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DUmmie FUnnies 06-09-06 ("Glad Zarqawi's Gone? Yes or No")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 9, 2006 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 06/09/2006 5:23:04 AM PDT by PJ-Comix

"Glad Zarqawi's Gone? Yes or No" seems like a pretty straightforward question but, as we shall see, a "Yes" answer in DUmmieland doesn't really mean a straight "Yes." The "Yes" in DUmmieland is frequently followed by a "But" so that the DUmmies qualify as what Laura Ingraham calls "But Monkeys." In fact there are FEW simple YES answers in DUmmieland which are not followed by numerous caveats by the But Monkeys. So let us now explore the Land of the But Monkeys with their "Yes...but" caveats in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, noting that the first of Laura Ingraham's But Monkeys yesterday commenting on Al-Zarqawi's death was Joe Biden talking out of both sides of his mouth as usual, is in the [brackets]:

Glad Zarqawi's Gone? Yes or No

[Yes...but.]

This is NOT a DU poll which will allow voters to hide. Bottom line, I want to prove that a large percentage of DUers are glad Zarqawi is no longer on the planet. DUers who are glad Zarqawi's gone please indicate by a simple "yes". The "unglad" indicate with a "no". Please,for the purpose of this experiment, no opinions, just vote yes or no.

[It's not that simple in DUmmieland. Any "Yes" answer NEEDS to be followed by a "But" or some other caveat.]

You are wrong. The answer can not be a "yes" or a "no" because neither answer means anything. I know in your mind it means something, but to anyone that thinks about it for more than a knee jerk split second, you realize that the question is completely pointless.

"Yes, I'm glad" means you are glad we started this war and killed so many people in the bloody pursuit of Osama, Saddam, Zarqawi, (whomever is next).

"No, I'm not glad" seems to mean one is rooting for the official enemy, but does it really mean that? Or does it simply mean that your not glad we are involved in this illegal war in the first place, and they have no other option to say that other than "No."?

Who friggin' knows, because the question is so stupid to begin with.

[One way to avoid becoming a But Monkey is REFUSING to answer the question in the first place.]

Yes, but disgusted that we used an airstrike to kill one man.

[And DUmmie KyuzoGator becomes the FIRST But Monkey on this thread!]

Yes, yes, a thousand times yes.

[LOUSY FREEPER TROLL!!!]

Yes. Glad that he's out of action, but not glad about his death.

[Apparently DUmmie But Monkeys like dining on angst over the death of this murderous thug.]

No. We knew where he was, we should have taken him into custody and hauled him before the court. We used to be a nation based on LAW, now we are the wild west and killing for expediency rahter than worrying about the mess of prosecution...

[No Buts about this No. This DUmmie wished we had frogwalked Zarqawi from his safe house into the arms of waiting lawyers.]

If he really is dead, yes. But I am not ready to believe the story.

[And another But Monkey hops into the tree.]

we had the ability to take him alive and should have done so. We could've learned a lot more that way, as long as we didn't torture him because that would be wrong too.

[And it would have been really really wrong to torture him with air conditioning set at a freezing 68 degrees like we do to the Gitmo detainees.]

Yes, but still have questions about the official story.

[The official story is that you are now a But Monkey. Now go grab a banana and hop into the tree.]

The purpose of this exercise is to get a more accurate indicator of where DU stands on Zarqawi's demise. We're getting visitors to this website who are posting claims contrary to the results we're getting so far.

[Wrong. I am a visiting Zoologist to your site merely cataloging your large collection of But Monkeys.]

Yes, but it won't make any difference

[Is that you, Joe Biden?]

Glad he's gone, but a trial would have been a lot more effective.

[Another overly legalistic But Monkey. Up into the tree for you, feller.]

Not crying any tears for him, but just like when they killed Pablo Escobar, will it change anything?

[Up into the tree, But Monkey, and enjoy La Cocaina.]

Makes No Difference. If Bush thinks this will help his approval rating, it won't with me. Too much has happened. Even if they suddenly killed bin Laden it would make no difference. Bush has proven over & over again that he's a fascist. It's too late for him.

[And it's too late for you to play with the But Monkeys.]

Of course the mouth-breathing, blood-thirsty right wingers will consider this as a springboard to a midterm victory, and we will see this coverage trotted out daily, with generous doses of "Hooray for our side"..

[Too bad Zarqawi wasn't killed a couple of days earlier just before the California elections. That way the DUmmies would have provided us with ENORMOUS entertaiment with conspiracty theories about how the death of Zarqawi was really a Rovian plot to affect the outcome of those elections.]

Yes but I don't feel any safer and whatever happened to Bin 'forgotten' and bringing him in dead or alive.

[A banana for you and up into the But Monkey tree.]

Yes.... but it's not that straightforward... Well.. almost. I do wish they had captured him, instead of killed, because it's too easy to make him a martyr by killing him. I'd rather see him brought to justice in a less spectacular fashion. Showing photos of his dead body today, as with the bodies of Saddam's sons, makes me cringe because it's so much like what the insurgents have been doing to us... and the world has recoiled in horror because of it. If the choice of having him loose instead of killed, I'd choose killed... but I fear that his death like this will only fuel the hatred of us more and the insurgency against our troops. In a country, like the US, that does not deal in martyrdom, it's easy to believe that having him dead will somehow improve things, but in the radical fundamentalist circles over in the Middle East, death is an honor and a reason for them to fight harder in his memory.

[And you need to go straightforward into the But Monkey tree.]

No. Give me a good reason why I should be glad.

[I won't even try.]

No would be my answer since morbidity is not my game. I never even knew the guy.

[Who knows? You could have even become pals with Al-Zarqawi and gone fishing with him.]

No. I don't condone killing, period. This was done in my name, with my money, which makes me complicit in something I find morally repugnant.

[Zarqawi, We Hardly Knew Ye.]

We get important visitors to our site and it would be a shame if they got the idea that a large percent of DUers somehow supported the Iraq insurgency. Freepers would love to create that idea.

[We get a lot of visitors to the DUmmie FUnnies and YOUR OWN WORDS give them the idea that the DUmmies need to be institutionalized.]

The blogosphere will know where DUers stand on Zarqawi. The results of this poll cannot be twisted by lurkers into supposed support for Zarqawi.

[The results of this poll will show that DUmmieland is full of But Monkeys.]

If I put the same question to Sen.Feingold, Boxer, Clinton, Kerry, Durbin, Byrd or Kennedy they would have no problem answering "yes".

[You mean "Yes...but" since they are But Monkeys.]

No. (Death is not punishment.) You have to actually be ALIVE to appreciate the fact that you're being punished. Once you're dead, you no longer care... you're dead!

[DUmmie illogic at its finest...and FUnniest.]

I am never happy when somebody dies. I don't care HOW "evil", or bad, or what a criminal, this guy was. I'm not going to cheer his death, when what we should have done, was get him ALIVE and put him on trial.

[I bet you would be OVERJOYED if any one of a large number of EVIL rightwingers dies. And NO TRIAL for them. STRAIGHT the guillotine!]

Neither yes or no.

[The Hamlet of DUmmieland forcefully speaks his mind.]

Glad??? HELL NO!!! Bushler&Co. royally f*cked up again, just for good PR. We should have CAPTURED him to get INFORMATION then publicly TRIED him for all of his crimes so the VICTIMS could have a chance to face him and scream bloody murder at him. Also, how many children were killed by the two 500 lb. bombs? More 'collateral damage' just so Bushler could get a bump in the polls?

[No But Monkey banana for you.]

No. Murder is never the answer to any problem. I'm a Buddhist.

[Is that you, Richard Gere?]

Yes, but I don't think it will make any difference as far as stopping the violence.

[Grab the banana and hop up into the But Monkey tree.]

If I have to pick, I'll say yes. He's a terrorist. But as I said on another thread, there will only be more Al-Zarqawis. If Bush didn't foolishly invade Iraq, it might be more meaningful.

[Take a meaningful banana and carry it into the But Monkey tree.]

Wouldn't it had been more fun to capture him alive and forced him to pose nude??

[A But Monkey of a different species replies.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: alzarqawi; butmonkeys; dummies; lauraingraham
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To: ConservativeMind

Welcome aboard, PINGEE #875.


141 posted on 06/09/2006 11:25:35 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: skimask; PJ-Comix; Charles Henrickson; franksolich

"Word got out that Fritz was about to have him testify before a grand jury in the Plame affair. "

Speaking of which...how many "business hours" has it been since Jason Leopold reported that Rove had been indicted on May 12, after a 15-hour marathon session at Patton Boggs, where he was told that he had "24 business hours" to get his affairs in order?


142 posted on 06/09/2006 11:29:16 AM PDT by Purrcival (This FReeper is totally GLAD that scumbag Zarqawi is DEAD, DEAD, DEAD.)
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To: franksolich
Warm up the virgins...


143 posted on 06/09/2006 11:34:58 AM PDT by Purrcival (This FReeper is totally GLAD that scumbag Zarqawi is DEAD, DEAD, DEAD.)
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To: Charles Henrickson; franksolich
Pitt can also be found here...seems he has a friend who voted for Bush but is now a full-blooded moonbat. Imagine that! Pitt the Pontificator is also a converter of lost souls. I see not everyone on this thread is a Pitt fan as it appears someone's post has been deleted....hmmmmm.

http://www.democraticunderground.com/discuss/duboard.php?az=view_all&address=364x1391251#1391522

Cindie

144 posted on 06/09/2006 11:41:23 AM PDT by gardencatz ("Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try." Homer Simpson)
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To: Purrcival
Basically for me. Somehow it seems better to have a cleanly severed head flying though the air, landing on the ground next to a pig, and blinking its eyes a few times as consciousness slowly faded from it.

Or maybe, remember in the Zorro movie where Zorro flicked his blade across a candle, and it didn't move? The evil commandante laughed, then Zorro tipped it over, showing the candle had been cleanly severed? How about that? The head cut off, but only slow leakage from the arteries so that he maintained consciousness for a long time?

So messy the other way, don't you think. Besides, I wouldn't want to hear his pleas for mercy or his yelling as he realized there would be none.

It's a good thing that I am not a Catholic. I'd have to do some serious penance for the thoughts I've been having. Even as a Baptist I think Jesus is going to have some pointed words for me one day about them. But, frankly, I'm just glad he's dead, and being toasted like a marshmallow right now.
145 posted on 06/09/2006 11:42:33 AM PDT by chesley (Republicans don't deserve to win, but America does not deserve the Dhimmicrats.)
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To: franksolich
Some of them are on Scamdy, under the category "On the other hand....." but Scamdy quit collecting the "love threads" a long time ago, because we were in danger of having to absorb, digest, all of DUmmieland.

Yes, lots of good links to DUmmie love, tolerance, and virtue here:

http://scamdy.com/forum/html/viewforum.php?f=38&sid=8177facdc21a926474ccac332ad9f27e

Thanks!

146 posted on 06/09/2006 11:45:16 AM PDT by Purrcival (This FReeper is totally GLAD that scumbag Zarqawi is DEAD, DEAD, DEAD.)
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To: Purrcival
Speaking of which...how many "business hours" has it been since Jason Leopold reported that Rove had been indicted

A bunch. Maybe this is in DUmmie business hours, rather than regular business hours. As DUmmies are generally not employed at all, a Dummie business hour is very flexible, and can be stretched to meet any contingency. Especially when drugs are also involved.

147 posted on 06/09/2006 11:45:49 AM PDT by chesley (Republicans don't deserve to win, but America does not deserve the Dhimmicrats.)
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To: chesley

Heck, I'm a MethoBaptiPresbyCostal, and I may even have to say some "Hail Mary's" and "Our Father's" after this one!


148 posted on 06/09/2006 11:47:47 AM PDT by Purrcival (This FReeper is totally GLAD that scumbag Zarqawi is DEAD, DEAD, DEAD.)
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To: chesley
I'm a MethoBaptiPresbyCostal

...and that's only because I couldn't figure out a way to stick Christian & Missionary Alliance in there. Yep, I'm a spiritual "mutt".

149 posted on 06/09/2006 11:49:06 AM PDT by Purrcival (This FReeper is totally GLAD that scumbag Zarqawi is DEAD, DEAD, DEAD.)
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To: Purrcival
MethoBaptiPresbyCostal Is that Arminian or Calvinistic in theology?? LOL
150 posted on 06/09/2006 11:52:18 AM PDT by chesley (Republicans don't deserve to win, but America does not deserve the Dhimmicrats.)
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To: Purrcival

Yes. I saw that aas well.

And the DUmmies were outraged that what they said in a public forum would be broadcast on Rush's show.
I saw were one even proposed a "secret chat room" away from public view where they could express their true feelings, all the while posting watered down versions of thier venom in the public forums.

Of course this is how many of them are in real life anyhow.
Smiling and genial in public and raving nutters in private.


151 posted on 06/09/2006 12:02:51 PM PDT by mylife (The roar of the masses could be farts)
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To: chesley
Is that Arminian or Calvinistic in theology??

I dunno, I'm sooooooooooooo confused! :-D

152 posted on 06/09/2006 12:08:33 PM PDT by Purrcival (This FReeper is totally GLAD that scumbag Zarqawi is DEAD, DEAD, DEAD.)
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To: Purrcival; franksolich; PJ-Comix; confederacy of dunces; Poser; Cletus.D.Yokel; speed_addiction; ...
I'm reminded of this "blast from the past" that I wrote back on 9/29/01, when we were doing bombing runs over Afghanistan:

HELLO MULLAH, HELLO FATAH (CAMP OSAMA)
Tune: "Hello Mudduh, Hello Fadduh"

Hello Mullah,
Hello Fatah,
Here I am at
Camp Osama.
Camp is very
Entertaining,
And they say we'll have some fun in basic training.

I went bombing
With Mohammed.
He blew up like
Halley's comet.
No use going
To the surgeons,
There were parts of him enough for sixty virgins.

All the Sunnis
Hate the Saudis,
And the innies
Hate the outies,
But there's one thing
We agree on:
All the beds are awful hard to get to sleep on.

Camp looks nothing
Like the pictures
They showed us at
The recruiter's.
And the food is
Pretty rotten.
Guess it looks like I've been lied to by bin Laden.

Take me home,
Oh Mullah, Fatah!
Take me home,
I hate Osama.
Don't leave me
Out in Afghanistan
To find my ashes in a can.

Take me home,
I promise I won't
Pierce my ears
Or look at girls like
Britney Spears.
Oh, please don't make me stay,
I've been here one whole day.

I hear airplanes,
They're approaching. . . .
All our bases
Are exploding!
There's no hiding
From a bomber--
Must close quick now 'cause I'm leaving Camp Osama. . . .

Sixty maidens,
And they're virgin,
But a slightly
Different version:
They all look like
Janet Reno!
Mullah, Fatah, this is hell but how did we know?

153 posted on 06/09/2006 12:12:19 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (The wag tailoring the doggerel)
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To: Charles Henrickson

I will be DUFUing that PItt post plus another one sometime this weekend. HOWEVER, I will SOON (meaning today) be DUFUing a DUmmie thread about the most HILARIOUS story I've seen in a long time. Coming SOOON.....


154 posted on 06/09/2006 12:16:02 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix

>>>>The blogosphere will know where DUers stand on Zarqawi


Oh lighten up on the Shortbus DUmmies. They are actually less obnoxious then Congressmaggot Fortney Stark.


155 posted on 06/09/2006 12:17:27 PM PDT by .cnI redruM (The last President from VA named George was good too! Allen in 2008!)
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To: Charles Henrickson
I'm a Buddhist.

Smoking Buddha does not a Buddhist make.

156 posted on 06/09/2006 12:17:47 PM PDT by GOP_Raider (FR's token San Francisco Giants fan)
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To: Charles Henrickson

That was funny!


157 posted on 06/09/2006 12:19:25 PM PDT by .cnI redruM (The last President from VA named George was good too! Allen in 2008!)
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To: Charles Henrickson

"He's dead, Jim."

I hear airplanes,
They're approaching. . . .
All our bases
Are exploding!
There's no hiding
From a bomber--
Must close quick now 'cause I'm leaving Camp Osama. . . .

158 posted on 06/09/2006 12:19:38 PM PDT by shezza (God bless our military heroes)
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To: gardencatz

Will also be DUFUing that Pitt post later. Already have a pic for it.


159 posted on 06/09/2006 12:21:47 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: mylife
And the DUmmies were outraged that what they said in a public forum would be broadcast on Rush's show.

Link?

160 posted on 06/09/2006 12:23:37 PM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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