Posted on 04/17/2008 10:56:22 PM PDT by writer33
Corpus ChristiIn what could be a new trend, a 36-year old conservative Texas man has had plastic surgery in order to join the Republican Party. After trying numerous kinds of unresponsive treatments, Corpus Christi native, Chris Davis, finally had his testicles reduced.
Chris had been claiming since 2004 that his testicles were far too large to be a member of the current Republican Party. He sought several different forms of therapy, including many sessions with a psychiatrist.
It was during the final session with his psychiatrist, Dr. Rick Muller, the name of Dr. Jim Balzack came up in their discussions.
Chris was seriously conflicted, stated Dr. Muller. He was having nightmares about Senator John McCain becoming President of the United States, as well as the out of control Congress.
Dr. Balzack is a renown name in plastic surgery, and the best in South Texas, specializing in male enhancement plastic surgeries.
I have to say it caught me off guard, claimed Dr. Balzack. You dont normally get patients that want this kind of elective surgery.
The doctor quickly arranged an appointment where different kinds of surgeries could be performed, including removal of Chriss testicles entirely.
Chris was adamant in keeping at least some of his testicles, said Dr. Balzack. He reminded me that he didnt want to join the Democratic Party.
So, during the eight hour surgery, the doctor reduced his testicles by half their normal size, giving Chris the treatment hed been seeking for over four years.
I think that Chris will be just fine. It wont be long before he quickly starts abandoning some of his conservative principles for a more populist view of America. Reaching out wont just be words in his vocabulary, it will be a way of life for him, explained Dr. Balzack. I think hell find voting for John McCain easier to stomach.
The surgery was so successful that Chris soon found employment at a local law firm. This was the best decision I ever made, Chris exclaimed. I used to worry about the future of the country, but now I just worry about corporate CEOs. I can honestly say now that come November Ill be ready to pull that lever for Senator McCain. I would recommend this for anyone who is in conflict. Ive even embraced the premise that Global Warming is a threat. Rush Limbaugh has got to try this!
Since the Chriss success story has emerged, conservatives of all shape have rushed to Dr. Balzacks clinic in order be a part of the current Republican Party.
Its really not all that bad, stated Dr. Balzack. Dont think of it as compromising your principles entirely. Think of it more along the lines of cutting some of em away.
Don't think there will be many in line for this procedure, but ya never know. LOL
Imagine the size of our Men's Testicles.....
Bwahahhaaaaaa!!!!
Bwahaha! A true classic, Chris!
“Dr. Jim Balzack”
Name context reminds me of Dr. Hillary Huma-Humpur.
LOL! FReeper humor BUMP!
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Very funny! Thanks for sharing.
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