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Napolitano Outlines New Homeland Security Approach
A Semi-News/Semi-Satire from AzConservative ^ | 28 Feb 2009 | John Semmens

Posted on 03/01/2009 3:38:44 PM PST by John Semmens

Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano announced a 180-degree turn from the Bush Administration’s approach to guarding the nation’s security.

“By its emphasis on the negative, the Bush Administration gave strength to those who would harm us,” Napolitano contended. “Calling it a ‘war on terror’ for example, elevated the scale of violence and increased the risk that we would provoke more attacks.”

Napolitano cast her new policy as “the power of positive thinking.” “When I was a small child I was fascinated by the story of Peter Pan,” she said. “Just by thinking happy thoughts the characters could fly. Ultimately, they were able to defeat the pirates and return home safely. If we can create those same positive vibes, we, too, can triumph over the modern day pirates who are causing such mischief around the world.”

Staff members at the Department of Homeland Security have been instructed to revise the language they use to describe the current situation. Out are terms like “terrorist” and “vulnerable.” In place of these negative terms, the Department staff is advised to use “those with a different world view” and “a society open to alternative perspectives of life,” respectively.

Representative Peter King (R-N.Y.), the Republican minority’s top ranking member of the House Homeland Security Committee, called Napolitano’s strategy “appallingly naïve.” “She obviously living in some sort of fantasy land,” he wryly observed. “Apparently, she believes we can rely on the ‘kindness of strangers’ to protect us. I think she dangerously misperceives the threat.”

White House press secretary Robert Gibbs dismissed King’s criticism as “missing the point.” “The president is an internal optimist, so he does have Peter Pan-like qualities,” Gibbs said. “He’s brought a new sense of hope to the world. I think if we all give him our unquestioning faith, this country may find a strength that has been blocked by the narrow thinking of the past.”

read more...

http://www.azconservative.org/Semmens1.htm


TOPICS: Government; Humor; Military/Veterans; Politics
KEYWORDS: bho44; bhodhs; dhs; immigration; jihad; mexico; napolitano; satire; security; terrorism
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1 posted on 03/01/2009 3:38:45 PM PST by John Semmens
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To: John Semmens

This has got to be Scrappleface, right?


2 posted on 03/01/2009 3:40:29 PM PST by Edgar3 ("Is there a Patriot in the house?")
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To: John Semmens

Thanks to liberals like Napolitano, most small children these days think Peter Pan is a wash basin in a “ho” house.


3 posted on 03/01/2009 3:41:21 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (Just being a "U.S. citizen" does not make one an American.)
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To: John Semmens
Napolitano cast her new policy as “the power of positive thinking.” “When I was a small child I was fascinated by the story of Peter Pan,” she said. “Just by thinking happy thoughts the characters could fly. Ultimately, they were able to defeat the pirates and return home safely. If we can create those same positive vibes, we, too, can triumph over the modern day pirates who are causing such mischief around the world.”

This is a joke right? We are going to defeat terrorists by thinking happy thoughts? Somebody get her out of there quick before she gets us all killed.

4 posted on 03/01/2009 3:41:57 PM PST by Federalist Society
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To: Edgar3; John Semmens
Nah, this had John's fingerprints on it from the get-go. LOL


5 posted on 03/01/2009 3:42:02 PM PST by Viking2002 (The Occupation has begun. God help America.)
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To: John Semmens

Yeah, just keep saying to yourself, they won’t hurt us, they won’t hurt us. Jeez


6 posted on 03/01/2009 3:42:10 PM PST by Joiseydude (Obama: "Putting my ideals into effect are more important than your safety from terrorist acts")
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To: John Semmens

She can do for National Security what she did for Border Security back in Arizona.

Phoenix is the kidnapping capital of America. Arizona has hundreds of thousands of illegals crossing the border every year and they are provably not all Mexicans ‘coming to cut our grass and wash dishes’. Napolitano sabotaged every effort to secure the border even as she publicly talked about how important it was and how much she was in favor of doing it.

Typically liberal, all well-intentioned speeches and ineffective or destruction actions.


7 posted on 03/01/2009 3:49:06 PM PST by bpjam (Tell your Rep/Senator to Google: Marjorie Mezvinsky. Yes, it IS a threat.)
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To: John Semmens
When I was a small child I was fascinated by the story of Peter Pan,” she said. “Just by thinking happy thoughts the characters could fly.

Living in a dream world. God help us!

8 posted on 03/01/2009 3:49:31 PM PST by TribalPrincess2U (Welcome to Obama's America... Be afraid, be very afraid)
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To: John Semmens

SATIRE with this current gang in power is just too close to realistic.


9 posted on 03/01/2009 3:53:09 PM PST by anniegetyourgun
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To: John Semmens

The Sick Fact is This is NOT SATIRE! It is the GOD’S HONEST TRUTH:-( Napolitano actually believes this Sick, Twisted Logic! She has already forbid the use of the words “TERROR, TERRORISTS, WAR ON TERROR, etc.” This is SICK and It is DEMENTED!


10 posted on 03/01/2009 3:57:32 PM PST by True Republican Patriot (GOD BLESS AMERICA and Our Great President George W. Bush)
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To: John Semmens
Napolitano should explain to taxpayers her public financing, as Governor, of the Arizona-Mexico Commission, and the Border Infrastructure Project implemented in collaboration with federal, state and local government agencies........that's OUR tax dollars.

FROM THE ARIZONA-MEXICO COMMISSION WEB SITE

"The Border Infrastructure Project database is the single source of information on Arizona’s border infrastructure projects. It tracks each project’s progress along its approval, programming and funding paths and provides the information in a concise and timely way. I hope this is a valuable tool for you and that you will use it often." - Arizona Governor Janet Napolitano

http://www.azmc.org/

Welcome to the Arizona-Mexico Commission (AMC) online news and information resource. the economic well being and quality of life for residents of Arizona by promoting a strong, cooperative relationship with Mexico and Latin America through advocacy, trade, networking and information.

Looking for funding?

Look no further and check out AMC-ASU’s new funding database: Unlocking the gates to grant sponsorship in Arizona!

Visitwww.azgates.org to find funding and grant application resources online. The single information source on Arizona's Border Infrastructure Projects!

Visit www.azbip.org to find streamlined information on infrastructure projects in Arizona's border communities.

LINK State of Arizona Border Infrastructure Project http://www.bip.arizona.edu/

The University of Arizona Office of Economic and Policy Analysis developed the Border Infrastructure Project concept in partnership with the Arizona-Mexico Commission. It is being implemented in collaboration with federal, state and local government agencies. Border communities and stakeholders will be engaged in this project through outreach efforts.

11 posted on 03/01/2009 3:59:39 PM PST by Liz (Problem with socialism is you eventually run out of other people*s monThe Arizona-Meey. M. Thatcher)
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To: Federalist Society

If we have a terrorist attack on US soil the best we can hope for is for it to happen in San Francisco while Nancy Pelosi is hosting a big Democrat party gathering.


12 posted on 03/01/2009 4:15:00 PM PST by RightWingConspirator (Impeach Zerobama and send him home to Kenya!)
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To: John Semmens

I don’t believe The Onion could make this stuff up!


13 posted on 03/01/2009 4:16:05 PM PST by RightWingConspirator (Impeach Zerobama and send him home to Kenya!)
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To: John Semmens
Photobucket
14 posted on 03/01/2009 4:16:06 PM PST by bigheadfred (Negromancer !!! RUN for your lives !!!)
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To: TribalPrincess2U
When I was a small child I was fascinated by the story of Peter Pan,” she said. “Just by thinking happy thoughts the characters could fly.

"Living in a dream world. God help us!"

The abrasive Michael Savage who is often dismissed here as and odd ball on FR would say "liberalism is a mental disorder". I have not yet heard a better assessment.

15 posted on 03/01/2009 4:18:53 PM PST by LoneRangerMassachusetts
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To: John Semmens

The new DHS policy:

Kick ALL legalized and natural born citizens out of the country and give citizenship to all the filth coming over our southern border.

That will give the Democrats a solid voting advantage until the US collapses into another third world state in about three years.


16 posted on 03/01/2009 4:33:37 PM PST by OldMissileer (Atlas, Titan, Minuteman, PK. Winners of the Cold War)
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To: John Semmens

Reminds me of the old song “Everything is beautiful in its own way.....”. When the next terrorist attack comes, I am sure both parties will blame each other but the sad fact is both parties have failed to sealed our borders and protect Americans. I am also sure that when the next attack comes members of both parties will don sackcloth, sprinkle ashes on their heads, beat their chest and vow it will never happen again....then 6 months later it will be business as usual.


17 posted on 03/01/2009 5:43:57 PM PST by antidemoncrat
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To: John Semmens
"Napolitano cast her new policy as “the power of positive thinking.”

I recall a story about the late leftie Bertrand Russell....

Arrested at a 60's anti-nuclear war demo....he was asked in jail:

Jailer:...And what do you do...?

Bertie:...I am a philospoher.

Jailer: and what might a philosopher do...?

Bertie:....I think.

Jailer: So do you think you could clean those latrines with this bucket and mop:

18 posted on 03/01/2009 5:46:20 PM PST by spokeshave (Palin-Santelli '12)
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To: John Semmens

>>>“The president is an internal optimist, so he does have Peter Pan-like qualities,” Gibbs said.

I agree. Obama does have Peter Pan-like qualities.

I bet Donald Young had pictures of him in tights. We know how that turned out.


19 posted on 03/01/2009 5:52:14 PM PST by Calpernia (Hunters Rangers - Raising the Bar of Integrity http://www.barofintegrity.us)
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To: John Semmens

The power of positive thinking....thinking happy thoughts...triumph over those who are causing mischief around the world.

She really is part of BO’s Magic Kingdom. God help us.


20 posted on 03/01/2009 5:54:17 PM PST by azishot (I just joined the NRA.)
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