DUmmie FUnnies 08-10-08 (DUmmies Ashamed of US Winning in the Olympics)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | 8/10/2008 | 28erl, DUmmies, and Paul Heinzman

[Paul Heinzman]

The summer games are underway in Beijing after no small amount of debate over whether the United States should participate due to China's human rights violations. That debate is over now, but controversy continues. Foreign journalists have gotten a first-hand taste of China's Internet restrictions, one American tourist was murdered and another injured by a Chinese madman who then killed himself, and three Americans protesting religious oppression have been detained and then ejected from the country.

However, for some DUmmies, the real controversy is how doggone good the United States is at winning medals, as you will see in this DUmmie THREAD titled "olympic medals - does anyone else finding it embarassing to take so many."

So let's take a break from counting Michael Phelps's gold medals to watch the DUmmies lament America's awesomeness in Bolshevik red with the comments of your humble guest narrator, Paul Heinzman, in the [brackets].

olympic medals - does anyone else finding it embarassing to take so many

[It's right up there with misspelling embarrassing.]

we walk in with a 'crowd' and then seem surprised to get so many - it would be nice if some of the other 240 counties that are smaller got some - it always seems like a gang shows up when we walk in and then so many have to say USA USA - I mean - I just find it like the 'gang' is here and we are taking over - what are your thoughts? I know republics like the gangs and bullies to take over everything so they like being king of the mountain all the time - I just feel like others should get a turn more often

[Every game should end in a tie. That way, everybody wins.]

I know I got sick of winning all of mine that's for sure.

[Olympic pizza eating?]

no. i like winning. and i like winning in olypmics. sorry.

[Even if it makes everyone else feel bad?]

...and this is why I always supported the idea of sending ONLY collegiate competitors from the U.S. to participate. We try to turn it into a celebration of U.S. dominance in the world and we are rightly resented for it. I find it hard to root for the U.S. in any olympic competition.

[May we question your patriotism now?]

Yes, the Olympics should be a celebration...   
...a celebration of good clean spirited international competition and camaraderie. Not an effort on the part of the U.S. to take advantage of its relative size and dominance in so many sports to carry off a gargantuan medal haul every four years. This could be achieved by sending collegiate athletes instead of professionals.

[We'd still win more than anyone.]

What professionals do we send besides Basketball and if you haven't noticed the NBA has been globalized with players from all over world who are playing for their home countrys. Not to mention that Basketball is just one metal. What other sports do we have pros in? Football, nope. Baseball, nope. Guess what, that it. Those are the pro sports. Take your head out of your ass.

[You win the gold medal Kewpie doll for having a brief moment of mental clarity.]

What part of "collegiate athletes" do you not understand, Sidney?
 
[Since Sidney is probably a professional college student, my money's on the "athlete" part.]

And what kind of belligerent jackass gets worked up over a topic like this?

[Just about any DUmmie.]

The American empire is dying in case you hadn't noticed, genius. Don't guess that matters though -- as long as we can stomp Panama in thumb wrestling and pull down the gold. USA NUMBER ONE!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!

[It's "USA! USA! USA!"]

The young pros in the soccer tournament are often far better than the young men we can send, for example.

[Imagine the outcry when the United States finally wins a World Cup.]

I guess that is the part I feel - it isn't just a competition of athletes but the attitude of dominance - I do root for the people and yes I like to see how someone acts when they win - some are more gracious than others - I am not saying we should run slower, etc as someone else mentioned but we seem to have the funds to send more - some of these countries have good athletes but not the training facilities or opportunities - doing their best is nice - but it is that American arrogance - I remember when I traveled in europe I stayed away from some Americans because it was embarrassing the way they acted - that holier than thou stuff - I find that same thing with republics - they act like they are holy and great and yet so many are in the closet or infidelity but you would think the dems were the only ones when in actuality - those most against something are usually guilty -

[If there were a writing competition in the Twit Olympics, you'd take the gold.]

In 1980 we won zero

[Not in the Summer, but in the winter there was one that ended in the chant "USA! USA! USA!" that was particularly displeasing to Will Pitt.]

Jimmy Carter made them wear sweaters to save energy and they were slowed down by it!

[BLASPHEMER!]

I don't know why any American whould be surprised - it's a big sports-obsessed country that gives out university scholarships just for being good at a sport.

[Yes, these kids who bring millions of dollars in revenue to universities should get nothing and like it.]

That is literally the stupidest f*cking thing I've read all day, and there are about 600 Edwards threads competing for that title.

[That's saying a lot considering this is DU.]

This isn't the Kumbayalympics.

[It's the DUmmie FUnnies.]

Hell, let's get rid of the contest and everyone can get a gold medal!

[Everybody gets a medal!]

But what would we call it?
Special Olympics is already taken....

[We'll call it the Oprahlympics.]

If there was ever a post that validates the RW stereotype of liberals, this is it

[And we have noticed.]

Is there any representation of this country which doesn't embarrass you?

[Just Democratic Underground.]

[Mr. Silverback]

Have you noticed how Bush being a cokehead (even though there’s no evidence of such a thing happening) and Bush’s drinking (even though he was able to quite cold turkey and has been sober for decades) is a big deal with the DUmmies, but Obama’s coke use (which definitely happened and has been admitted by him) is not a big deal at all?

[Choose Ye This Day]

Have you ever noticed that ONLY conservatives and ONLY Christians can be tagged as “hypocrites” by the DUmmies? That’s the biggest (and only) sin as seen by the left: being a hypocrite.

Somehow, I guess, the leftists are never hypocrites because they don’t have ethical standards or moral principles, I guess. (Even though Gore is a hypocrite about his own polluting ways, but Saint Albert never gets called on it.)

[dirtbiker]

Somebody’s endo is another thing you shouldn’t be bringing up on this board.

An "endo" has an entirely different meaning to a dirtbiker like myself.

FWIW, they ain't pretty (if they happen to you) and can be quite painful....

[Purrcival]

Yes, I have noticed that double standard. I’ve also noticed how they’ve been using Edwards’ pecadillo as an excuse to slip McCain’s 30-odd-year-old infidelity and divorce into the discussion.

Anyway, here’s something that debunks the Globe story:

http://rightwingnews.com/mt331/2008/08/the_globe_a_bush_and_laura_spl.php

[bcsco]

Maybe the Globe read this as a family split? From the link: "White House communications director Kevin Sullivan said the couple will split their time between Dallas and their ranch in Crawford." I.E. He at the ranch; her in Dallas...

Don't think so? Neither do I. Why print the truth when you can draw more sales by printing garbage?

[xtinct]

Individual achievement = reward = invention and excellence.

DUmmies don't quite fathom that a participation award doesn't add up to incentive - achievement - invention - excellence.

US athletes spend years training for their place on the Olympic Team. If the DUmmies want to hold a pity party for anybody, they can start with those American athletes who through small error or bad luck did not win a place on the team. Can you imagine being excellent and having a bad day at the US Olympic trials?

[Paul Heinzman]

Speaking of which, anything about the USA win over the French last night on the DU?

Nothing that I noticed. DUmmies aren't particularly good at categorizing stuff, so there are very few Olympics threads in the Sports forum; they are mostly scattered about in General Discussion and The DU Lounge.

[Paul Heinzman]

That show is still on? Ewww.

[Paul Heinzman]

Hey, frank, have you been following the rhubarb over at the DUmp between Maddy McCall and our favorite 30 year old spoiled brat xemasab? Had me in stitches when I saw it this morning.

[bcsco]

DUmmies aren't particularly good at categorizing stuff...

That's likely from a lifetime of pizza boxes and coke cans littered around the place. It you can't deal with that, how can you deal with forum organization?

[Roscoe Karns]

One more gold medal closer to taking the title of “Most Embarrassing American” with a win and a world record in 200m freestyle. Go Phelps!

[Purrcival]

Yep, I’m watching, too. Go, Michael! But can you believe THIS???

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2008/08/11/mark-spitz-needs-to-stop_n_118219.html

[Roscoe Karns]

He went to Athens 4 years ago. http://video.aol.com/video-detail/spitz-praises-phelps-for-olympic-wins/528424561

[Mr. Silverback]

That is really stupid.

[Category Four]

Do these idiots forget that before the fall of the Soviet Union they used to collect a hefty medal count at every Summer Olympics, beating us many times? Heck, we got beat in medal count by East Germany a couple of times.

See, here's the thing -- this was either A) before many of these DUmmies' time, or B) happened before they were old enough to remember. In either case, that's how these particular DUmmies operate -- they don't remember it, ergo it as good as didn't happen.

[BIV]

I was spading this thread (that’s a publishing term, like “black hole” is a term used by ****astronomers****) when I read your contribution. It contained the same words of wisdom and insight I was about to post.