Posted on 12/05/2005 6:46:11 PM PST by PJ-Comix
Charles Henrickson has his work cut out for him with this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies. For you folks who are reading this DUmmie FUnnies edition only on the BlogSpot site, Charles Henrickson, a regular DUFU poster over at the Free Republic, is a multi-lingual (living and dead languages) Biblical scholar who, in slightly different circumstances could easily have been a Broadway song lyricist with his knack for tunesmithing. Many of his Free Republic comments on the DUFUs contain great song parodies. With this edition of the DUmmie FUnnies, his work (as well as Doug From Upland, another song parodyist) is cut out for him as we shall see in this sob story THREAD titled, "I cried my way into work today." The sob sister author is one DUmmie BigBearJohn sobbing over the Liberal Could Have Been in the form of a Donovan tune. But wait, there's MORE! < /Ron Popeil> Other DUmmies have also chimed in with their favorite wistful songs thus giving the EVIL Republican song parodyists plenty of great material to work with. As usual the songs of the DUmmies sung into the wind are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, Singing in the Rain, is in the [brackets]:
I cried my way into work today.
[SNIFF! Would you like to borrow a hankie, DUmmie BigBearJohn?]
I have been so swallowed up by the sins of this evil administration for the last 5 years, little did I realize that everything that was ever important to me was dying... I was drowning in a sea of bitterness, sarcasm, and cynicism surrounding me. Consumed with anger by everything happening in this nation, I had completely lost contact with who I am spiritually and find myself becoming jaded.
[Paradise Lost...November 2000. Never to return. BWAAAAAAAA!!!]
Last week I ordered an import CD of the music of "Donovan" and today I played it in my car for the first time in 30 years on way to work. It warmed my heart to hear his soothing voice but then, as he began the first refrain of "Catch the Wind" -- I completely lost it. His words reminded me of time of purity in my life. I started blubbering like an old fool... all the way from the bottom of my stomach... the tears kept coming and I couldn't stop them. It was as if God had just touched my shoulder to remind me of who I am and how far I had strayed from my original dreams.
[It was as if God had just touched your shoulder to remind you of what a Hippie you still are and how far you strayed from sanity.]
“In the chilly hours and minutes,
Of uncertainty, I want to be,
In the warm hold of your loving mind.
To feel you all around me,
And to take your hand, along the sand,
Ah, but I may as well try and catch the wind.
When sundown pales the sky,
I wanna hide a while, behind your smile,
And everywhere I'd look, your eyes I'd find.
For me to love you now,
Would be the sweetest thing, 'twould make me sing,
Ah, but I may as well, try and catch the wind.
When rain has hung the leaves with tears,
I want you near, to kill my fears
To help me to leave all my blues behind.
For standin' in your heart,
Is where I want to be, and I long to be,
Ah, but I may as well, try and catch the wind.”
[Mr. Henrickson (and Doug From Upland): Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to write a parody song based on DUmmie BigBearJohn's obsession with his faded dream of the Age of Aquarius long gone. Should you or any of your Mission Impossible Team be caught or captured, the Secretary will disavow any knowledge of your Birkenstock sandals.]
In the movie "Brother Sun, Sister Moon" -- The film culminates, visually and thematically, with St. Francis's audience with Pope Innocent III in Rome. Barefooted and dressed in rags, St. Francis enter a scene of impossible majesty and splendor, the papal court arrayed on either side of the massive hall in sumptuous colored garments, the mile-high ceiling sparkling with jewels set in gold. In the film's most stunning moment we see lavishly tiled steps, the perspective flattened to create the effect of an intricately tiled wall, down which the pope descends, clad in white, as if from heaven. "Is it not possible, Holy Father, to live according to the teachings of our Lord? Or have we sinned through presumption? If that be the case, then we would like your Holiness to tell us of our errors." The pope replies: "My dearest son, errors will be forgiven. In our obsession with original sin we too often forget original innocence. Don't let that happen to you. … We are encrusted with riches and power. You in your poverty put us to shame." With tears in his eyes, the Pope kneels down and kisses the feet of St. Francis.
[DUmmies get all teary eyed over religion...until they bash it.]
I will NEVER allow this world to bring me back to that state of darkness. Love IS the answer.
[DUmmie BigBearJohn: A St. Francis of Assisi wannabee.]
Lyrics from "Brother Sun, Sister Moon" by Donovan
[Good. More parody material.]
If you want your dream to be
Build it slow and surely.
Small beginnings, greater ends.
Heartfelt work grows purely.
"If you want to live life free,
Take your time, go slowly.
Do few things, but do them well.
Simple joys are holy.
Day by day, stone by stone,
Build your secret slowly.
Day by day, you'll grow, too,
You'll know heaven's glory."
Focus on the light; the only power evil has is that which it steals from Goodness.
[Wouldn't that be "Focus on the right? And now more tunes from other DUmmie Hippies.]
I sometimes play Riki Tiki Tavi when I feel depressed and helpless.
[Me? I just play chopsticks on the piano when I'm blue.]
It is very difficult for people of our country to love other people on this earth. Even though it is the Christian thing to do. Even though the great majority of their ancestors came from somewhere else on this earth.
[That's because people here are uniquely EVIL.]
That happened to me right after the 'election' of 2004 I was just driving along, minding my own business, when all of a sudden the realization of what this meant came shattering down on me. The first time in my life I've truly felt completely without hope. Without a future for my kids. Without the future of the human race. I'm back in denial mode now, so I feel much better....
[And being in the denial mode makes you feel much better knowing that Al Gore is President in the Alternate Universe.]
When you learn about Saint Francis, you come to realize what a beautiful human being he was. A truely spiritual person.....a hero of his time, and it would be so good if he were a hero of our present time as well.
[And if St. Francis were to come back, most DUmmies would denounce him as a religious zealot.]
I know exactly how you feel and I have been so full of despair these past 5 years. If you can get back to joy, that is wonderful. I have not found a way to do that, and our future seems so hopeless to me.
[Meds would help.]
Thanks for sharing. It comes at a time when I think many of us are going through what you are feeling and need a little help getting back into who we really are, away from all the evil swirling around us. It becomes too much, sometimes and can eat away at one's soul.
[Thanx for sharing your Hippie Obsession with the LOST Age of Aquarius.]
In the 70's we all imagined the 21st century to be a bright, shining, hopeful place. It seemed like humanistic values, higher ideals, and a general tide towards goodness would emerge.
[A bright, shining, hopeful place PURGED of all conservatives.]
Somethings happening here, what it is ain't exactly clear...
[Something is happening here...Unfavorable election results.]
Corruption around us is wearying. It exhausts the soul. But it can't break our soul... if we don't let it. You are reaching out for the things that comfort you and give you peace. Whether it's your faith, your spirituality, your family, friends, music, nature, the good things are around you.
[Evil corrupt Republicans. Unlike the moral purity of the Democrats.]
We all need a break from this nightmare.
[Enter the Alternate Reality Zone where John Kerry was inaugurated on Jan. 20.]
The holidays/ holy-days are here, why not reach out to someone or something less fortunate? Adopt a kitten or pup. Bring food for an elderly person. Help feed a family in need? Volunteer your time and energy?
[I adopted a cockroach. Named it Ralph. We have already bonded. Waaaaah!]
Giving to others is a great way to reaffirm our dreams and ideals. It strikes a blow against materialism and corruption. It nourishes the soul.
[And wards off EVIL Republicans.]
Peace brother-
[Groovy man!]
There's something happening here
What it is ain't exactly clear
There's a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware
I think it's time we stop, children, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong
Young people speaking their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind
I think it's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
What a field-day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly say, hooray for our side
It's time we stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
You step out of line, the man come and take you away
We better stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, hey, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, now, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
Stop, children, what's that sound
Everybody look what's going down
[I sort of prefer the "Billy Jack" theme song.]
Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the flowers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the flowers gone?
Girls have picked them every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?
Where have all the young girls gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the young girls gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the young girls gone?
Taken husbands every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?
Where have all the young men gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the young men gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the young men gone?
Gone for soldiers every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the soldiers gone?
Gone to graveyards every one
When will they ever learn?
When will they ever learn?
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time passing
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Long time ago
Where have all the graveyards gone?
Covered with flowers every one
When will we ever learn?
When will we ever learn?
[Love power. I'm talking about love power.
The power of a sweet flower is gonna rule the earth.
And there'll be a great rebirth.
Love is a flower that is fine.
When I'm walkin' with my darlin' and we're holding hands,
and life is fine, 'cause she understands.
'A walking down the sunny street
givin' pretty flowers to the people that we meet.
And I give a flower to the big fat cop,
he takes his club and he beats me up.
I give a flower to the garbage man,
he stuffs my girl in the garbage can.
And I give it to the landlord, when the rent comes 'round.
He throws it in the toilet and he flush it down.
It goes into the sewer with the yuck running through her,
And it runs into the river that we drink.
Hey world, you stink!
Ah, man it's later than you think
Girl you got just one more chance.
Come on baby, while I dance.
Love, love power.
I'm talking 'bout love power
The power of a little flower.
You don't think 'bout no little flowers,
Oh no, all you think about is guns.
If everybody in the world today had a flower instead of a gun,
there would be no wars. There would be one big smell-in.
Just the flowers. Hey, man, a flower.
A flower. What you do to my flower, man?
You hurt it, like everything else.
Everything else. Flowers.]
I am with you! We are all here together. We all share the same disconnect between what is and what could have been. But it is not too late. As long as you can breathe you can dream and as along as you can dream you have the potential to make your dreams real.
- another child of the '60s
[Another child, period.]
Never give up. My boss would like me to get a haircut. All my heroes were/are radicals, all with long hair. I've ALWAYS had long hair growing up and let it get back there on occasion. Kids are growing their hair longer these days, it seems. There's hope.
[You're basing your hope on THAT? Cueball crewcuts were in until recently and now if some kid grows a half inch of hair you believe it will lead to Hippie Paradise Restored? Welcome to the Alternate Reality!][
I'm a kindred spirit.... I know how you feel. I've had these moments of pain and release myself over the past 5 years. How I long for tears of joy instead of sorrow and pain over what's happened to us. We're all in this together, and together we'll once again feel joy and bliss. When the yoke of this present govenment finally is lifted from our necks, I'll remember those whom I met, and felt like I do, the good folks at DU.
[Once the yoke of oppression by the EVIL Bush Regime is lifted, you can crawl out of your dark basement and back into the LIGHT again. It will be the DAWNING OF THE AGE OF AQUARIUS!!!]
I can't believe that was less than 30 minutes! I remembered that being a full-length feature. My, how perspective changes when you're no longer seven.
I wish I knew where most of them are. I don't remember which DUFUs have my parodies in them. I know I've done a few on these folk-hippie-type songs like "Where Have All the Flowers Gone?" and "Blowin' in the Wind."
Sometime if we can ever get a comprehensive list of links to all the DUFUs (over 14 months worth now), maybe I could take a quick glance at all of them and find my parodies and collect them.
Good gawd y'all, what have we wrought?? These people are completely insane. Do they really think their individual lives are actually any different from where they would be had someone else been elected differently?? (except safer from terrorism). Even if Kerry had won they would still be the sorry good for nothing basement dwellers they are today.
All the sweet, green money flowing down
Someone left the computer out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cause Mom took so long to save up for it
And she'll never have that job again
Oh, no!
</richardharris>
I'm full of good will and I just want to do some good in the world. Could we start a movement from this?
We're talking this morning via satellite from an undisclosed location with Number
One, head of operations for SMERSH. He agreed to be on our show on the
condition we not show his face. Good morning, Number One.
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A pleasure, Mr Russert.
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Our producer tells us, Number One, that you came here today because you
wanted to address the President of the United States and the American people. Is
that correct?
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That is correct, Mr Russert. We at SMERSH demand that President Bush resign
by noon tomorrow or we shall annihilate three of your major cities with nuclear
weapons.
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A very serious ultimatum, Number One.
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A deadly serious ultimatum, Mr Russert! A very deadly serious ultimatum, Indeed!
Bwahahahahahaha! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
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Forgive me for interrupting , but we seem to have temporarily lost our picture.
What?... We have our signal back? OK. Please continue, Number One.
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As I was saying , Mr Russert, your snippy little, election-stealing president must
leave by...
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Al Gore!? Is that you?
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Er, no, Tim, it's me, Number One. Remember?
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We can all see your face in our studio monitors, Al.
Well, that's our show. Remember, if it's Sunday, it's Meet the Press.
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HE PLAYED ON OUR FEARS!!
Got that right! Actually, there is nothing more lame/disgusting than an aging hippie, or any hippie for that matter.
I remember my first encounter with a liberal. It was 1977, college orientation, we were all sitting around a table giving brief bio's on ourselves. I followed some dipsy woman that claimed she "found herself". My first comment, after I gave my name was : "I have yet to 'find myself', I've never considered myself 'lost' to begin with....." The look from Dipsy could've been a real Kodak moment, if I had a camera....
(You would think after 40 years of "searching" these people would have "found" SOMETHING by now...)
There will be even more crying today (12/6), when they find out that the conspiracy charges against Tom Delay were dismissed yesterday.....
Can't wait for that DUFU!
It's called "menopause," sister.
No, no, no! It's called fishing using the 'catch and release' method. Poor person only feels pain for a very short time when they get hooked. We're humane though, we release them where they can continue to swim aimlessly around until they become fish food for the bigger fish.
It's from:
http://www.sorryeverybody.com/
A picture gallery of Americans offering apologies to the world for George Bush's re-election.
Maybe you should go thru your posts and collect them. One thing I'm thinking about for the future in the DUFU Podcast to to play various such parodies... After I figure out how to get them performed.
LOL!
MUST DUFU this. Last night Juan Williams was vehement in his denial that this means that the whole case against DeLay is going to collapse.
Holy cow! Say it isn't so!
"The only Riki Tiki Tavi I know is a story by Kipling".
I thought that also. I was trying to make the connection between the DUmmie and a Mongoose, but it did not compute. As far as I know, the Mongoose is a fairly fearless animal with a great deal of personal courage and a good basis in reality. This is not a description of a blubbering DUmmie.
When I first read the thread, I saw in my mind a picture of Scarlett O'Hara kneeling in a vacant field whispering "As God is my witness, I shall never go hungry again". Now there was a drama queen, this twit is just an wannabe.
Coffee on keyboard, coffee on monitor.
You'd think I'd learn.
"Meet George Jetson........."
Every day is a holy day. We aren't called to be Christians just once a year.
It's all about feeling good about yourself rather than making a difference.
You guys are hilarious! I can just picture that long haired DUmmie, crying in his car!
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