Posted on 04/05/2010 11:59:18 AM PDT by Loud Mime
I am taking care of elderly parents; Mom does OK, but Dad has dementia and it is starting to cause other problems.
This thread is posted in order to ask for advice and tips from other freepers. There's a wealth of knowledge on this forum.
From what I have read, the medical community seems split on the question of dementia causing excessive sleep, or that excessive sleep causes dementia. I have noted that after Dad is up for some time and active, his mind is sharper....he remembers things that happened. Therefore, I'm inclined to believe the latter theory.
If I leave him to his own actions, he will spend 20 hours a day in bed - almost all of in sleep.
Getting him to do things is another labor, but I've learned something. I propose the minimum, such as "You do not have to take a full shower, but you need to wash off and towell off." Once in the shower his old habits take over and he's fully clean. He does not remember the previous instruction.
We no longer go for a walk, which is "work." Instead, we go shopping.
Any other tips or experiences?
That was an easy one. You could have done better!
I can say that it’s better to initiate treatment as early as possible. Some medications ( Aricept for example) can slow the progression of the disease considerably, but time is of the essence as it cannot regain any “mental ground” so to speak-which has already been lost. I will keep you in my prayers. I understand what you are going through, because my grandmother suffered from dementia for the last six years of her life. We cared for her in home as a family.
Here’s my personal story: If he’s on a statin medication for cholesterol, take him off it immediately. My mother-in-law was diagnosed with dementia. She was getting really bad, she would sit and stare and was non-communicative. She was always very social. We took her off her statin medication and started her on weekly vitamin B shots (tiny, thin needle-you can barely feel the shot) which cost about $5.00 for a rather large bottle so it’s extremely inexpensive. It’s like night and day! She is doing so much better and carries on conversations with us again.
There’s a lot on the internet about this Transient Global Amnesia and it’s relation to statins (Lipitor). Here’s a webpage by a former NASA astronaut, Dr. Duane Graveline, that experienced it himself.
http://www.spacedoc.net/
depressions comes with the territory, I would think.
Dad knows enough to know he’s not thinking clearly, and this embarrasses him.
And when we have to correct him or give him instructions he is further embarrassed.
I also think that if he is engaged in conversation, or cross word puzzles or some mental activity, he stays sharper.
I’m not trying to accuse your dad of anything and I know good, honest people can get dementia but has anyone noticed a quicker onset to someone who would frequently lie? I’m just curious because, well, my mother in law . . .
A colleague of mine has begun physical therapy, home nursing and a nutritionist for her husband and it’s still very tough to keep her head above water (so to speak). He doesn’t know whether it’s day or night, dresses and undresses repeatedly and is very uncooperative. I pray that you can get some assistance.
First of all, I would get him on a “fancy” B-12 vitamin. One of the expensive ones. I am on B-12 due to chemo (chemo brain). It is the same issue, same disconnected receptors. B-12 repairs this. Next, I would get my parent into a clinical trial. There are numerous new drugs being tested — most based in B-12 — that are being found to not only slow the process, but turn it around. You won’t have access to them for years unless you’re in a clinical trial. Do some homework online and talk to the doctor. If your doctor is unaware, find one who is keeping current. This is an exciting time in this field of research and there is help. Find a clinical trial. Start by Googling “B-12 Dementia” or “Dementia ‘clinical trial’”. You should get some bits of info there to get you started.
I went through this with my Mom. Thankfully when the time came, she was able to take up residence in her home town nursing home, where everyone knew her and she received excellent care.
The one piece of advice I have is to keep him on a schedule and KEEP HIM BUSY. THINKING.... DOING.... whatever....
“An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.... and the devil’s name is alzheimers”......
Lifting your family up in prayer.
I agree. First thing you need to do is see a geriatric expert.
#1 Be sure you have all exits in house secured because one day they probably will decide to leave on their own and it could be at 3 a.m. I had alarm system when doors opened.
#2 Don't expect them to be rational, i.e., if you go to Red Lobster because they like the popcorn shrimp there and once there, they will only order carrot cake---let them eat cake!
#3 Go with the flow...if you have a problem that won't be a problem tomorrow, it's not worth a hassle.
#4 Hide the car keys
#5 Never ever forget that most of the time they don't have a care in the world!
If you have not done so already, I suggest you contact an experienced elder-care attorney in your area right away. The following documents will greatly aid in your being able to provide continuous care and oversight of your parents, without any need for government intrusion.
- Durable Power of Attorney
- Health Care Surrogate
- HIPAA Release (gives you access to their medical records)
- Will
My husband and I have had less success with his parents in seeing the need for these documents. My in-laws do not see the danger in becoming incapacitated or incompetent, and not having provided a way for others to pay the bills, write the checks, confer with the doctors, etc. Unfortunately, they still feel that having a "Will" and long-term care insurance is all they need to provide for their care.
Bottom line ... get some good elder-care legal advice.
That worked pretty well for about 3 years as we strived to get things more and more regimented. We found that if she had a plan for the day she maintained a good attitude. Keep in mind that NOTHING we did stemmed the progression of memory loss.
After 3 years we moved her to an assisted living facility that specialized in dementia patients. She still has her own apartment but aides come by to handle medication, check on general hygiene and wellness, etc. They provide activities and meals as well as structure for her and an unbiased set of eyes and ears for us.
As the disease progresses I HIGHLY RECOMMEND that you make decisions that include your own mental health. Dementia patients, as you probably know, can easily take up every last bit of your time. There are also feelings of guilt and helplessness. It's easy to feel guilty when a loved one says they miss you 2 hours after you spent the entire day with them shopping and having lunch. It's easy to feel helpless when you get (literally) 20 phone calls asking the same question over a 2 hour period.
I know that it may seem harsh to put a loved one in the care of someone else but, if it is at all possible, doing so provides them with the day to day care that they need, provides them with some semblance of independence, and provides you with the opportunity to enjoy their company without the gut wrenching frustration of being 100% tied to an emotional roller coaster.
So much depends on the type and cause of the dementia. Not all dementia is the same.
Statins can take memory away. They are often worthless too. Niacin, Omega 3, exercise and healthy diet. http://bit.ly/acqAbO
Types of Memory
http://bit.ly/9hnJS1
Understanding and Treating Memory Loss
http://bit.ly/cr0DmD
Medical Tests to Consider to Evaluate Memory Problems
Supplements That May Be Helpful to Enhance Memory
http://bit.ly/cV2B9l
Get him on Aricept. I was amazed at the difference in my father after getting him on it. I took care of him from 2003 to 2009 and after a while the Aricept will wear off, but it can work for a long time. Not to mention the interest in cleanliness that seemed to come back. My poor father lived alone and when I would pick him to go to the doctor, he would smell to high heaven. After the Aricept, he still needed prodding, but he at least took an interest in bathing again.
If you have any questions, please feel free to Freepmail me. I went down the whole path with him and it’s a ride, that’s for sure.
Sorry to hear about your father’s failing health.
I’d guess that in his state of mind, he wakes up, sees himself in bed, and thinks that he should still be sleeping.
Can he still read a clock? Try putting a large wall clock on the bedroom wall where he can see it. A window with an eastern exposure will also allow in the cue of the rising sun.
My sister has it and her eyesight is failing. she worked in a defense plant during WWII.
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