DUmmie FUnnies 06-13-05 ("What meds do you take?")

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | June 13, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

Are there any pharmacologists out there? I will probably need your professional help in sorting out the MANY mood-altering meds listed in this DUmmie THREAD titled, “What meds do you take? Since the DUmmies have been spending much of their time escaping into an alternate reality, it is interesting to see what powerful drugs they have to ingest to accomplish this task. For example, I am figuring that it must take some POWERFUL acid to alter the DUmmie mind to the extent that they BEEEELEEEEEVE that John Kerry was inaugurated on Jan. 20. High drug dosage is so common in DUmmieland that I am surprised they haven’t established a DUmmie Pharmacy to distribute the meds necessary to enter their own alternate reality. The only “med” your humble correspondent takes currently (other than prescription blood pressure pills) is the non-prescription and VERY SMOOOOOTH slow aged Flor de Caña rum. Perhaps the DUmmies should think of switching to Flor de Caña rum. Not only would they pleasantly mellow out, but a few of them might actually relax enough to get a slight bit of common sense in their system. So let us now view the pharmacologically mind-altered DUmmie posts in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, anxiously awaiting the warm glow of his evening dosage of slow aged Flor de Caña, is in the [brackets]:

What meds do you take?

[As mentioned above, only a couple of glasses of slow aged Flor de Caña rum per evening. Right now my “prescription” is for the 7 year old rum but perhaps someday I will become worthy enough qualify for the 12 year old Flor de Caña rum or maybe, just maybe, I can even think about aspiring to the 18 year old Flor de Caña rum. However, let us now view the LOOONG list of mind altering meds you DUmmies are desperately ingesting to kill the pain of our current REPUBLICAN reality.[

Don't answer if it is too personal; I understand. I have some Clonazepam on hand for when I get asthma/anxiety attacks. .5 mg is very weak... but I'm rocking 2 of the suckers right now so I'm at 1mg as we speak. Fairly relaxing since it is a benzodiapene.

[When the pain of seeing George W. Bush in the White House becomes too great, just pull the axe off the wall and break open that emergency bottle of benzodiapene.]

here we go... i hate drug names... so... unfriendly...minocycleine so i dont get all pimple-y and zyrtec so i can breathe during the months where everythign isnt frozen over.

[Zyrtec is also great for helping you to perform simple body functions during the months when your mind is frozen over.]

I take tons of medicine.Here's the list: Paxil for depression,Xanax for anxiety/panic attack,Dalmane to sleep,Ventolin for asthma,Trazodone as anti-depressor and sleeping aid and Advair for asthma.Plus some generic painkillers for chronic pain.I'm only 37 but my grand father who is over a 100 is in better shape than me.Pretty depressing isn't it.

[May I forward that EXTENSIVE med list over to Pied Piper Pitt since he hasn’t slept since April due to extreme anxiety over defrauding his fellow DUmmies by cheerleading them into donating to Andy Stephenson’s non-existent pancreatic cancer operation?]

Oh geez, where to begin. I am an exercise in polypharmacy.

Synthroid for hypothyroidism
Topamax for mood stabilization and migraine
prophylaxis
Verapamil for migraine prophylaxis
Imitrex and Amerge PRN as migraine abortives
Vicodin PRN as a migraine rescue med
Percocet PRN for menstrual cramps
I also take various OTCs as needed and daily vitamin/mineral/other supplements.

[Perhaps you should simply cover your body with a giant prophylaxis to blot out the unpleasant reality of a REPUBLICAN White House, Congress, and Judiciary.]

just a handful
Diclofenac--arthritis prednisone--arthritis methtrexate—arthritis
Verapamil--blood pressure Dyrenium--water pill

[When Cheney is elected in ’08 you might want to consider adding cyanide to that list.]

migraine & allergy meds:
migraine prophylaxis:
singulair (normally prescribed for asthma, which i do not have)
petadolex (an herb)
co-q10
migraine prn:
zomig (i rotate between zomig and imitrex when my body adjusts)
stadol (narcotic, only if zomig fails)
allergy prophylaxis:
nasonex
allergy prn:
semprex-d

[Methinks that on Election Night of 2008, you’re going to have to TRIPLE your med dosage for migraine.]

methadone- 60-70mg daily for chronic pain
flexeril- 50-60mg daily
prednisone- 10mg every other day
ambien- occasionaly for help sleeping

[Methadone? Isn’t that a med that is supposed to substitute for heroin? In any case, I think you will be shooting up heroin directly into your arm on Election Night 2008 in an attempt to kill the pain. But don’t worry. Susan Estrich will be in even WORSE shape than you.]

I'm sure if I went and got checked out I'd be prescribed half a dozen or so medications for depression and anxiety, but I prefer to wallow in my own misery.

[That’s the spirit! Face the incredible pain of this country’s dominant conservatism without resorting to any of those pansy meds.]

I Got You All Beat:
Daily: Cozaar, Tolinase, Actos, Lasix, Lopid, Elavil, Buspar, Topamax, Vicodin, Lomotil, QVar, Atrovent, Albuteral
As Needed: Norco, Fiorinal, Maxalt, Imitrex Stat Dose, Phenergran, Ditropan, Rantidine, Flexeril, Soma
Often on: Cipro and/or Nitrofuratoin

[Braggart!]

Anti-depressants - for me - all seem to make sex less enjoyable, which in turn causes even more depression. Is this just me, or do other people experience the same thing? The problem here in the UK is that doctors are overworked and far less inclined to spend time tweaking meds until they get things just right for a patient, which I find incredibly frustrating

[But…but I thought Britain had this WONDERFUL nationalized health care system that all you DUmmies seem to be boosting! And now you tell me that the doctors in the UK nationalized health care system don’t have much time for their patients. I am so depressed hearing this that I need to pop a prozac.]

i was on Clonazepam, Trazadone, zoloft, valium, wellbutrian and several others. I had really bad depression after the birth of my child and my inlaws didn't help. They told me that I was crazy and making it up cause I wanted attention. I went to several docs and they had me drugged up. I was so high that I was almost drooling. I finally got sick of it all and quite all them. I really do need an anti-depressant but I am afraid to be a zombie again.

[Newsflash, DUmmie earthmama! You’re STILL drooling.]

I don't like the idea of being hooked on chemicals for life, basically. What if there's a terrorist attack/nuclear winter and I can't get it? What if there's a recall because it's really ruining my liver (or whatever)? I wish I could find some kind of natural remedy, or be cured or something. But it's way easier to take my medicine and be on to other things.

[My suggestion is to build a vast underground fallout shelter to store all your meds.]

Ziac (keeps my BP down) Cymbalta (an SSRI)
Gabapentin (add'l depression treatment)
Prevacid (keeps my gorge from rising, all you Shakespeare fans)
I used to take Vioxx. Rasser frasser... I now take Aleve and Tylenol as if they were M&Ms. I honestly don't know what I'd prefer -- increased risk of heart attack, or this f*cking pain.

[Look at the bright side of it, DUmmie bertha katzenengel. At least you are no longer a Vioxx addict. Now take two Tylenols to kill your “f*cking pain.”]

Duragesic, Lortab, Soma, Naproxen and Ambien...There's more. Can't remember them all for obvious reasons.

[The obvious reason being that your meds have killed your long and short term memory or would be able to produce your extensive med list.]

[mowowie]

Guess who's paying for most of these pills.

[Charles Henrickson]

ambien- occasionaly for help sleeping

Whenever I need help sleeping, I take a nice dose of Pittprolix.

[MamaB]

I have no medical background but I learned a whole lot more than I ever wanted to when our daughter was told she had Crohn's Disease. She died on 1/15/04 from complications of that. In some instances, we knew more than her doctors did because we did a lot of research on what she was taking and on Crohn's, too.

[Blue Jays]

Hi All-

Several of those dingbats listed "Soma" as a drug they're taking. That isn't even a real drug from legitimate pharmaceutical companies! It was a "mental vacation drug" featured in the popular book Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. The people in that book would pop Soma pills and then engage in casual sexual relations with a variety of partners.

Some of those Dummies are taking more than ten medications focused on sleeping/anxiety/panic/mood enhancement/depression. Holy cow, no wonder they're so messed-up in the head! They need to get out to the country, breathe some fresh mountain air, and detoxify themselves for two or three weeks. They might be able to get a grip on life afterwards.

~ Blue Jays ~

[MamaB]

My mother is 101. She hardly ever takes any kind of medications. She had a garden until she was in her early 80's. She was the next to the oldest of 11 or 12 kids and worked hard all those years. If she had a problem she knew that God would work it out!

Why were you so critical of the other poster? You do not know if she/he has any kind of health problems. Just hold judgement if you do not have all the facts.

[CAluvdubya]

This crew is too much! They post their meds as a badge of honor! I love this one:......

Lomotil

This one is divulging his/her bathroom problems! EEEWWWWW!

[Calusa]

I take tons of medicine.Here's the list:

What's really depressing is that I'm probably paying for his Buzz! Jack Daniels anyone?

[DocRock]

"What if there's a terrorist attack/nuclear winter and I can't get it?"

But I thought that terrorist threats were a Republican deception? Buhahahaha, our evil plan is working!/sarc

[MarineBrat]

Holy mackeral, they're taking Vicodin daily? I did that once after breaking my knee, and it turned me into a slug! Makes you DULL! I won't even pretend to know what all that other crap is.

Me, I have 3 advil once or twice per week when the yard work catches up with me. But that's because I have 1.2 acres of fruit trees, grass and vegetables. (Lots of Round-Up!)

[Calusa]

Lasix

My fiend Blanche took Lasix,but it just made her wanna horse around.

[bannie]

I think you've found the delineater between "them" and "us."

[netmilsmom]

>>Several of those dingbats listed "Soma" as a drug they're taking. That isn't even a real drug from legitimate pharmaceutical companies! It was a "mental vacation drug" featured in the popular book Brave New World by Aldous Huxley. The people in that book would pop Soma pills and then engage in casual sexual relations with a variety of partners.<<

I'm sure that when I worked in a Psych office, we had Soma in stock bottles. I think it is real.
Can anyone verify this?

[Calusa]

What if there's a terrorist attack/nuclear winter and I can't get it?

That's a skerry thought: 10s of Ks of DU-like zombies jonesing for meds roaming the swales of I-95.

[sporkgoddess]

Sheesh, I have a form of chronic functional dyspepsia and I take less medication than these guys.

[Eagle of Liberty]

And these are the same people rooting for......HOWARD DEAN!

makes sense.

[Calusa]

Something about medication contests that seem weird...

It's the next bump up for the cult of victimhood, the refugees from the invasion of SUVs run amuck seeking refuge in the tepid fluids of the womb. They see it as the tough get tougher....

[COBOL2Java]

Holy mackeral, they're taking Vicodin daily? I did that once after breaking my knee, and it turned me into a slug! Makes you DULL!

Someone needs to whip up a graphic: a pharmaceutical warning label that reads: "Warning: Continued use of this medication can cause membership in DU"

[Charles Henrickson]

Andy Stephenson’s non-existent pancreatic cancer operation

I hear Andy is recovering from fake pancreatic cancer surgery by drinking large quantities of Asti Spumante with Gore Vidal at his villa on the Amalfi Coast.

[PJ-Comix]

Lomotil

So what does this drug do?

[Charles Henrickson]

What can we give goodboy for Tourette's Syndrome?