Obituary

Redneck World Magazine | 2004

[08morganl]

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend by the name of Common Sense who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. he will be remembered as having cultivated such value lessons as knowing when to come in out of the rain, why the early bird gets the worm and that life isnt always fair. Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (dont spend more than you earn) and reliable parenting stategies (adults, not kids, are in charge). His health began to rapidly deteriorate when well intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a six-year- old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after luch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer aspirin to a student; but, could not inform the parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion. Finally, Common Sense lost the will to live as the Ten Commandments became contraband; churches became business; and criminals recieved better treatment than their victims Common Sense finally gave up the ghost after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot, she spilled a bit in her lap, and was awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death by his parents, Truth and Trust, his wife, Discretion; his daughter, Responsibilty; and his son, Reason. He is survived by two stepbrothers; My Rights and Ima Whiner. Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone. If you still know him pass this on, if not join the majority and do nothing.

[08morganl]

Maybe if we can refer enough people to this and get enough people to pass it on again after that, then we might be able to resuscitate him.

[Jo Nuvark]

[...maybe we can resuscitate him?...}

Then he would only be "mostly" dead. I'm so sorry, my fingers were working faster than my common sense.

Good post.

[08morganl]

better than completly dead

[Jo Nuvark]

First Post?

[Jo Nuvark]

Welcome to Free Republic.