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DUmmie FUnnies 05-06-05 ("TomPaine.com: What didn't happen in Ohio")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 6, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/06/2005 4:03:32 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

DUmmieland is in an uproar because the Leftwing TomPaine.Com website published an article claiming that there was NO vote fraud conspiracy in Ohio. This is heresy in the eyes of the DUmmies because one of their most treasured beliefs is that the EVIL Republicans STOLE the election by rigging the votes in Ohio. One side effect of this belief is that it made Bev Harris a very rich woman since she scammed the DUmmies for at least $300,000 by making them think she was only $10 away from proving vote fraud in Ohio. There are actually two DUmmie threads expressing their OUTRAGE over the TomPaine.Com article. The first THREAD is titled, "’What Didn't Happen in Ohio’ This article DEMANDS a response!” and the second THREAD is simply titled, “TomPaine.com: What didn't happen in Ohio.” Both these threads have the typical lunatic DUmmie responses so both will be DUFUed. As usual, the rantings of the DUmmies unable to let go of their sacred Ohio vote fraud beliefs are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, with $10 in his pocket that he did NOT send to Bev Harris, is in the [brackets]:

“For casting doubt on the conspiracy theory, TomPaine.com and I received virtual barrels of e-mail, most from angry anti-Bush activists who could not believe that their hard work had been for naught. I also heard from Steven Freeman, a University of Pennsylvania professor and author of a widely cited study that served as the primary basis for the pro-theft-theory folks, The Unexplained Exit Poll Discrepancy . His remarks, and my response to them, appeared on TomPaine.com.”

[For casting doubt on the Ohio vote fraud conspiracy, I brand you a HERETIC!!! Let the Auto Da Fe begin!]

“Privately, I heard from many Democratic officials, election reform advocates and analysts from inside Ohio and elsewhere, who believed my reporting to be accurate, and who were more than a little perturbed by the frenzy, which they found a counterproductive distraction from the serious ongoing effort to reform election practices. Since the debate refuses to die, this seems a good time to trumpet the arrival of not just one, but two, new technical analyses that cast further doubt upon the conspiracy theories out there. The author of the first is an earnest young fellow in San Diego named Rick Brady.”

[Privately I’ve heard that the only loons left believing in the Ohio vote fraud conspiracy are the DUmmies and Teh-RAY-suh Heinz.]

”So, absent the emergence of true polling methodology experts screaming theft, we may reasonably conclude that no evil genius rigged the results. Instead, what we experienced was probably an amalgam of system failings, miscalculations, incompetence, and, in some cases, the variably successful exertions of biased election officials. These are, at worst, symptoms of gaming the system, a deplorable practice hardly limited to this election or, historically, to one party. The anomalies being cited, including by Christopher Hitchens—apparently without any notable independent verification—in a widely cited Vanity Fair piece, may prove to be invalid, or attributable as well to other factors. Perhaps fraud occurred on an isolated basis, but no one has come forward with careful documentation—as opposed to hysterical—unscientific allegation.”

[No! No! Don’t wanna hear this! Don’t you know that Karl Rove was the EVIL genius that rigged the election?]

“Until the public becomes confident in the underlying integrity of the electoral apparatus in this country, none of the urgently needed improvements to that system can take place. That’s why the conspiracy-mongering must cease. Can we instead please turn now to the many substantive proposals already being proffered to make things better—including pending legislation? Let’s keep our eye on the real ball that’s in our court.”

[Hey! Don’t tell me when I have to cease my mongering! Now that we have seen portions of this article, let us now take a look at the DUmmie outraged reaction to it.]

Bullshit! I saw it with my own eyes. I heard it w/ my own ears. I live in Columbus, Ohio too.

[And I saw space aliens land on Washington Mall with my own eyes. I heard it w/ my own ears. I live in the state of Insanity.]

Congratulations! More self-defeating bullshit, naysaying. Wunderbar!

[When even the far left TomPaine website thinks that the DUmmies are a bunch of moonbats, you know they are really far gone.]

Two very close elections. Two Republican Secs of State. Both Republican Secs of State doing double duty as Bush's state campaign chairs. Diebold machines manufactured and in use in key counties in both states. Big GOP donors running Diebold. Not least, a strong racist undertone re voter-access -- longer lines in heavy black precincts, etc. In sum, that is the infrastructure of cheating. Bush-Cheney cheated. Kerry-Edwards won.

[You certainly do present a convincing case…. that your oxygen supply was turned off at a young age.]

WE ARE NOT GOING TO STOP UNTIL JUSTICE IS DONE!

[THE COMEDY WILL NEVER END!]

I just emailed Russ Baker begging him to tell me this is satire.

[So sorry. It’s the bitter truth.]

my response is that he's right on…And I would add that I've suspected for a long time that some of the "activism" is actually intended to deliberately create and nourish unwarranted distrust in the system for malicious reasons.

[And this Dummie wins a Kewpie doll for having a very brief moment of mental clarity!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: andyscam; battleground; dummies; voterfraud
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To: franksolich
How in the world can you follow that convoluted software? I have no idea what's going on. I've skipped around some but am getting a headache, so will have to rely on you for updates. Two points, though:
- if Andy's in Baltimore, no way is he 40 minutes from a computer
- If Pitt PM'd Andy's cell phone # to Skinner, why hasn't Skinner been able to verify anything? Oh, let me guess, Andy's 40 minutes from a cell phone tower TOO.

If the guy really is sick, I hope he recovers, & I'll be properly ashamed of myself for doubting. But it all looks very suspicious.

241 posted on 05/10/2005 12:08:17 PM PDT by nina0113
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To: nina0113

It's a fraud.

I'm sure of it.

It is possible the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson has some sort of illness, but I doubt it is pancreatic cancer.

This is why I have been "pushing" this issue so much (probably to the utter boredom of everyone else, the past two weeks).....this criminal is making a mockery of people truly in need of medical assistance, people truly suffering from cancer.


242 posted on 05/10/2005 12:11:25 PM PDT by franksolich (Skinner, we're not all dummies; you should've listened)
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To: nina0113
If the guy really is sick, I hope he recovers, & I'll be properly ashamed of myself for doubting.

Ditto on the recovery wishes if he's actually sick... pancreatic cancer is a nasty piece of business... but even if it's true, you shouldn't feel ashamed for doubting. This story has too many ear-marks of a scam, and Andy doesn't exactly have a clean reputation when it comes to being involved in scams and shady deals (association with Bev "BBV" Harris alone is enough to tarnish anyone permanently).

243 posted on 05/10/2005 12:13:22 PM PDT by kevkrom (If people are free to do as they wish, they are almost certain not to do as Utopian planners wish)
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To: franksolich

If it is pancreatic cancer, he's already outlived Michael Landon. Wasn't that something like two weeks from diagnosis to death?


244 posted on 05/10/2005 12:13:56 PM PDT by nina0113
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To: nina0113

It's been alleged the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson has had pancreatic cancer (diagnosed) since.....early January.

You decide.


245 posted on 05/10/2005 12:20:23 PM PDT by franksolich (Skinner, we're not all dummies; you should've listened)
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To: Dashing Dasher
perhaps I'll need to start a paypal account

Speaking of "papal".......... do you know why John Kerry on crutches showed up at the Vatican at the Pope's funeral? He was there for a "Papal Heart".

;-)

246 posted on 05/10/2005 1:18:43 PM PDT by beyond the sea (Cops to Jenn: Can we stop looking for the blue van now and talk about the flatware deficit?)
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To: 68 grunt; beckysueb; Born Conservative; Charles Henrickson; cinives; Constantine XIII; Deetes; ...
NORWAY PING LIST ALERT!


NORWAY PING LIST ALERT!


Image hosted by Photobucket.com


As you can probably see from the postings above, I've been too busy to get any news from Norway today, and probably this will continue into tomorrow (Wednesday), until this whole sordid tawdry story with the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson winds down.

I was going to do a "tour" of Hvaler tonight, but the eyes are blurry from swimming through the intestinally-processed food of DUmmieland, and surely everyone wishes to see Norway in its best light.

Just one of those cases where my civic duty (exposing criminality) overrides my affection for our gallant allies in the war against terror, Norway.

247 posted on 05/10/2005 2:10:39 PM PDT by franksolich (crime never pays)
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To: Dashing Dasher; PJ-Comix; franksolich

Would JH be allowed to tell other DUmmies anything about Undie? I would think that HIIPA law would prevent that - patient privacy, and all that. He might be banking on that.

As for Undie not having checked in, is it possible that he might have checked in under an assumed name? Not debunking the "scam" angle, just trying to think from all angles.


248 posted on 05/10/2005 2:12:35 PM PDT by Purrcival (Oh, what a tangled web Undie appears to be weaving...)
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To: SCALEMAN

Thanks for that clarification. I assumed that for serious surgery, he would have been admitted the night before.


249 posted on 05/10/2005 2:13:46 PM PDT by Purrcival (Oh, what a tangled web Undie appears to be weaving...)
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To: Charles Henrickson; PJ-Comix; franksolich

He's been HEALED!! It's a MIRACLE!!!!! Now, he just KNOWS that God wants him to take that $50,000 and give himself a vacation in the Barbados. For all of the stress and everything, y'know.


250 posted on 05/10/2005 2:15:53 PM PDT by Purrcival (Oh, what a tangled web Undie appears to be weaving...)
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To: franksolich
...was told that they had not received the checks and that the surgery was cancelled.

Wait a minute...I thought that Undie supposedly had a check for $50,000 IN HAND to give them, and that the surgery was GUARANTEED to happen today. So where did these other checks come from?

251 posted on 05/10/2005 2:19:48 PM PDT by Purrcival (Oh, what a tangled web Undie appears to be weaving...)
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To: Purrcival
You know, the Health Information Protection Act (HIPA) does not permit a doctor or hospital to release information without the patient's approval, but with the patient's approval I can't see why they couldn't. Somebody with better knowledge of HIPA correct me if I'm not understanding this rightly.

It seems to me that if Fundee Stephenson is basing his whole appeal on desperately needing $50,000 surgery for pancreatic cancer at Johns Hopkins, then it ought to follow that he should allow the information to be released that he is indeed having surgery for pancreatic cancer at Johns Hopkins and that it will cost about $50,000. If he's not lying, what's the problem? This "Don't call the hospital, HIPA prevents them from speaking" nonsense sounds like a convenient cover.

BTW, one of Fundee's defenders says that Fundee is indeed "ill," but note that he does not say, "ill with surgery-needing pancreatic cancer." If Undie is ill, I wouldn't be surprised if it's some sort of venereal disease from committing unnatural acts with members of the male race.

252 posted on 05/10/2005 2:22:48 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Undie the Fundee.)
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To: LUV W; Charles Henrickson; PJ-Comix; franksolich

"Bingo! I think your prediction is probably right! Just look at him. He is just to chubby, jolly, and round-cheeked looking to be someone practically dying of cancer. "

Y'know, I don't wish ill for anyone, but every time I have looked at Undie's picture, I have wondered the very same thing. "Is he REALLY sick? He doesn't LOOK sick." And he has all of this energy to go traipsing around the country on everyone else's nickel, "investigating" this, that, and the other, and "giving seminars". Does not compute. This does NOT square with someone suffering for something as serious as pancreatic cancer.


253 posted on 05/10/2005 2:22:53 PM PDT by Purrcival (Oh, what a tangled web Undie appears to be weaving...)
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To: Purrcival

I already answered that one question, many many many replies back--when I telephoned, I asked about "Andy, Andrew, Stephenson," and the woman said he wasn't checked in yet--clearly implying he was on the roster, and expected.

So he was checking in under his real name, obviously.

Also, the Grand DUmmie "Skinner" WANTS the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson to sign a "release," so the Grand DUmmie "Skinner" can get the whole story.

No word from the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson as of 4:30 p.m. (Nebraska time).

Shades of a recently-failed presidential candidate and his Form 180.....


254 posted on 05/10/2005 2:25:12 PM PDT by franksolich (crime never pays)
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To: franksolich
I'll play Fundee's advocate for a moment.

I just googled "pancreatic cancer" and the first result I got was a Johns Hopkins site:
http://www.path.jhu.edu/pancreas

Apparently, JH is one of the leading, if not the leading, center for pancreatic cancer treatment in the world.

And there is indeed something called the "Whipple Procedure," in which they do something more than squeeze your Charmin:
http://pathology2.jhu.edu/pancreas/whipple.cfm

And the chances for survival do indeed seem to be much greater at a place like JH:
The mortality rate for Whipple procedures (pancreaticoduodenectomy) at low-volume centers (16.3%) was much greater than the mortality rate at high-volume centers (3.8%). From their analyses the authors conclude that patients "can significantly reduce their risk of operative death by selecting a high-volume hospital." High-volume centers were defined in this study as centers that perform more than 16 whipples per year. Last year close to 240 whipples were performed at Johns Hopkins.
http://pathology2.jhu.edu/pancreas/surgicaltx.cfm

Not saying Undie's thing is legit, just providing info.

255 posted on 05/10/2005 2:41:11 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Undie the Fundee.)
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To: franksolich

Yeah, I saw that. That's what I get for posting as I read, rather than reading everything first. Sorry.


256 posted on 05/10/2005 2:43:31 PM PDT by Purrcival (Oh, what a tangled web Undie appears to be weaving...)
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To: Charles Henrickson

Right; I think most members of the temporary DUMMIE ALERT! ping list have learned a lot about pancreatic cancer the past couple of days, including this information in greater depth that you found.

However, like the Rock of Gibraltar, which only God can shatter, I firmly believe that this is a fraud, and a sick one at that; it mocks those who really need medical assistance, those who are really suffering from cancer.

It is possible the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson is ill--of something; perhaps what you have already suggested, or perhaps the alcoholic blues, or perhaps the chubby depression, or even the collywobbles.....but surely not pancreatic cancer.

I believe it is a fraud, and many hours ago--about the first DUMMIE ALERT! of the day, early in the morning--I got to the point where no human agency, only God, can alter this belief of mine.


257 posted on 05/10/2005 2:47:36 PM PDT by franksolich (crime never pays)
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To: PJ-Comix
Also genetic. It is a scientific fact that only Presbyterian stomachs from the Midwest can digest summer sausages.

Unless they have garlic & then Lutheran's from the Midwest can digest 'em too.

258 posted on 05/10/2005 2:49:05 PM PDT by GoLightly
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To: Charles Henrickson

A Reader's Digest condensed version of my previous comments:

The DUmmies have lied so much that one cannot even believe their lies to be lies.


259 posted on 05/10/2005 2:52:40 PM PDT by franksolich (crime never pays)
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To: franksolich

Certainly the Doughboy's previous, repeated appeals for dough and his previous involvement with BBV Harris give one pause. And the manner in which this appeal has taken place--the lack of accountability and verifiability--lends itself quite readily to it being a scam.


260 posted on 05/10/2005 2:58:46 PM PDT by Charles Henrickson (Undie the Fundee.)
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