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Dear Abby
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Posted on 08/12/2008 11:33:53 AM PDT by jmpmstr4u2
Dear Abby,
I am a crack dealer in Beaumont , Texas , who has recently been diagnosed as a carrier of HIV virus. My parents live in Fort Worth . One of my sisters lives in Pflugerville and is married to a transvestite. My father and mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana. They are financially dependent on my other two sisters, who are prostitutes in Dallas . I have two brothers: one is currently serving a life sentence at Huntsville for the murder of a teenage boy in 1994. My other brother is currently in jail awaiting charges of sexual misconduct with his three children. I have recently become engaged to marry a former prostitute who lives in Longview .. She is a part time 'working girl'.
All things considered, my problem is this. I love my fiance and look forward to bringing her into the family. I certainly want to be totally open and honest with her. Should I tell her about my cousin who supports Barack Obama for President?
Signed, Worried About My Reputation
TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: elections; obama; sarchasm; satire
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To: jmpmstr4u2
Well that’s something way out there...
2
posted on
08/12/2008 11:35:03 AM PDT
by
wastedyears
(Show me your precious darlings, and I will crush them all)
To: jmpmstr4u2
3
posted on
08/12/2008 11:37:15 AM PDT
by
mnehring
To: jmpmstr4u2
Well I would certainly believe a thug would support Obama....
4
posted on
08/12/2008 11:37:58 AM PDT
by
Tzimisce
(How Would Mohammed Vote? Obama for President!)
To: mnehrling
I know, but it was too funny not to share... AGAIN...
5
posted on
08/12/2008 11:38:17 AM PDT
by
jmpmstr4u2
(CEO; 72 Virgin dating service, (We'll set you up))
To: jmpmstr4u2
6
posted on
08/12/2008 11:40:53 AM PDT
by
DCPatriot
("It aint what you don't know that kills you. It's what you know that aint so" Theodore Sturgeon))
To: jmpmstr4u2
Who posted my letter?
I thought this was confidential.....
Geez...Ya’ can’t even trust Dear Abbey anymore...
7
posted on
08/12/2008 11:46:24 AM PDT
by
nevergore
("It could be that the purpose of my life is simply to serve as a warning to others.")
To: jmpmstr4u2
I see this as a sad commentary on what Liberal "social engineering" has wrought.
All things considered, if his fiancé isn't bothered by any of the other stuff, she'll be an avid Obambi supporter herself and will "love" him all the more for it - knowing he'll be a "castrati" spineless push-over who will give in to her every wish.
To: jmpmstr4u2
At least there is no journalist in the family!
9
posted on
08/12/2008 11:50:51 AM PDT
by
verity
("Lord, what fools we mortals be!")
To: verity
"At least there is no journalist in the family!"
Hey - they do have SOME standards! :-)
10
posted on
08/12/2008 11:53:18 AM PDT
by
Hegemony Cricket
(Vigilantism will arise where the justice system is viewed as overly lenient and/or ineffective.)
To: jmpmstr4u2
11
posted on
08/12/2008 11:55:29 AM PDT
by
Phlap
(REDNECK@LIBARTS.EDU)
To: jmpmstr4u2
Answer’s to the name of “Lucky”.
12
posted on
08/12/2008 11:58:59 AM PDT
by
pvoce
To: jmpmstr4u2; Slings and Arrows; Daffynition; Darksheare; Lakeshark; Allegra; restornu; PhilDragoo; ..
13
posted on
08/12/2008 12:29:18 PM PDT
by
Lady Jag
(The trouble isn't that there are too many fools, but that the lightning isn't distributed right)
To: the anti-liberal
You sure you didn’t fall into the sar(chasm)?
14
posted on
08/12/2008 12:33:20 PM PDT
by
badbass
To: Lady Jag; SunkenCiv; Slings and Arrows
To: badbass
No, I got the sarcasm - but the very fact that all of that listed exists says something.
To: Lady Jag
Only item left out were the Mormons...
17
posted on
08/12/2008 12:44:33 PM PDT
by
Daffynition
(The quieter you become the more you can hear.)
To: the anti-liberal
Having a bad day?
Bubble bath, glass of wine and favorite music on the stereo tends to cure that...
18
posted on
08/12/2008 1:06:30 PM PDT
by
Allegra
(Goodness me, goodness me, industrial disease...)
To: jmpmstr4u2
19
posted on
08/12/2008 1:07:48 PM PDT
by
reagan_fanatic
("And how can this be? For I am the Kwisatz Haderach! " - Barack Obama)
To: Lady Jag; MeekOneGOP; Conspiracy Guy; DocRock; King Prout; Darksheare; OSHA; martin_fierro; ...
20
posted on
08/12/2008 1:10:41 PM PDT
by
Slings and Arrows
(~ ~ FREE LAZAMATAZ! ~ ~ [Shipping and handling charges may apply.])
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