Skip to comments.Obama Awarded Nobel Prize For His Two Big Accomplishments: Jack and Squat
Posted on 10/09/2009 9:00:26 PM PDT by Michael Eden
Obama was awarded the Nobel Prize only twelve days after his inauguration. By then, some anonymous figure decided Obama had already saved the world, and by then, the liberal/socialist fix was in.
Obama now shares the honor of receiving a Nobel Prize with his fellow agent of man-caused disaster (which the left likes to call "change"), Yassar Arafat. And of course, he also shares the great honor of the Nobel with the previous Worst American President Ever, Jimmy Carter.
Someone tracked down the itinerary of the Twelve Days That Saved The World:
January 20: Sworn in as president. Went to a parade. Partied.The thing that makes me laugh is the contrast from just a week ago, as Saturday Night Live demonstrated what an empty suit Obama has truly been.
January 21: Asked bureaucrats to re-write guidelines for information requests. Held an open house party at the White House.
January 22: Signed Executive Orders: Executive Branch workers to take ethics pledge; re-affirmed Army Field Manual techniques for interrogations; expressed desire to close Gitmo (hows that working out?)
January 23: Ordered the release of federal funding to pay for abortions in foreign countries. Lunch with Joe Biden; met with Tim Geithner.
January 24: Budget meeting with economic team.
January 25: Skipped church.
January 26: Gave speech about jobs and energy. Met with Hillary Clinton. Attended Geithner's swearing in ceremony.
January 27: Met with Republicans. Spoke at a clock tower in Ohio.
January 28: Economic meetings in the morning, met with Defense secretary in the afternoon.
January 29: Signed Ledbetter Bill overturning Supreme Court decision on lawsuits over wages. Party in the State Room. Met with Biden.
January 30: Met economic advisers. Gave speech on Middle Class Working Families Task Force. Met with senior enlisted military officials.
January 31: Took the day off.
February 1: Skipped church. Threw a Super Bowl party.
Newsbusters - which has the SNL video embedded - provides a transcript of the skit:
As the New York Post puts it, "The Nobel committee assembled in Oslo said the prize was given to Obama more for his promise than for his performance, saying his main accomplishment was ushering in 'a new climate in international politics.'" And I think that's true. Under Obama's presidency, Iran will have nuclear weapons. And we will truly see "a new climate in international politics" as Iran exports terrorism with the impunity that only having nuclear weapons can provide.FRED ARMISEN AS BARACK OBAMA: There are those on the right who are angry. They think that I'm turning this great country into something that resembles the Soviet Union or Nazi Germany, but that's just not the case. But when you look at my record it's very clear what I've done so far and that is nothing. Nada. Almost one year and nothing to show for it.As a checklist of his agenda items during the campaign appeared on the screen -- global warming, immigration reform, gays in the military, limits on executive powers, torture prosecutions, closing Gitmo, withdrawing from Iraq, improving the status of the fight in Afghanistan, healthcare reform, etc. -- Armisen accurately commented on how they weren't accomplished:
After completing the checklist, Armisen wonderfully said, "So looking at this list, I'm seeing two big accomplishments: JACK and SQUAT!"
But Armisen wonderfully reminded viewers:And remember, I can do whatever I want. I have a majority in both houses of Congress. I could make it mandatory for all gays to marry, and require all cars to run on marijuana. But do I? No!
But it's not all bad news. I have a few accomplishments. The Cash for Clunkers program really stimulated the economy. Unfortunately it was the economy of Japan!
Let's see, what else? Also, I killed a fly on TV, remember that?
Uh, I brought a white police officer and a black professor together for a beer. Who else could do that? You're right -- Oprah. But no one else.
I think this ultimately shows how futile the left is - whether in Norway or America. It shows just how intellectually and morally bankrupt liberalism truly is. The fact that Obama has accomplished nothing is immaterial; all that matters is he is the personification of "hope and change" and talking unicorns.
The left doesn't stand for anything other than the left.
George Bush - or anyone who holds conservative principles, for that matter - could literally duplicate the Twelve Labors of Hercules. And still collect - in the words of the SNL skit - "Jack and Squat" from the mainstream media, the United Nations, the "international community," and certainly the Nobel Prize committtee.
The award of the Nobel Prize to Barack Obama - other than making utterly meaningless the Nobel Prize (which, let's face it, long-ago made itself meaningless) - is a demonstration that there is dedicated wholly to giving to socialists, and taking way from anybody else.
The left loves to represent itself as "standing for the little guy." But that is not even close to being true. Rather, they stand as part of a gargantuan, power-hungry, global and globalist movement that already controls most of the pieces of the world chessboard, and demands to control all of them.
He killed a fly on TV. Why didn’t he negotiate with it? Give back the prize, Obama. Murderer.
I saw that. It was absolutely terrible. I had nightmares for weeks.
He could have compromised with that fly, figured out a way to appease it so that there could be peace in our time. But no. He just squashed it in cold blood, on television, so all its little fly relatives had to watch it happen.
I thought he was nominated right after his inauguration. The award process will conclude with his big walk to accept the money, which I’m sure he will donate to his brother who still lives in a shack in Kenya.
I’ve thought about that brother in his shack. It must suck being him.
As far as liberals are concerned, he poops turds of gold. Everything is just handed to him. Children are taught how to properly worship him in the government schools.
And then there’s this poor Joe sitting in his hut, wondering when his brother, the Man With The Golden Turds, will think about him.
Jan 22: Sworn in again “just to be sure”, but didn’t use Bible.
Well, if I were president of “No, no, no. Not God bless America; God DAMN America!” I probably wouldn’t want to use a Bible either.
I didn’t know about the lack of the Bible. Kindasorta figures, though.
It was probably when he discarded the Bible for the oath of office that the Nobel Prize committee decided he qualified to be in their club.
As impressive as that list is, just imagine how much more impressive his Beer Summit will be when reviewed by the Nobel committee. Shouldn’t he already be a shoo-in for next year’s prize?
“Skipped church” twice in two weeks. That’s what did it.
By the way, it’s fine to mention jack and squat, but what about diddly. Don’t forget diddly.
Douche liberals greasing one of their own ...
Your point has a follow-up point: it is amazing how this guy can totally screw the pooch, and then be lauded for the aftermath.
I mean, he stays in a racist, Marxist, un-American church for 23 years - and then he’s worshiped in lavish praise for his speech in which he says he can’t throw his reverend under the bus just before throwing him under the bus.
And then he makes a racist, stupid, indefensible remark about a police officer doing his job and getting a racist tirade for doing it, and then he’s the Beloved One for his “beer summit.”
I literally think now that Iran can build the bomb and nuke an American city (or six), give a speech about how it’s not the time for anger, and be praised for it.
2009 Cy Young Award Winner
You are right, it is amazing. I think part of the explanation is the left have developed such a raw, irrational anger and hatred toward anything conservative that they automatically cling to anyone who the right doesn’t like and then continually attempt to prop up that person (whether or not he is actually deserving of any props) as a way to “stick it” to us.
Of course there is more to it than that. Obama comes along at a time where his ethnicity is a huge plus for him and he knows it and plays it to his advantage at every turn. Conversely there are many whites who deep down feel it is their duty as a sort of reparations to be uncritical of him and shower him with praise in order to relieve the white guilt that has been hammered into them by the media and the educational system for decades now.
And that is where America is falling apart. We are being divided more than ever by race because racial divisions provide such an easy yet powerful political tool. More than that it has allowed the hard left to sneak candidates like Obama into powerful positions when they would otherwise have been rejected as too radical by most Americans. But hey, it’s high time we had a black president (who cares if he’s a closet commie). And it’s high time we had a wise Latina woman on the Supreme Court (who cares whether she is really qualified for it or not).
“Cy” standing for “Cynthia.” Let’s not forget he throws like a Cynthia.
I agree with everything you say, Humbug, but would add a religious dimension to it.
Not every conservative is religious. But the conservative worldview itself comes from a religious worldview, specifically the Judeo-Christian worldview.
I have a God, and a heaven. Liberals don’t. So they’ve got to invent these things. Their god is government, and they tend to invest “messiahship” in whoever rules their government utopia. Whereas we don’t put our ultimate stock in government - or even particularly trust it - liberals invest EVERYTHING into their god surrogate. Government and their government messiah - and the utopia they want these to create for them - is very simply all they have.
Jack and Squat ..... I thought that was the names of his two teleprompters?
“He killed a fly on TV. Why didnt he negotiate with it?”
And the relatives of that fly should be able to get a lawyer and sue for wrongful death. If he would do to this to the poor humble fly, what would he do to you and me?
True, but the judges swooned at his hopey-changeup.
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