Posted on 02/25/2010 1:51:55 PM PST by blackandgoldfan
There's an issue lately that I'd like to spread some awareness about. While we're all aware of the travesty of battering, I'd like to take this opportunity to remind everyone that abuse isn't only physical. Emotional and verbal abuse is equally abhorrent.
(Excerpt) Read more at therightstuffbng.blogspot.com ...
That's it? And you've posted these 42 words why? Is there a certain word count from the blog you posted from and you're not allowed to exceed 42 words or three sentences? Have you just recently learned that emotional and physical abuse is much worse than physical abuse?
Have you been abused? Are you married to an abuser? What's his/her type of abuse?
I believe Obama and his minions are abusing this country. It's like living with a narcissist (I have a friend who's married to one and it's NOT fun, in fact, the only way to really save yourself is get out fast, in the beginning), it doesn't matter what you do, they're not going to be happy, and you never know what's going to happen from day to day so you can't make any plans. And there's always some stupid crisis and you know you're being lied to EVERY SINGLE DAY and you walk on egg shells and no one understands what's so awful about him, he sure seems like a wonderful generous guy.
That was an excerpt from the post itself. I wrote the post listing signs of emotional/verbal abuse because last night, after 20 years, I’ve realized that yes, I am married to an abuser. And you’re right: it’s not fun. I just want to let others like me know that there is hope and help. If one more woman (or man) escapes the emotional and psychological battering of someone who claims to love them, then my work on this earth is done and I’ll die in peace.
No, it's not.
While you may be able to defend yourself against physical abuse, it's much harder.
Emotional and verbal "abuse" is much easier to deal with:
1) Walk out
2) Divorce your feelings from the abuser - if you don't care it's a "Sticks and stones..." situation
3) Divorce the perp if you're married to him/her
4) Shun the perp if you're not
5) Quit the job if the perp is your boss.
Broken bones, knife wounds, gunshot wounds, etc., are not equivalent. In a case of emotional/verbal abuse you are making it possible.
Stop participating.
And go where??? I’ve got two autistic children who depend on routine, the husband controls the money, and I’ve got no marketable skills. Everything is in his name.
If my husband beat me, I can put distance between us physically. No matter where I go, though, the insults and degradation are there. You can’t just turn off memories like a water faucet. There is no escape.
While it’s easy to say to just do 1, 2, 3, etc., don’t pass judgment on those living in their own private hell until you know all the details.
Okay, I finally read your blog. On a side note, if you want more people to read it, you will need to put more than 42 words in your post.
I’ve been doing a LOT of research on narcissism lately, because of my friend, and there’s a LOT on the web to read. Your husband sounds like a classic case (your example of lying on the frozen ground and he doesn’t care is a classic example of a narcissistic man) and the first thing you can do is arm yourself with knowledge. This is very very important. Read anything and EVERYTHING you can find about narcissism. I used search words like “living with a narcissist” “examples of narcissism” and stuff like that.
And start saving money! Hide it somewhere where it can’t be found, even if it’s only a quarter here and there. It will add up. And you’re going to need a divorce lawyer if you want to save your sanity. There is no choice but to sever the relationship unless you want to continue living this way. He will not change.
I feel for you, I really do. But if you arm yourself with knowledge you will find techniques that will help you. In fact, you might check around and see if there’s a 12-step program (I’m not joking about this).
Does he drink?
I appreciate the advice. I already plan on “squirreling away”.
He doesn’t drink. He’s Type 2 diabetic and uses his “sugars being out of whack” as an excuse. It’s an excuse that I just can’t accept anymore.
He’s a good provider and works long hours, but he doesn’t seem to realize that those are also empty excuses.
I’m glad we got to clear the air. I don’t know where I’m going on this road, but I know that I’ve got to hold out hope for the sake of my kids.
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