DUmmie FUnnies 08-10-08 (DUmmies Ashamed of US Winning in the Olympics)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | 8/10/2008 | 28erl, DUmmies, and Paul Heinzman

[Paul Heinzman]

The summer games are underway in Beijing after no small amount of debate over whether the United States should participate due to China's human rights violations. That debate is over now, but controversy continues. Foreign journalists have gotten a first-hand taste of China's Internet restrictions, one American tourist was murdered and another injured by a Chinese madman who then killed himself, and three Americans protesting religious oppression have been detained and then ejected from the country.

However, for some DUmmies, the real controversy is how doggone good the United States is at winning medals, as you will see in this DUmmie THREAD titled "olympic medals - does anyone else finding it embarassing to take so many."

So let's take a break from counting Michael Phelps's gold medals to watch the DUmmies lament America's awesomeness in Bolshevik red with the comments of your humble guest narrator, Paul Heinzman, in the [brackets].

olympic medals - does anyone else finding it embarassing to take so many

[It's right up there with misspelling embarrassing.]

we walk in with a 'crowd' and then seem surprised to get so many - it would be nice if some of the other 240 counties that are smaller got some - it always seems like a gang shows up when we walk in and then so many have to say USA USA - I mean - I just find it like the 'gang' is here and we are taking over - what are your thoughts? I know republics like the gangs and bullies to take over everything so they like being king of the mountain all the time - I just feel like others should get a turn more often

[Every game should end in a tie. That way, everybody wins.]

I know I got sick of winning all of mine that's for sure.

[Olympic pizza eating?]

no. i like winning. and i like winning in olypmics. sorry.

[Even if it makes everyone else feel bad?]

...and this is why I always supported the idea of sending ONLY collegiate competitors from the U.S. to participate. We try to turn it into a celebration of U.S. dominance in the world and we are rightly resented for it. I find it hard to root for the U.S. in any olympic competition.

[May we question your patriotism now?]

Yes, the Olympics should be a celebration...   
...a celebration of good clean spirited international competition and camaraderie. Not an effort on the part of the U.S. to take advantage of its relative size and dominance in so many sports to carry off a gargantuan medal haul every four years. This could be achieved by sending collegiate athletes instead of professionals.

[We'd still win more than anyone.]

What professionals do we send besides Basketball and if you haven't noticed the NBA has been globalized with players from all over world who are playing for their home countrys. Not to mention that Basketball is just one metal. What other sports do we have pros in? Football, nope. Baseball, nope. Guess what, that it. Those are the pro sports. Take your head out of your ass.

[You win the gold medal Kewpie doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

What part of "collegiate athletes" do you not understand, Sidney?
 
[Since Sidney is probably a professional college student, my money's on the "athlete" part.]

And what kind of belligerent jackass gets worked up over a topic like this?

[Just about any DUmmie.]

The American empire is dying in case you hadn't noticed, genius. Don't guess that matters though -- as long as we can stomp Panama in thumb wrestling and pull down the gold. USA NUMBER ONE!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!

[It's "USA! USA! USA!"]

The young pros in the soccer tournament are often far better than the young men we can send, for example.

[Imagine the outcry when the United States finally wins a World Cup.]

I guess that is the part I feel - it isn't just a competition of athletes but the attitude of dominance - I do root for the people and yes I like to see how someone acts when they win - some are more gracious than others - I am not saying we should run slower, etc as someone else mentioned but we seem to have the funds to send more - some of these countries have good athletes but not the training facilities or opportunities - doing their best is nice - but it is that American arrogance - I remember when I traveled in europe I stayed away from some Americans because it was embarrassing the way they acted - that holier than thou stuff - I find that same thing with republics - they act like they are holy and great and yet so many are in the closet or infidelity but you would think the dems were the only ones when in actuality - those most against something are usually guilty -

[If there were a writing competition in the Twit Olympics, you'd take the gold.]

In 1980 we won zero

[Not in the Summer, but in the winter there was one that ended in the chant "USA! USA! USA!" that was particularly displeasing to Will Pitt.]

Jimmy Carter made them wear sweaters to save energy and they were slowed down by it!

[BLASPHEMER!]

I don't know why any American whould be surprised - it's a big sports-obsessed country that gives out university scholarships just for being good at a sport.

[Yes, these kids who bring millions of dollars in revenue to universities should get nothing and like it.]

That is literally the stupidest f*cking thing I've read all day, and there are about 600 Edwards threads competing for that title.

[That's saying a lot considering this is DU.]

This isn't the Kumbayalympics.

[It's the DUmmie FUnnies.]

Hell, let's get rid of the contest and everyone can get a gold medal!

[Everybody gets a medal!]

But what would we call it?
Special Olympics is already taken....

[We'll call it the Oprahlympics.]

If there was ever a post that validates the RW stereotype of liberals, this is it

[And we have noticed.]

Is there any representation of this country which doesn't embarrass you?

[Just Democratic Underground.]

[FredZarguna]

[MEG33]

LOVE IT!

[FredZarguna]

In 1980 we won zero

[Not in the Summer, but in the winter there was one that ended in the chant "USA! USA! USA!" that was particularly displeasing to Will Pitt.]

[That bicycle pileup you just watched was the beginning of the Fourth American Empire].

[wastedyears]

No, I don’t compete in anything, but I’ve ridden enough to know that the elements are not friendly to a bike. Can’t stop when the rims are wet.

[wastedyears]

Who’s the guy with 7 gold medals?

[PJ-Comix]

[Olympic pizza eating?]

A sport in which I will be participating in just about 10 minutes. Right now I have a large DiGiorno supreme pizza cooking in the oven. And there is just one thing better than a $1.50 large DiGiorno Supreme pizza. That is a $1.25 large DiGiorno pizza. Bought a few of them yesterday for that price at my secret market.

[wastedyears]

I’ve never had road rash, but I’ve been in a couple of crashes and I had pedal bite plenty of times. I have a scar roughly the size of a dime on my shin from pedal bite I got around 10 years ago.

[Roscoe Karns]

Mark Spitz won 7 in ‘72.

[Roscoe Karns]

Still at it I see. LOL!

[wastedyears]

Thanks

[Paul Heinzman]

PJ! PJ! PJ!

Go for the gold.

[FredZarguna]

I Don’t think I’ve ever had this much comedy material in a presidential cycle — and it isn’t even Labor Day.

[FredZarguna]

Spitz was the source of enormous unintentional comedy in what he hoped would be his showbiz debut on the old Sonny and Cher Show which boasted some very talented writers including Steve Martin. I still remember a bar skit where (according to the players present) Spitz had already forced 10 or 11 takes, and was finally almost through the scene. He only had to deliver his exit line: "Gotta go, I left my water wings double-parked outside." It was delivered as "I'll have a double water wings to go." The actors just fell out, and they decided to leave it in.

I don't think Spitz made any more television appearances after that.

[Paul Heinzman]

If there was ever a post that validates the RW stereotype of liberals, this is it

That should be worth a kewpie doll in my opinion

Yes, but he was IATKD.

[Purrcival]

we walk in with a 'crowd' and then seem surprised to get so many - it would be nice if some of the other 240 counties that are smaller got some - it always seems like a gang shows up when we walk in and then so many have to say USA USA

OK, that settles it. Winning is great, but whoever loses has to have a lowering of self-esteem. So let's level the playing field. From here on out, the US is only allowed to show up with 1/4 of our normal number of athletes, and the other countries get to choose which ones.

Oh, and by the way, DUmmies:

USA! USA! USA! USA!

[Paul Heinzman]

Michael Phelps is ready to take the “Most Embarassing American” title away from him.

He's making mako sharks look slow.< /hyperbole>

[Purrcival]

I am not saying we should run slower, etc as someone else mentioned but we seem to have the funds to send more - some of these countries have good athletes but not the training facilities or opportunities...

Well, then, since we're going to cut down the size of our "gargantuan" squad to only 1/4 of the normal strength, that means we can donate that portion of the money that is used to fund their training to these other countries. There! That should do it.

From each according to his ability, to each according to his need, and all that...

[proudmilitarymrs]

“Yeah, hockey in 1980 was particularly nice when we beat the Soviets.”

Oh my gosh, I remember sitting in the living room with my Dad (the retired Chief)when Team USA won the hockey gold

“Take that ya commie basta*ds”.

Good for Dad, good for the USA.

mrs

[Purrcival]

it would be nice if some of the other 240 counties...

"Counties"? The Olympics goes all the way down to the county level now? That would be one massive "Parade of Athletes" during the Opening Ceremony!

[Purrcival]

Even if there is still some sanity among some of the DUmmies on this thread, there is still enough wussiness that makes it FUn to watch them DUke it out. Plus, you never know how many of the posters are actually Lousy Freeper Trolls!