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Kerry Signs Form 180: Admits Nothing
Counterjab ^ | 06/01/2005 | Chris Davis

Posted on 06/01/2005 5:16:22 PM PDT by writer33

Boston—In an interview with Boston Globe editors and columnists, Kerry said that he signed Form 180, authorizing the Department of Defense to release all of his records. “I have signed it,” Sen. Kerry, D-MA told reporters. “But I admit nothing.”

During a year long presidential election, so-called Swift Boat Veterans for Truth campaigned against Kerry, unfairly tilting the election in favor of George W. Bush and continuing the war for oil in Iraq. Despite the small victory, Kerry also stated that his staff was going through the records before releasing them.

The Boston Globe reported some of the story this way on May 24, 2005: After the interview, Kerry's communications director, David Wade, was asked to clarify when Kerry signed SF 180 and when public access would be granted. Kerry drifted over to join the conversation, immediately raising the confusion level. He did not answer the question of when he signed the form or when the entire record will be made public. Several e-mails later, Wade conveyed the following information: On Friday, May 20, Kerry obtained a copy of Form 180 and signed it.

“Let me make one thing crystal clear. I’ve reported for duty and I’m sick and tired of this hullabaloo,” Sen. Kerry, D-MA fired. “These Khan-like Swift Boat veterans are getting what they want from a real hero. I hope they’re happy! Once I’m finished going through the records, then the public can take a peek. And not a minute before that! If it takes all year, then it takes all year.”

“There’s a lot of sensitive information here,” said Sen. Kerry’s Communications Director David Wade. “The public isn’t going to be allowed to see those black ops he ran into Laos under President Nixon. That’s top secret information, the kind of information that gets seared into your memory. If that ever got out, who knows what could happen.”

As long as Senator Kerry is thinking about another presidential run in 2008, he’s got to settle the issue once and for all. The Swift Boat Veterans, however, aren’t willing to let sleeping dogs lie, keeping pressure on the senator until all of his records are released.

“I blame the Swift Boat Veterans for the loss in the elections. Well, that and President Bush’s ability to raise the fear factor,” Kerry admitted. “These fascist thugs won’t give up until they’ve ruined a life. If they were really thinking about the well-being of the country, they would’ve dropped this issue long ago. But it’s easy to see they’re back to their old, crazed Vietnam tricks, along with George W. Bush’s blessing.”

On one hand, Kerry seems to have concluded that Democrats might possibly perhaps have a “branding” problem, much like a company selling life preservers. The Democratic Party, noted Kerry, needs a new brand. That's the challenge and I’m just the sheriff to give it to them, reigning in this Republican anarchy. According to Kerry, Hillary isn’t the solution. For 25 years, he added, Democrats did not fight negative branding by their Republican attack dogs. As a result, he surmised, Democrats are now labeled as tax, spend, weak and things like that.

“I’m here to make another thing crystal clear,” Kerry said. “We’re strong, we’re left, we’re patriotic and we’re here to stay. We don’t need to wave a flag in America’s face like conservatives. We’re comfortable with our patriotism. If the Swift Boat Veterans don’t appreciate the fact that I went to Vietnam, got wounded by shaving myself and came home a war hero, that’s too bad. It sounds like a personal problem!”

As to when Form SF 180 will be released to the public is anyone’s guess. Neither Communications Director David Wade nor Senator Kerry will admit to when that might occur, leaving ambiguity after a long sought after battle. For now, the vicious Swift Boat Veterans will just have to play a waiting game.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Government; Humor; Military/Veterans; Miscellaneous; Politics; Society
KEYWORDS: fake; form180; satire
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To: MJY1288
Good Job Chris, you had me going until the "Cut myself shaving" quote :-)

Yep. Not a real statement, but glad you enjoyed it, MJY1288.

21 posted on 06/01/2005 6:22:00 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: writer33

Darn you, writer33! You got me AGAIN! LOL!


22 posted on 06/01/2005 6:29:23 PM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (G-d is not a Republican. But Satan is definitely a Democrat.)
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To: muir_redwoods
People who believe things like this are usually restrained and often medicated

I agree. My point exactly.

23 posted on 06/01/2005 6:31:33 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: Enterprise

It figures. You would've voted for those menacing Swift Boat Veterans. :) HA!


24 posted on 06/01/2005 6:32:07 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: writer33
When I try to access counterjab.com, a message comes up saying that it can't be found.

Do you have a better URL for the site?

Thanks
Char :)

25 posted on 06/01/2005 6:32:15 PM PDT by CHARLITE (Why do we permit seditious, hateful messages to be shouted from muslim pulpits in America?)
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To: muir_redwoods; MJY1288

He got me for a minute, too. Chris writes satire and posts them every few days on FR. Whenever you read something that sounds just a little too strange, see if it was posted by writer33.


26 posted on 06/01/2005 6:32:18 PM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (G-d is not a Republican. But Satan is definitely a Democrat.)
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To: writer33
“There’s a lot of sensitive information here,” said Sen. Kerry’s Communications Director David Wade. “The public isn’t going to be allowed to see those black ops he ran into Laos under President Nixon. That’s top secret information, the kind of information that gets seared into your memory. If that ever got out, who knows what could happen.”

Did David Wade say this with a straight face?

27 posted on 06/01/2005 6:34:28 PM PDT by Cowboy Bob (Question Liberalism)
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To: writer33

I would serve aboard their boats with pride.


28 posted on 06/01/2005 6:41:48 PM PDT by Enterprise (Coming soon from Newsweek: "Fallujah - we had to destroy it in order to save it.")
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To: writer33
“I blame the Swift Boat Veterans for the loss in the elections. Well, that and President Bush’s ability to raise the fear factor,” Kerry admitted. \

What sweet words. My $150 so well spent.

29 posted on 06/01/2005 6:44:33 PM PDT by InterceptPoint
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To: writer33
When I started to read this, I quickly looked back to the top of the page to check on the author.

Yep, another "Grade-A" satire from Chris. ;-)

30 posted on 06/01/2005 6:45:31 PM PDT by Ghengis (Alexander was a wuss!)
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To: writer33
That’s top secret information, the kind of information that gets seared into your memory. If that ever got out, who knows what could happen.”

Seared, SEARED I tells ya! Did Kerry serve in Viet Nam?
31 posted on 06/01/2005 6:50:05 PM PDT by SERKIT ("Blazing Saddles" explains it all.....)
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To: Blood of Tyrants

Glad you enjoyed it, BOT. :)


32 posted on 06/01/2005 7:23:35 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: Jorge

"Who's Kerry?"

:)


33 posted on 06/01/2005 7:25:49 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: Cowboy Bob
Did David Wade say this with a straight face?

I couldn't even write it with a straight face. So no...he didn't.

34 posted on 06/01/2005 7:26:37 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: InterceptPoint

:) Glad you donated.


35 posted on 06/01/2005 7:27:48 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: Ghengis

Thanks for the nice comments, Ghengis. I appreciate 'em, and thanks for reading.


36 posted on 06/01/2005 7:28:10 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: CHARLITE; Cowboy Bob

Hint: read some of the replies.


37 posted on 06/01/2005 7:28:58 PM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (G-d is not a Republican. But Satan is definitely a Democrat.)
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To: SERKIT
Seared, SEARED I tells ya! Did Kerry serve in Viet Nam?

Then you'd really enjoy the time he spent in Christmas of '69 searching for Colonel Kirby. :)

38 posted on 06/01/2005 7:29:16 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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To: writer33; MeekOneGOP; devolve; potlatch; Smartass

Thanks for the ping, Meek!
Great article, writer33. Just the sort of nuance Kerry would do. Sign the form, wait to submit it, flip flop, dissemble. Toss in a little street theatre, some projection, and non-factual facts, and you have the sum and substance of the (metro)man.


39 posted on 06/01/2005 7:45:54 PM PDT by ntnychik
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To: ntnychik

Glad you enjoyed it, ntnychik.


40 posted on 06/01/2005 7:48:11 PM PDT by writer33 ("In Defense of Liberty," a political thriller, released in March. Buy it. I need new shoes. :))
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