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DUmmie FUnnies 05-06-05 ("TomPaine.com: What didn't happen in Ohio")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 6, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/06/2005 4:03:32 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

DUmmieland is in an uproar because the Leftwing TomPaine.Com website published an article claiming that there was NO vote fraud conspiracy in Ohio. This is heresy in the eyes of the DUmmies because one of their most treasured beliefs is that the EVIL Republicans STOLE the election by rigging the votes in Ohio. One side effect of this belief is that it made Bev Harris a very rich woman since she scammed the DUmmies for at least $300,000 by making them think she was only $10 away from proving vote fraud in Ohio. There are actually two DUmmie threads expressing their OUTRAGE over the TomPaine.Com article. The first THREAD is titled, "’What Didn't Happen in Ohio’ This article DEMANDS a response!” and the second THREAD is simply titled, “TomPaine.com: What didn't happen in Ohio.” Both these threads have the typical lunatic DUmmie responses so both will be DUFUed. As usual, the rantings of the DUmmies unable to let go of their sacred Ohio vote fraud beliefs are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, with $10 in his pocket that he did NOT send to Bev Harris, is in the [brackets]:

“For casting doubt on the conspiracy theory, TomPaine.com and I received virtual barrels of e-mail, most from angry anti-Bush activists who could not believe that their hard work had been for naught. I also heard from Steven Freeman, a University of Pennsylvania professor and author of a widely cited study that served as the primary basis for the pro-theft-theory folks, The Unexplained Exit Poll Discrepancy . His remarks, and my response to them, appeared on TomPaine.com.”

[For casting doubt on the Ohio vote fraud conspiracy, I brand you a HERETIC!!! Let the Auto Da Fe begin!]

“Privately, I heard from many Democratic officials, election reform advocates and analysts from inside Ohio and elsewhere, who believed my reporting to be accurate, and who were more than a little perturbed by the frenzy, which they found a counterproductive distraction from the serious ongoing effort to reform election practices. Since the debate refuses to die, this seems a good time to trumpet the arrival of not just one, but two, new technical analyses that cast further doubt upon the conspiracy theories out there. The author of the first is an earnest young fellow in San Diego named Rick Brady.”

[Privately I’ve heard that the only loons left believing in the Ohio vote fraud conspiracy are the DUmmies and Teh-RAY-suh Heinz.]

”So, absent the emergence of true polling methodology experts screaming theft, we may reasonably conclude that no evil genius rigged the results. Instead, what we experienced was probably an amalgam of system failings, miscalculations, incompetence, and, in some cases, the variably successful exertions of biased election officials. These are, at worst, symptoms of gaming the system, a deplorable practice hardly limited to this election or, historically, to one party. The anomalies being cited, including by Christopher Hitchens—apparently without any notable independent verification—in a widely cited Vanity Fair piece, may prove to be invalid, or attributable as well to other factors. Perhaps fraud occurred on an isolated basis, but no one has come forward with careful documentation—as opposed to hysterical—unscientific allegation.”

[No! No! Don’t wanna hear this! Don’t you know that Karl Rove was the EVIL genius that rigged the election?]

“Until the public becomes confident in the underlying integrity of the electoral apparatus in this country, none of the urgently needed improvements to that system can take place. That’s why the conspiracy-mongering must cease. Can we instead please turn now to the many substantive proposals already being proffered to make things better—including pending legislation? Let’s keep our eye on the real ball that’s in our court.”

[Hey! Don’t tell me when I have to cease my mongering! Now that we have seen portions of this article, let us now take a look at the DUmmie outraged reaction to it.]

Bullshit! I saw it with my own eyes. I heard it w/ my own ears. I live in Columbus, Ohio too.

[And I saw space aliens land on Washington Mall with my own eyes. I heard it w/ my own ears. I live in the state of Insanity.]

Congratulations! More self-defeating bullshit, naysaying. Wunderbar!

[When even the far left TomPaine website thinks that the DUmmies are a bunch of moonbats, you know they are really far gone.]

Two very close elections. Two Republican Secs of State. Both Republican Secs of State doing double duty as Bush's state campaign chairs. Diebold machines manufactured and in use in key counties in both states. Big GOP donors running Diebold. Not least, a strong racist undertone re voter-access -- longer lines in heavy black precincts, etc. In sum, that is the infrastructure of cheating. Bush-Cheney cheated. Kerry-Edwards won.

[You certainly do present a convincing case…. that your oxygen supply was turned off at a young age.]

WE ARE NOT GOING TO STOP UNTIL JUSTICE IS DONE!

[THE COMEDY WILL NEVER END!]

I just emailed Russ Baker begging him to tell me this is satire.

[So sorry. It’s the bitter truth.]

my response is that he's right on…And I would add that I've suspected for a long time that some of the "activism" is actually intended to deliberately create and nourish unwarranted distrust in the system for malicious reasons.

[And this Dummie wins a Kewpie doll for having a very brief moment of mental clarity!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: andyscam; battleground; dummies; voterfraud
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To: speed_addiction

And what I find interesting is that it doesn't seem the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson is blaming you or me, when talking about a "Freeper."

By his vocabulary, his "aim" just seems a limp shot in the dark.

He suspects a "Freeper," but he's not quite sure who it is.


321 posted on 05/10/2005 7:39:27 PM PDT by franksolich (<<blameless.....or perhaps not)
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To: lutz

You remember how the DUmmie FUnnies the day after Christmas (where the DUmmies were "greatly saddened") had been the most-viewed, most-commented-upon DUmmie FUnnies?

(The ones about the DUmmie "Steve" being the second-most popular.)

There was a blizzard or something that day, covering the United States from Iowa to Maine, from North Dakota to Alabama, and so most were inside, in front of the computer.

Well, by sheer accident, this particular edition of the DUmmie FUnnies is exceeding those numbers of "views" and "comments"......although most have not been for the original subject of these DUmmie FUnnies.

P.J. hit a new record today.


322 posted on 05/10/2005 7:44:49 PM PDT by franksolich (<<blameless.....or perhaps not)
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To: franksolich

Well, it's nearly 10 p.m. here (11 p.m. Johns Hopkins time), and I'm going to hit the sack, reading myself to sleep with that old classic "The Hucksters."

I thought for sure this was going to wind up today, but this latest posting by the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson presents a new twist, and so I'm sure there's going to be more in the morning.....

I hope Bev Harris responds to my e-mail during the night.


323 posted on 05/10/2005 7:52:21 PM PDT by franksolich (<<blameless.....or perhaps not)
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To: speed_addiction
Those sappy, "I KNEW you wouldn't lie to us , Andy" posts are so overpoweringly sweet, I left that browser window open while I fed my dog and my damned computer was covered in ants!


324 posted on 05/10/2005 7:53:02 PM PDT by Dashing Dasher (Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.)
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To: speed_addiction

Not only is he blaming Bev Harris but also an unnamed Freeper. For the Life of me I can not imagine a Freeper working with Bev Harris on ANYTHING. Let alone somethins as miniscule as bismirching Undies "good name."

Remember to them, anyone who isn't a DUmmie is a freeper, so it could just be someone even more anti-social then the DUmmies attacking the anti-social DUmmies.

325 posted on 05/10/2005 7:55:07 PM PDT by Duke Nukum (King had to write, to sing the song of Gan. And I had to read. How else could Roland find the Tower?)
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To: franksolich

Add me to the DUmmie Alert list, please...


326 posted on 05/10/2005 8:00:18 PM PDT by WinOne4TheGipper (Ignorance is the sole breeding ground for liberalism.)
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To: franksolich

Well, well! So ole Undie the Fundee went public, and still talking about the "bowel flush"! We'll see!


327 posted on 05/10/2005 8:06:53 PM PDT by luvie ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: LUV W

I've got to tell you.....

If you have never had abdominal surgery - you probably don't know about the "bowel flush".

Yes, it sounds disgusting, and kinda gay trendy - but in reality - it's a necessary evil for abdom/surgery victims/candidates.


328 posted on 05/10/2005 8:25:47 PM PDT by Dashing Dasher (Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.)
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To: Dashing Dasher

Oh, I haven't! Hope I never have to--sounds wretched! But know things have to be done.


329 posted on 05/10/2005 8:31:49 PM PDT by luvie ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: ShorelineMike; WinOne4TheGipper; ReeWalker; speed_addiction; Dashing Dasher; codercpc; Deetes; ...
DUMMIE ALERT!


DUMMIE ALERT!


FRANKSOLICH OFFERS (conditional) APOLOGY TO THE DUMMIE ANDY STEPHENSON!


Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Image hosted by Photobucket.com


It is with a truly contrite and humble heart that I offer my most sincere apologies to the DUmmie Andy Stephenson for my speculations as given in reply 295, above. I was wrong, and I am deeply ashamed.

God commands that we be careful about thinking before we speak, and in reply 295, I had made the premature comment, "he's gone, he's flown the coop, with the loot"--a statement I was making on the basis that the DUmmie Andy Stephenson had not appeared in DUmmieland for several hours, ever since the Grand DUmmie "Skinner" had asked him to return his telephone calls, and to sign a medical release.

But as my reply 295 was being written, reply 296 by speed_addiction was also being written, the exact same minute; I had apparently left DUmmieland a minute or two too soon, while speed_addiction was still in there, and caught the DUmmie Andy Stephenson responding.

Thus my stunned shock, as stated in reply 298.

You know, there are a lot of things about God, and one of them is that God is a good practical joker, suddenly and abruptly tossing banana-peels in front of those who get carried away, so as to teach them humility.

And I am indeed humbled.

And so this is my apology to the DUmmie Andy Stephenson, for having shot off my mouth too soon, insinuating he had already taken the cash and headed for parts unknown; I should have waited before I spoke.

I have been following the DUmmie Andy Stephenson ever since the "Bev Harris issue" broke in Free Republic, and about three months ago, established that the authentic real-life Andrew Stephenson of Seattle, Washington is in fact the same person as the DUmmie Andy Stephenson in DUmmieland.

I was intrigued; it seemed to me while everybody else was going after Bev Harris, there was "bigger game" being ignored.

There is nothing remarkable about Bev Harris, who is after all a common ordinary run-of-the-mill "average" confidence man, buncombe artist, snake-oil salesman, and so despite her flimflammery, Bev Harris presents no threat to the Republic.

The DUmmie Andy Stephenson however is a different matter, a not-so-obvious con-man, and a better one than Bev Harris could ever be, as demonstrated by the blind loyalty of so many child-like DUmmies who laugh at any belief in God, but who at the same time believe in fairies.

And so while everybody else was like a pack of hounddogs in pursuit of an old crow, I was chasing after a big fat plump vulture.

Once his "pancreatic cancer" was diagnosed--a very long time ago now--I became very intrigued by the behavior of the DUmmie Andy Stephenson; behavior which I have never in my life observed in others suffering cancer or other grievous ailments.

Someone diagnosed with pancreatic cancer immediately and without hesitation, "shuts down" all meaningless things in his life; he does not refuse offers of medical assistance, he does not play and cavort 2,000 miles away from home, and the matter of election fraud becomes meaningless to him.

The Washington (state) Department of Social Services offered the DUmmie Andy Stephenson medical assistance, and immediately.....which the DUmmie Andy Stephenson spurned.

Again, this is not the reaction of a reasonable person afflicted with pancreatic cancer; a reasonable person afflicted with pancreatic cancer grasps at all straws, hoping there are enough to hold him, to save him.

After the fund-raiser in DUmmieland for the DUmmie Andy Stephenson had begun, and since I had without a doubt established the true identity of the DUmmie Andy Stephenson, I contacted the Washington (state) Department of Social Services about the matter, after which I was directed to send, by fastest regular mail possible, all documentation to one of their fraud investigators.

I had speculated, perhaps wrongly, that the DUmmie Andy Stephenson would ultimately return to the Washington (state) Department of Social Services.....in which case he would again have to declare his income and assets.

I wanted to be sure he did that; I am sure the DUmmie Andy Stephenson, like myself, is concerned about the exploitation of the working and the poor classes, who are burdened with higher taxes so as to make up for shortfalls caused by people with income and assets who avoid paying taxes.

I just needed to be sure that if the DUmmie Andy Stephenson went back to the Washington (state) Department of Social Services, that he would remember to claim all this fund-raising income, on which his social services medical benefits would be based.

Well, the DUmmie Andy Stephenson did not abscond with the loot, and is probably in Johns Hopkins (although not necessarily for pancreatic cancer; possibly for some other affliction)--and I again apologize to the DUmmie Andy Stephenson for my too-quick, premature, comment that he had already run away, bags of money in his hands.

On another issue, the DUmmie Andy Stephenson is no novice when it comes to paying taxes, and is probably aware that contributions from others raised on his behalf are a form of income that is sometimes taxable, and which always must be reported.

Everyone here in Free Republic knows what I do for a living; no form 1040EZ and earned-income credit for the DUmmie Andy Stephenson.

If the DUmmie Andy Stephenson, for the tax year 2005, uses the 1040 and several forms and schedules to explain his income, and honestly reports his income and its sources, the DUmmie Andy Stephenson should have no problem.

330 posted on 05/11/2005 4:56:44 AM PDT by franksolich (<<blameless.....or perhaps not)
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To: franksolich

I think that the DUmmie Andy Stepehnson is suffering from that same thought process that ultimately did me in as a drug dealer. He is back on DU, has concocted a hogwash, bullsh!t story that the DUmmies are more than eager to lap up. He bought himself more time and will attempt to keep the money rolling in.

I did the same thing. I kept holding out so I could make one more big score and in the end, strecthed that thin line to much and it snapped. It will snap soon on Undie.


331 posted on 05/11/2005 5:56:40 AM PDT by speed_addiction (If you expect the worse out of everybody, you won't be disappointed___Frank Castle)
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To: speed_addiction

We've all done things like that, trying "just one more time" to "make the big score."

I haven't quite learned the whole lesson, but obviously you did, which makes you one of the most-admired people here on Free Republic.

Some of us.....including myself.....it just takes longer.


332 posted on 05/11/2005 6:08:07 AM PDT by franksolich (crime never pays)
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To: franksolich

This little saga ain't over yet! Humility is a good thing, but the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson is still working his shill and....has anyone heard this morning that the surgery actually took place? Good thing your apology was conditional--you could be proved right any minute! LOL!


333 posted on 05/11/2005 6:33:24 AM PDT by luvie ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: LUV W
Oh, he is pulling out all the stops now...

334 posted on 05/11/2005 6:59:55 AM PDT by speed_addiction (If you expect the worse out of everybody, you won't be disappointed___Frank Castle)
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To: speed_addiction

Ooooooooo---better get the "Hanky Alerts" ready! We're in for a real tear jerker now, I guess! BTW--who's gonna be taking care of the new puppy while Undie the Fundee is having his surgery?


335 posted on 05/11/2005 7:05:37 AM PDT by luvie ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: franksolich

I have been out of town on my honeymoon and trying to get caught up Please add me to the ping list if it is still going on. Thanks!


336 posted on 05/11/2005 7:27:53 AM PDT by volvox (DUmmie FUnnies--a great way to start the morning)
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To: franksolich

You guys may already have this info (since I am late to this party), but I looked up info on the whipple procedure and its cost at John Hopkins. It costs about $26,204 according to the John Hopkins newspaper. See this link for more details.

http://www.jhu.edu/~gazette/janmar95/jan0995/brief.html


337 posted on 05/11/2005 10:22:28 AM PDT by volvox (DUmmie FUnnies--a great way to start the morning)
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To: volvox

Could you send this information over to the CURRENT edition of the DUmmie FUnnies, the one about the Grand DUmmie "Skinner"?


338 posted on 05/11/2005 10:23:31 AM PDT by franksolich (not a nice guy)
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To: volvox; franksolich

It looks like this article might be about 10 years old, judging from the URL. How much could we figure the cost of this procedure to go up in 10 years?


339 posted on 05/11/2005 1:34:27 PM PDT by Purrcival (C'mon Undie - file your equivalent of Form 180)
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