Posted on 02/10/2010 10:46:06 AM PST by TheVitaminPress
Washington- White House Press Secretary Barry Gibbs advised the Washington Press Corps, this morning, that the Teleprompter was recovering nicely and would be resuming its role as President of the United States by early tomorrow. There had been much concern over the health and mental status of the Teleprompter over the last few months as many -that is to say many in the alternative press- had began to notice that the Teleprompter was directing Official Teleprompter Spokesperson (OTS) Buraq Obama to mispronounce words such as orion (oar-ee-on), corps man (corpse man) and most recently highly offend a delegation of dignitaries from Phuket, Thailand. Shortly after the last fiasco George Soros made the decision that the Teleprompter be taken off-line so that the problem could be fully diagnosed and addressed.
After hours of diagnostic tests yesterday it was determined by lead surgeon -Dr. Baltimore, M.D.- that the issue did not lie with the Teleprompter at all but was rather due to OTS Obama’s limited talent with English – which is immediately understandable as it is the man’s second language.
To remedy this situation it was further decided, again by Soros, to upgrade the Teleprompter with a pronunciation guide and and subject Obama to a lengthy session of remedial education, similar to the one he was put through to teach him that there are not 57 states, George W. Bush did not serve three terms, the Presidential Inauguration is in January and not November, breathalyzers are not prescribed to treat asthma, it is improper etiquette to walk through windows or catch the White House on fire, there is no Mexican Holiday known as Cinco de Quatro, German -not Austrian- is the official language of Austria, the official oath of office (as transcribed from the U.S. Constitution), that even though dead people might vote for him he does not see them at Memorial Day Services, that Henry Ford did not invent the automobile, his father did not own a time machine and that he should not show fealty to foreign powers by bowing to their overlords.
Gibbs also informed those in attendance at the press conference that until the Teleprompter could again assume its duties and responsibilities the country was in good hands . . . Joe Biden’s.
Yes indeed, and considering he's COMMANDER IN CHIEF of those CORPSE-MEN, makes it all the more hilarious.
But really, it's all Bush's fault. Or maybe it's Bush's teleprompter's fault? After all, it was TOTUS that fed him the word in the first place.
Are we dealing with conniving, scheming evil teleprompters? LOL.
So, if the guy goes out to eat at a Thai restaurant, he says, “Honey, let’s get some THIGH”?
ANd they end up at KFC?
It rhymed with Nantucket.
“Yes indeed, and considering he’s COMMANDER IN CHIEF of those CORPSE-MEN, makes it all the more hilarious.”
And sad at the same time.
I missed this one, did obama truly think George W. Bush served three terms?
Only if they’ve added arugula, wagyu beef and certified organic Tuscan kale to the compliment of the colonel’s secret list of herbs and spices.
Yeah, it was during a campaign rally and he stated that John McCain was running for George Bush’s fourth term. Of course that could be considered a correct statement if he was also counting H.W.’s term one and only term. . . but that might be affording to much credit to a fellow who thinks there are 57 states and is so very secretive about his college performance.
Haha, it would be if William Jefferson were still in the Oval Office.
I'm speechless.
Indeed. What’s even sadder is 1) an egotism that asked no pronunciation guidance, or 2) a staff even more clueless than he about all things military (surely he rehearsed in front of SOMEone!.
Odds are they were likely referring to Phuket. Think about mispronouncing it and why they didn't in the article! BWAHHHHHHH!
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