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Polar Bears "Dropping Like Flies" From Heat Exhaustion
ecoEnquirer ^ | May 12, 2009 | ecoEnquirer

Posted on 05/12/2009 9:39:10 PM PDT by This Just In

Polar Bears "Dropping Like Flies" From Heat Exhaustion

Hunter Jeremiah Johnson comforts a polar bear that had collapsed from heat exhaustion before he could shoot it.

(Cold Bay, Alaska) Warming temperatures in polar regions are causing an increasing number of polar bears to collapse from heat exhaustion, local hunters report.

Jeremiah Johnson, a local hunter who tracks and kills polar bears "because they are there" has seen three of the behemoths collapse before him in just the last month. "It just isn't sporting to shoot one of these creatures when they are suffering like this", Johnson said as he recounted his attempts to revive a bear he was ready to shoot.

Local TV meteorologist Sky McCloud explained, "Average annual temperatures in the area have risen from 20 degrees below zero to 15 below zero in the last 30 years, and these giant creatures simply can not withstand the excess heat."

Bear researchers concur with McCloud. Dr. Phillip Slander, of the University of Alaska's Wildlife Health and Comfort Department, said "People don't realize how much heat stress these temperatures put on polar bears. The bears are increasingly being seen taking dips in the ocean in their attempts to cool off."

Researchers believe that it is only a matter of time before polar bears are pushed to the brink of extinction. "Ten degrees below zero seems to be the generally agreed tipping point", said McCloud. "Once average temperatures reach this level for several days in a row, the bears start dropping like flies."

Dr. Slander recounted a recent incident in which a polar bear attacked a local homeless man, and had devoured only a small part of the man's body before collapsing from exhaustion. "Because of global warming, the bears' normal way of life is changing rapidly..it's tragic."


TOPICS: Education; Humor; Society; Weather
KEYWORDS: junkscience; satire
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1 posted on 05/12/2009 9:39:11 PM PDT by This Just In
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To: This Just In

strangely satire and reality is so blurred these days I have to check the tags to make sure


2 posted on 05/12/2009 9:41:55 PM PDT by wheresmycheckbarry?
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To: This Just In

Ha, ha, ha!


3 posted on 05/12/2009 9:42:27 PM PDT by Inyo-Mono (Had God not driven man from the Garden of Eden the Sierra Club surely would have.)
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Comment #4 Removed by Moderator

To: This Just In

Maybe if Johnson just removed that heavy pelt the bears could cool off a bit. Works for “grizz”.


5 posted on 05/12/2009 9:44:36 PM PDT by count-your-change (You don't have be brilliant, not being stupid is enough.)
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To: wheresmycheckbarry?

I find satire an entertaining outlet. We can laugh at the absurdity of reality expressed in this light. :^)


6 posted on 05/12/2009 9:44:41 PM PDT by This Just In
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To: This Just In
"Average annual temperatures in the area have risen from 20 degrees below zero to 15 below zero in the last 30 years, and these giant creatures simply can not withstand the excess heat."

Can someone please explain to poor stupid me how polar bears survive in non-Arctic environments like Europe and the United States?

7 posted on 05/12/2009 9:48:28 PM PDT by Lizavetta (Politicians: When they're not lying, they're stealing.)
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To: This Just In

Don’t blame me, I voted for Ted Nugent!


8 posted on 05/12/2009 9:49:19 PM PDT by smokingfrog ( Don't mess with the mockingbird! /\/\ http://tiny.cc/freepthis)
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To: Lizavetta
Can someone please explain to poor stupid me how polar bears survive in non-Arctic environments like Europe and the United States?

We feed them frozen German tourists.

9 posted on 05/12/2009 9:49:58 PM PDT by usmcobra (Your chances of dying in bed are reduced by getting out of it, but most people still die in bed)
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To: This Just In

This is pure bull crap!! Ask our friends from Montana or North Dakota or Minnesota if things are warming? Bull!!


10 posted on 05/12/2009 9:50:21 PM PDT by mrsalty
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To: usmcobra
Like this dumb broad? Okay, I get it.


11 posted on 05/12/2009 9:52:08 PM PDT by Lizavetta (Politicians: When they're not lying, they're stealing.)
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To: This Just In

What a load of BS. There are freaking polar bears at the zoo in warm climates.


12 posted on 05/12/2009 10:05:46 PM PDT by Ron Jeremy (sonic)
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To: count-your-change
I find it amazing that Jeremiah Johnson is still alive after some 120 years, but even more, that he was able to take time out of killing Blackfoot warriors for revenge just to care for these poor, suffering polar bears.

Absolutely astounding!

13 posted on 05/12/2009 10:15:22 PM PDT by Drammach (Freedom - It's not just a job, It's an Adventure)
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To: This Just In

Guess I better move up north to get out of this cold weather we are having in Montana. It snowed here today.


14 posted on 05/12/2009 10:16:34 PM PDT by tuckrdout (~ 'Daily example is the most subtle of poisons.' ~)
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To: wheresmycheckbarry?
strangely satire and reality is so blurred these days I have to check the tags to make sure

I know what you mean, I especially have trouble with the Bozo satire because that guy is liable to do anything or propose anything and you have to be really careful when you start reading a post about him.

15 posted on 05/12/2009 10:20:17 PM PDT by calex59
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To: Ron Jeremy

Ahemmm.....(Whispers)satire!


16 posted on 05/12/2009 10:21:20 PM PDT by calex59
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To: calex59

hmm.. usually I am the one making fun off others for not getting satire!!


17 posted on 05/12/2009 10:23:27 PM PDT by Ron Jeremy (sonic)
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To: This Just In

The ecoEnquirer?

More like the ecoOnion or ecoScrappleface.

Check out some of their other “stories”.

Hilarious.


18 posted on 05/12/2009 10:24:16 PM PDT by garyhope
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To: Drammach

You don’t remember the last line of the movie??

“And some say he lives there, still....”

[the narrator warned you!]


19 posted on 05/12/2009 10:30:33 PM PDT by Salamander (Cursed with Second Sight.)
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To: This Just In
Can I haz air conditioning?


20 posted on 05/12/2009 10:36:47 PM PDT by Richard Kimball (We're all criminals. They just haven't figured out what some of us have done yet.)
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