DUmmie FUnnies 05-13-05 (Pied Piper Pitt Hasn't Slept Since April!)

DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 13, 2005 | William Rivers Pitt, DUmmies, and PJ-Comix

[PJ-Comix]

It looks like William Rivers (Pied Piper) Pitt is doing a lot of worrying that the scam perpetrated by Andy Stephenson is going to explode in his face. Pity Poor Pathetic Pied Piper Pitt (had to get in at least one allitertation) for he hasn’t slept since April as you can see in this Pitt authored DUmmie THREAD titled, “I could use a little help here.” Yeah, Pitt, you could actually use a LOT of help WHEN the AndyScam blows up in such a way that even the incredibly gullible DUmmies realize that Andy Stephenson has been scamming them just as cold-bloodedly as his former mentor, Bev Harris. A constant theme right now in DUmmieland is that they just KNOW that Andy is on the up and up BECAUSE Pied Piper Pitt told them so. I hate to tell you this DUmmies but Pied Piper Pitt has ALSO been having doubts about the DUmmies as have been documented in the Free Republic discussion forum of the previous DUFU edition titled, “’About the Andy Stephenson situation’---Skinner.” Oh, and speaking of Skinner, haven’t the DUmmies noticed that he has been MIA since issuing his doubts about Stephenson a few days ago? Skinner is less than an hour from Baltimore but he has yet to make the short trip over there to verify Andy’s fraudulent story. It is “The Silence of the Scams.” So let us now join Pied Piper Pitt in his state of complete sleeplessness. Somehow I think Pitt will be greeting the sun for many, many mornings to come. As usual the insomniac rantings of Pitt and his DUmmie followers are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, who enjoyed a refreshing night of deep sleep, is in the [brackets]:

I could use a little help here

[You sure do, Pied Piper Pitt, especially after the DUmmies form a lynch mob to go after you when even those dopes realize FOR SURE that they have been scammed by Andy Stephenson, thanks in large part to you vouching for Andy’s honesty.]

I haven't been able to sleep for about two weeks. I start to drop off, and maybe actually sleep for about 20 minutes, before popping awake. Last night, for about the fifteenth day in a row, I saw the sun come up against my will. This has started to affect my stomach, which makes sleeping harder. I have tried exercise to wear myself out, and have managed to badly strain a muscle in my back.

[Your back will hurt even more after the DUmmies start angrily beating on it while cursing you for enabling the AndyScam.]

So, to recap: No sleep since April, rotten stomach, torn up back. I've reached that insomnia point where I am psyching myself out; I got no sleep the night before last, spent yesterday writing a PDA action alert and a 30-minute speech transcript, drove two hours to do the speech, gave the speech, did a three-hour Q&A, talked to people for another hour, drove two more hours to get home, and by the time I got back here I was literally quivering with exhaustion.

[So, to recap: You are worried sick about what will happen to you after Andy Stephenson is proven to be a complete FRAUD even to the satisfaction of the incredibly gullible DUmmie suckers.]

But I laid awake until 6:37am (I remember looking at the clock), popped awake an 8, 9, 10 before finally giving up and getting up at 11. I can barely see straight right now, my stomach feels like it has snakes in it, my back is killing me so I can't exercise...and I know for a stone fact that I won't be able to sleep again. Tried a nap an hour or so ago. Came thiiiiiiiis close to dropping of and then popped awake.

[3:11 AM: “Worried sick about the backlash when Andy’s scam is finally proven.”
3:12 AM: “Will they toss me out of Dummieland?”
3:13 AM: “Will my speaking engagements be cancelled?”
3:14 AM: “Maybe I could change my identity.”
3:15 AM: “DAMN YOU TO HELL, Andy, for suckering me into being your lousy cheerleader!!!”
3:16 AM: “Is it 3:17 AM yet?”]

Any ideas? I've already heard about taking mela-whatever, but that stuff gave my mother splitting headaches when she tried it. I have drastically cut back on caffiene. Any other suggestions would be appreciated. I've reached that violently, violently, violently frustrated stage of insomnia where sleep is a guaranteed impossibility, and if a routine like yesterday's (while on no sleep) can't get it done, I am at a total loss.

[Confession is good for the soul. And now let us read the hilarious advice on insomnia cures from your fellow DUmmies, Pitt.]

scotch. start about 3pm. you'll be out by 9

[Thunderbird. Start about 3 PM. You’ll be homeless by 9.]

Tried it. I managed to make myself unconscious, but that isn't sleep. Woke up worse off the next day. Tried it again a few days later, and all that happened was I was drunk and wide awake.

[Pied Piper Pitt---The wide awake drunk. That’s what happens when you fall such obvious scams that Andy perpetrates.]

sex?

[Unfortunately Andy can no longer be located.]

Move the clock...for one thing. Looking at that thing with the blinking : all night can be horrifying.

[If Pitt moves his clock all it will mean is that he will have to keep walking over to it every 5 minutes to check to see if he got at least a half hour of sleep.]

yes, sex works remember, only in fundie land is a monogamous partner of the opposite gender who desires to become pregnant is a requirement for "sex."

[Only in DUmmieland does it not matter what gender or species your sex partner is.]

Will: see a doctor. Insomnia is a bitch, although I only get it maybe once or twice a month.

[Pitt needs to see a shrink doctor. See Pitt lying on the shrink’s couch? Let us see what the shrink is writing on his note pad: “Just plain NUTS!!!”]

This sounds like a case for sleeping pills though I ordinarily wouldn't recommend them.

[NOT a good idea. Pitt would be tempted to swallow the whole bottle after the AndyScam blows up in DUmmieland.]

Benadryl. But don't take it every night, as you can become addicted (as per my physician husband).

[Methinks Pitt would become addicted the first night after desperately popping pill after pill of those Benny’s.]

Eat lots of turkey! Turkey has natural sleep inducers in it.

[And if that doesn’t work, have someone take a frozen turkey and slam it on Pitt’s head to knock him out.]

My problem is that I have bad physical reactions to anti-histamine stuff. I had raging bad allergies as a kid, and was always loaded up on the stuff. After a few years it just messed me up, and still does whenever I touch it.

[I can sympathize, Pitt. I’m allergic to wool so I’ve had to cross sheep off my date list. Such are the sacrifices I’ve had to make.]

Tonight I will do turkey, warm milk and the tub

[You’re going to do turkey in a tub filled with warm milk, Pitt? You really ARE kinky!]

Yes - I like Tylenol PM myself.

[I once tried to commit suicide by taking a cyanide pill. Unfortunately some sick bastard tampered with the cyanide pill bottle and I took a Tylenol that he inserted instead. I’m suing!!!]

empty your mind, grasshopper...

[…be just like your fellow DUmmies, cricket…]

I don't really know any tricks to get to sleep but one thing I discovered is that it makes no sense to just lay there willing yourself to do it - the more you try, the less likely it is that it will happen. So when I couldn't sleep, I'd get up. I'd tidy the house, I'd do laundry, I'd go for a walk, I'd read, I'd write, I'd work. Eventually, I'd get very, very tired and I'd lay down again. If I didn't get to sleep within a reasonable time, I'd get up again.

[Good idea… Hey Pitt! My pad needs cleaning and after that you can do my laundry.]

stop doing crystal meth that's what I had to do.

[speed_addiction…is that you?]

The back thing is my own fault. I've been beating the shit out of myself on my weight bench, way overdoing it to try and get sleepy. A muscle in my shoulderblade area finally got tired of it and told me to f*ck myself.

[And after the AndyScam scandal explodes, Pitt, your fellow DUmmies will be telling you the same thing as your shoulderblade muscle told you.]

Definitely see a doctor...there might be a physiological reason you're having trouble sleeping.

[Pitt’s problem is ALL mental.]

Will, I'm not a doctor, but I am going to go ahead and give you medical advice anyway. Your body is telling you to take a break.

[Yes, good advice. Take a break, Pitt, on a Costa Rica getaway with Andy Stephenson. Don’t worry about expenses. Andy has $50,000 to blow.]

Otherwise, until you see an internist, a bit of turkey, milk and a warm bath. Then find something boring, yet educational, to read.

[Maybe not educational but Pitt’s own writings should do the trick.]

A friend of mine who went through a divorce said she would drop her jaw down as you would right before you fall asleep and then force herself to COUNT SHEEP. It actually worked for her.

[It won’t work for me. I told you before that I’m allergic to wool.]

One word solution... PAMPER!

[One word solution… PAMPERS!]

White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint/distand thunderstorms and rain, and it's coma-inducing).

[White noise (I have a CD of very, very faint Pitt speeches, and it’s coma-inducing).]

Breathe thru your eyes ... Bull Durham

[Breath thru your butt … Andy Stephenson.]

Watch some mindless TV.

[Keith Olbermann.]

Ambien is habit forming and every person is different. So telling someone to ignore legitimate and documented side effects and product warnings is not particularly sound advice, wouldn't you agree?

[WARNING: Side effects of Ambien may inlude nausea, diarrhea attacks, dizziness, urges to support left wing loony causes, and the total loss of any ability to discern obvious scams.]

dude...seriously...smoke up. If I need to be asleep, pot is my friend to a nice, happy, and deep sleep.

[“Puff the magic dragon down by the sea!”]

First of all, sleep is over-rated.

[Sleep? Who needs it!]

You need to start "shutting down" very gradually.

[After the DUmmies finally wake up to the AndyScam, they will be “shutting down” Pitt very rapidly.]

Try to figure out what caused this abnormal sleep cycle to begin in the first place and address that issue.

[I don’t believe that Pitt thinking about how he has become Andy Stephenson’s lead cheerleader in Dummieland is going to help him get any sleep.]

Go To An Acupuncturist ASAP.

[Perhaps the acupuncturist can anesthetize those brain cells containing all memories about Andy.]

want something natural? try acupuncture- & I know where to get it cheap in the south end

[I don’t know about Pitt but Andy certainly would love to be acupunctured in the south end.]

You really should go to a doctor for a sleep evaluation. This may include keeping a diary for a week or so…

[May 13: “WHAT? WHAT? WHAT will I do when the DUmmies rise up against me when the AndyScam breaks?
May 15: “Need to leave the country. PRONTO!”
May 16: “Quick flight down to Costa Rica.”
May 20: “Slight gender preference modification but the honeymoon with Andy is just dreamy!”]

Cancel your appointments. Don't listen to TV or radio. Turn off your cell phone. Rent some funny movies.

[Flim Flam Man. The Sting.]

[gidget7]

make that "tell them", hmmmmmm spell check didn't pick that up.

[Krodg]

Do they show up for you?

No. That's why I mentioned that Andy uploaded them and now they are gone. I do know that a couple of posters have saved them to their hard drives.

[speed_addiction]

Here you go!

[Scothia]

The 2nd Assistant Grand DUmmie "EarlG," who gave the infatuated accomplice of the felonis Andy, the DUmmie "sfexpat2000," permission to start "a fund-raising thread."

Now isn't he just the person you want standing between yourself and a terrorist trying to blow you up? (Wondering how dripping with sarcasm I can get.)

[lutz]

Now what IT ala 'principal' had wrote during that disclosure:

ATTENTION Mr. "AndyScam"
I spoke with all of the people asking questions behind the scenes and The FBI was given all of the info, including the person telling this story. Steve is his first name, but the FBI will determine just for sure. Also, Steve in one of his posts mentioned filing a report with the FBI, which the FBI does not have on file. Steve also mentioned that he was communicating with an attorney at JH, even showing a supposed email from that attorney, also not true. It is a crime to represent a legal communication or a person representing the legal community.

The calls made by Steve and then by others caused issues for Andy with PayPal and Medicaid, that is also a crime.

Finally, the entire CU conversation about all of these things as well as the Kos posts by Steve and the FR posts by Steve, who is probably "andyscam" here, have been downloaded, and handed off to the FBI. All parties have spoken with legal council and all parties are considering various civil actions. The FBI is looking into criminal action. Cyber law 101.

But really, feel free to continue this. My only reason for coming to this board was to see what, if anything, I could learn. Seems I learned that attacking a cancer patient, attempting to discredit journalists, misrepresenting officials in the FBI and attorneys for a medical establisment are not really things I want to learn. Last edited by principal : Today at 05:44 PM.

Note that no contact has been made since...so is Undie fleeing to friendly climates now? Is this why Skinner has taken a 'vacation' all the sudden? Hmm.....

Oh! And AndyScam just put something else up on CU if anyone wants to look, I'm tired after all that formatting! ;3

http://www.conservativeunderground.com/forum/showthread.php?t=6331&page=60&pp=20

[Charles Henrickson]

Good catch, Speed! Here they are again, set to screen width (width=744):

[imskylark]

"..."free healthcare for everyone"...and they picked JH as an easy target becasue they are one of the leading hospitals in the nation?"

What gets me is that he had the opportunity to use the 'great free health care' but it wasn't good enough for him!! The hypocrisy in this is simply amazing!!!

[Scothia]

You guys rock! I don't want Andy or anyone to have cancer, and even if they are the dumbest of DUmmies no one deserves to be scammed.

It seems that the only ones who desperately want Undie to have cancer are his "friends" at DU. No one here wishes that on him. (From what I can see, no one here really thinks he has it anyway.) OTOH, the DUmmies will freak out to find he has nothing but a glorified stomach ache.

[speed_addiction]

IT (Principal) dropped everything and hit the door running when I posted the following on CU:

"Principal, for the love of God! Answer the question or shut up now. For your own good, answer the question or shut up. You have painted yourself into a corner. This is not a flame, it is advice."

Followed by this:


"[whispering]Dude! Shut up and try to cut a deal! Try to cut a deal![/whispering]"


Not ONE SINGLE WORD from Principal after I posted that.

[KJC1]

Added time info for 5/11 consultation, thanks to speed reposting the documents.

---

Updated timeline (please copy, paste with additions & corrections):

Feb 11: Undie diagnoses with 'Hepatitis A' (bed rest for 6 weeks)

Mar 22: Undie names his 'tumor' Bev
Mar 23: Undie posts his biopsy has been done.

Baltimore:

May 4: Undie lands in Baltimore
May 5: Undie allegedly visits w/ the doctor
May 5: Cashier's Check for $25k is issued from WA state

Ohio:

May 6: Undie flies to Columbus, Ohio
May 6: Cashier's Check for $7k is issued from WA state
May 6: Sfexpat2000 announces just over $32k is raised
May 7: Undie is in Ohio @ the DU meetup
May 8: Meet w/ some more DUmmies;
May 9: Flew from Ohio back to Baltimore

Baltimore:

May 9: "Bowel flush"
May 10: Scheduled surgery date
May 10: Undie posts that Skinner has info to verify things
May 11: 10:41am Exam that resulted in "diagnostic sheet"
May 11: 12 Noon Undie posts that JH has been paid
May 11: 8 PM Undie posts that he wrote a "hot check"



May 6 or 7: 'termite' mails checks to JH - undetermined exact date - per Undie himself


-----Q: Jan ?: Date that fly or sfexpat claim Undie was diagnosed with cancer
-----Q: May 9: Is this when the checks arrived at JH?
-----Q: May 10: Checks 'lost' at JH causes surgery to be put on hold?
-----Q: May ?: What day & time did he get the puppy, and post those silly pictures?
-----Q: May 10: The 40 minutes Undie was away when Skinner was trying to verify, when did this start/end?

[lutz]

Interesting...That has been added to the timeline to produce *drum roll please*:

**************************************************************

Updated timeline (please copy, paste with additions & corrections):

Feb 11: Undie diagnoses with 'Hepatitis A' (bedrest for 6 weeks)

Mar 22: Undie names his 'tumor' Bev
Mar 23: Undie posts his biopsy has been done.

Baltimore:

May 4: Undie lands in Baltimore
May 5: Undie allegedly visits w/ the doctor
May 5: Cashier's Check for $25k is issued from WA state
May 5: Undie flies to Columbus after Doctors Apt @ JH

Ohio:

May 6: Undie flies to Columbus, Ohio
May 6: Cashier's Check for $7k is issued from WA state
May 6: Sfexpat2000 announces just over $32k is raised
May 7: Undie is in Ohio @ the DU meetup
May 8: Meet w/ some more DUmmies;
May 9: Flew from Ohio back to Baltimore

Baltimore:

May 9: "Bowel flush"
May 10: Scheduled surgery date
May 10: Undie posts that Skinner has info to verify things
May 11: 8 AM Undie got the puppy, and posted those silly pictures.
May 11: 10:41 AM Undie Exam date as stated on 'Diagnostic sheet'
May 11: 12 Noon Undie posts that JH has been paid
May 11: 1:02 PM Undie's results are completed
May 11: 8 PM Undie posts that he wrote a "hot check"

May 6 or 7: 'termite' mails checks to JH - undetermined exact date - per Undie himself

-----Q: Jan ?: Date that fly or sfexpat claim Undie was diagnosed with cancer
-----Q: May 9: Is this when the checks arrived at JH?
-----Q: May 10: Checks 'lost' at JH causes surgery to be put on hold?
-----Q: May 10: The 40 minutes Undie was away when Skinner was trying to verify, when did this start/end?
-----Q: May 11: When did Undie find time to get back to where he was staying to POST on DU about JH being paid when he was still in the EXAM?!

So, did I miss something here?

[KJC1]

How long did that May 11 10:41am exam take?

Undie posted at noon. Hmmm.

[BTHOtu]

bookmark

[KJC1]

LOL. We are totally on the same page!

[lutz]

Nope! ^o^ & not a single thing since!

Heheheheee~ IT was owned! & AndyScam (the CU poster) Has become one of my hero's.

[lutz]

Hehee! Definitely! ;3

[luvie]

Yeah, tx--as the libs are always saying "it isn't necessarily whether the facts are there, but the seriousness of the charge that is important!" Right?

[MisterRepublican]

Something that intrigues me is that Andy posted this "Radiology Document" which one would assume is now part of his medical records.

So, if he was able to get a copy of this document, why nothing else? He doesn't have any problem posting this medical document, but somehow the rest are off limits?

I don't understand it. He could post something with his diagnosis on it because he obviously isn't concerned with posting his personal medical records.

[KJC1]

Someone here or on CU with a DU star needs to search DU for ALL posts by Undie on March 11 before they get toasted! Screen caps too! This will greatly help the timeline.

[I_like_good_things_too]

This is unbelievable. Another one of the myriad of "red flags" that should have been raised for the DUmmies is that one of the early requests for money was worded saying "our activists are working with the people at JH to negotiate lower prices" or something like that. It seems to me that one of these "activists" could have merely requested that the person at JH that they were working with confirm Undie's patient status for Skinner. One of MANY red flags.

And, donning my lawyer cap, it seems the DUmp itself can be considered partially liable for the bilking of the DUmmies (and Air America too?) for allowing a fraudulent fundraiser. I can imagine the leftie heads exploding across the country if DU were shut down (Rove got to them!!!!!!!).

The "guys" in charge at DU should have their heads examined for allowing any fundraiser to take place-- legality aside, it's just unethical (why is King Andy worthy of a fund raiser, but not some other sick poster?? And they're all sick). But like good little Stalinists, they serve their masters well.