A Word on Decorative Throw Pillows

Notoriously Conservative ^ | 01 25 10 | Notoriously Conservative

[Notoriously Conservative]

From Notoriously Conservative:

My wife and I bought some nice new couches. I foolishly concluded that I was done spending money and I could now sit comfortably; no, no. Saturday I was notified that we needed some decorative throw pillows, so that they could sit on the couch and not be used (my words). Wisely, I acquiesced, thinking that a few dollars for a peaceful weekend was well worth it.

Have you ever priced throw pillows? $30 dollars for a 1 foot square piece of cotton-puff, wrapped in fabric, should not cost $30. Am I mad, or is $120 for four decorative pillows simply too much, and a silly, worthless expenditure? Lucky for me, my wife agrees.

I demand the Obama administration look into the decorative throw pillow industry. It is clear there are some textile fat cats out there, getting rich off pillows. It's price gouging and it is un-American.

[OldMissileer]

You are not mad. It is the lack of a Y chromosome that makes women go crazy and do silly things like spend larger sums of money than needed on ancillary items.

[Disambiguator]

Just wait until she notices that the rug and the draperies don’t match the pillows. And the paint is a couple years old...

[gussiefinknottle]

dude, $30 bucks is cheap!

[SkyDancer]

Oh, Really? Some men will go overboard buying gifts, racking up enormous amounts of debts, then later blame the woman. Why does he buy items he can’t afford? It goes back to what you learned in high school, he just wants one thing. Once the mystery wears off, he is blaming the woman for his financial woes.

[kiltie65]

Well too much of that Y chronosome makes guys not realize how important those ancillary items are to their wife’s happiness. If we’re not happy ____________ (fill in the blank).

[mnehring]

[Steve is ranting about the usefulness of sofas, after discussing the unusefulness of cushions]
Steve: But Susan, Sally, Jane! This is a sofa. It is designed by clever scientists in such a way so as to shield the unprotected user from the risk of skin abrasions, serious head trauma, and, of course...
[drops to floor behind sofa, then pops back up]
Steve: Daleks!

---

Junior Shop Assistant: Why do girls like you always have a boyfriend?
Susan Walker: Because I have acute nymphomania and my own brewery.

---

Steve: You bring these things into our homes! They sit on our chairs! They WATCH our televisions! I-I just need to know, on behalf of all men everywhere, I just need to ask, please - WHAT are they FOR? I mean, look at them! Look at the chubby little bastards sitting around everywhere! I mean, what are they? Pets for chairs?
[to salesman]
Steve: Come on - you sell them - what are they for?
Senior Shop Assistant: Well... you sit on them.
Steve: Ah! Hahahaha. Y'see, that's where you're wrong! Nobody sits on them. Watch this. Here's the cushion. I'm putting it on the sofa. Now, watch me - I'm sitting down and what do I do on my final approach? I - ooh! - move the cushion! See? It's not involved! It's not... PART of the whole... sitting process. It just... lies there! It's fat litter! It's a sofa parasite!
Jane: It's... y'know... padding.
Steve: Padding? Oh now, that's interesting. I like padding. Y'know, if I was, say, uh, an American Football player, y'know, all those big bastards running at me, I would say "Give me some of that padding and be quick about it!". Y'know, if my job involved bouncing down jagged rocks, I would say "In view of those jagged rocks down there, I'll have some of that padding, thank you very much". Susan, Sally, Jane, THIS... is a sofa! It is designed by clever scientists in such a way so as to shield the unprotected user from the risk of skin abrasions, serious head trauma, and, of course... DALEKS. You do not, trust me girls, trust me on this one, you do not need padding to tackle upholstery. So, please, once and for all, tell me WHY on earth you would want me to sit on one of these?
Susan: BECAUSE... if you pressed it firmly against your bottom, it might stop you TALKING!

[heartwood]

When you consider that our family room couch is a three hundred dollar IKEA job, re-covered with a fifteen dollar set of plain brown sheets, the fifty dollars I spent on teal and turquoise throw pillows were well spent.

We don’t NEED the pillows, but the room does look better for them. Mr. Heartwood never would have bought them, being handicapped by a Y chromosome visual-cognitive defect, but he likes the room better for my purchase.

[Responsibility2nd]

For future shopiing reference....

 

Shopping results for throw pillows

Silk Print Throw Pillow Bronze

$13.99 new

Target

Zodax Paisley Print Throw Pillow

$20.00 new

Amazon.com

Spring Flower and Ferns Small Throw Pillow by Pillow Dcor

$30.99 new

Overstock.com

Silk Print Throw Pillow Mocha

$9.99 new

Target

Ewins Premium Indoor/Outdoor 19" Throw Pillow - Brick

$11.99 new

Amazon.com

[Tax-chick]

I got mine for $8 each at Walmart. The catz sit on them, regally, and the Offspring throw them around the room when I’m not watching. The pillows, I mean, not the catz.

[Responsibility2nd]

Even a viking kitteh has a word about throw pillows...

 

 

[Notoriously Conservative]

We were shopping at Khols. We also checked Ikea which was a little cheaper, but she hated all of them.

[Billthedrill]

They're throw pillows. You're supposed to throw them at the cat.

What?

[KarlInOhio]

It's a sofa parasite!

I have friends with far too many throw pillows (or as I call it, Y chromosome weakness). I'll have to remember to call them sofa parasites.

[6ppc]

LOL! You know why they call them throw pillows don't you?

Because you have to throw them across the room so you have room to sit on the couch!

[fullchroma]

Dude, if Momma ain’t happy ain’t no one happy!

[Tax-chick]

No accounting for taste. Ours are plain brown plush.

[texgal]

As a character in a movie once said, "The only thing that separates us from the animals is our ability to accessorize!"

I sew my own so we don't spend that much on them.

[FrogMom]

I have those two pillows!

[mnehring]

There is a YouTube video of that rant somewhere I need to find and link. It is one of the funniest things I’ve seen.