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DUmmie FUnnies 05-06-05 ("TomPaine.com: What didn't happen in Ohio")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | May 6, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 05/06/2005 4:03:32 PM PDT by PJ-Comix

DUmmieland is in an uproar because the Leftwing TomPaine.Com website published an article claiming that there was NO vote fraud conspiracy in Ohio. This is heresy in the eyes of the DUmmies because one of their most treasured beliefs is that the EVIL Republicans STOLE the election by rigging the votes in Ohio. One side effect of this belief is that it made Bev Harris a very rich woman since she scammed the DUmmies for at least $300,000 by making them think she was only $10 away from proving vote fraud in Ohio. There are actually two DUmmie threads expressing their OUTRAGE over the TomPaine.Com article. The first THREAD is titled, "’What Didn't Happen in Ohio’ This article DEMANDS a response!” and the second THREAD is simply titled, “TomPaine.com: What didn't happen in Ohio.” Both these threads have the typical lunatic DUmmie responses so both will be DUFUed. As usual, the rantings of the DUmmies unable to let go of their sacred Ohio vote fraud beliefs are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, with $10 in his pocket that he did NOT send to Bev Harris, is in the [brackets]:

“For casting doubt on the conspiracy theory, TomPaine.com and I received virtual barrels of e-mail, most from angry anti-Bush activists who could not believe that their hard work had been for naught. I also heard from Steven Freeman, a University of Pennsylvania professor and author of a widely cited study that served as the primary basis for the pro-theft-theory folks, The Unexplained Exit Poll Discrepancy . His remarks, and my response to them, appeared on TomPaine.com.”

[For casting doubt on the Ohio vote fraud conspiracy, I brand you a HERETIC!!! Let the Auto Da Fe begin!]

“Privately, I heard from many Democratic officials, election reform advocates and analysts from inside Ohio and elsewhere, who believed my reporting to be accurate, and who were more than a little perturbed by the frenzy, which they found a counterproductive distraction from the serious ongoing effort to reform election practices. Since the debate refuses to die, this seems a good time to trumpet the arrival of not just one, but two, new technical analyses that cast further doubt upon the conspiracy theories out there. The author of the first is an earnest young fellow in San Diego named Rick Brady.”

[Privately I’ve heard that the only loons left believing in the Ohio vote fraud conspiracy are the DUmmies and Teh-RAY-suh Heinz.]

”So, absent the emergence of true polling methodology experts screaming theft, we may reasonably conclude that no evil genius rigged the results. Instead, what we experienced was probably an amalgam of system failings, miscalculations, incompetence, and, in some cases, the variably successful exertions of biased election officials. These are, at worst, symptoms of gaming the system, a deplorable practice hardly limited to this election or, historically, to one party. The anomalies being cited, including by Christopher Hitchens—apparently without any notable independent verification—in a widely cited Vanity Fair piece, may prove to be invalid, or attributable as well to other factors. Perhaps fraud occurred on an isolated basis, but no one has come forward with careful documentation—as opposed to hysterical—unscientific allegation.”

[No! No! Don’t wanna hear this! Don’t you know that Karl Rove was the EVIL genius that rigged the election?]

“Until the public becomes confident in the underlying integrity of the electoral apparatus in this country, none of the urgently needed improvements to that system can take place. That’s why the conspiracy-mongering must cease. Can we instead please turn now to the many substantive proposals already being proffered to make things better—including pending legislation? Let’s keep our eye on the real ball that’s in our court.”

[Hey! Don’t tell me when I have to cease my mongering! Now that we have seen portions of this article, let us now take a look at the DUmmie outraged reaction to it.]

Bullshit! I saw it with my own eyes. I heard it w/ my own ears. I live in Columbus, Ohio too.

[And I saw space aliens land on Washington Mall with my own eyes. I heard it w/ my own ears. I live in the state of Insanity.]

Congratulations! More self-defeating bullshit, naysaying. Wunderbar!

[When even the far left TomPaine website thinks that the DUmmies are a bunch of moonbats, you know they are really far gone.]

Two very close elections. Two Republican Secs of State. Both Republican Secs of State doing double duty as Bush's state campaign chairs. Diebold machines manufactured and in use in key counties in both states. Big GOP donors running Diebold. Not least, a strong racist undertone re voter-access -- longer lines in heavy black precincts, etc. In sum, that is the infrastructure of cheating. Bush-Cheney cheated. Kerry-Edwards won.

[You certainly do present a convincing case…. that your oxygen supply was turned off at a young age.]

WE ARE NOT GOING TO STOP UNTIL JUSTICE IS DONE!

[THE COMEDY WILL NEVER END!]

I just emailed Russ Baker begging him to tell me this is satire.

[So sorry. It’s the bitter truth.]

my response is that he's right on…And I would add that I've suspected for a long time that some of the "activism" is actually intended to deliberately create and nourish unwarranted distrust in the system for malicious reasons.

[And this Dummie wins a Kewpie doll for having a very brief moment of mental clarity!]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: andyscam; battleground; dummies; voterfraud
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To: LUV W

Sure.... Johns Hopkins is a dump compared to the pristine hospital I was in last year where they actually made you sleep the night before surgery! /sarcasm

What a BSer....

Can't WAIT to hear the next story!


161 posted on 05/09/2005 9:51:22 PM PDT by Dashing Dasher (Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.)
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To: Dashing Dasher

Me either! This is just....goooood!


162 posted on 05/09/2005 9:53:42 PM PDT by luvie ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: LUV W

Doesn't he look like the guy on Conan O'Brien?

Wouldn't it be hilarious if it was and it was a BIG GOOF perpetrated by the Conan O'Brien Show?

LOL!!!


163 posted on 05/09/2005 10:01:20 PM PDT by Dashing Dasher (Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.)
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To: franksolich

Thought you'd appreciate this....

Save Andy - And Save America, Too!
by Thom Hartmann

www.OpEdNews.com

Just as we occasionally see community fundraising efforts surface with donation collection cans in convenience stores for local folks experiencing medical emergencies, today the progressive community is working to save one of its own.

Andy Stephenson is an activist, a vigilant worker on behalf of clean voting in America. He has worked tirelessly to help uncover details of electronic voting fraud in the 2000, 2002, and 2004 elections. He's devoted years of his life to making America a more democratic nation.

And now his friends are passing the hat to help pay for surgery to save him from pancreatic cancer. The surgery will cost around $50,000, but the hospital wants $25,000 up-front before they'll begin. People can send contributions to Andy Stephenson, P O Box 25624, Seattle, WA 98165-1124, or can visit Paypal and contribute to email address Andy_Stephenson@comcast.net .

We are the only developed democracy in the world where such a spectacle could take place.

Dickens wrote about such horrors in Victorian England - Bob Cratchit's son, Tiny Tim, in need of medical care that was unavailable without a wealthy patron like Ebenezer Scrooge - but the UK has since awakened and become civilized.

Even the tyrants of Communist China provide health care to their people, a bitter irony for the unemployed American factory workers they've displaced, and the Wal-Mart workers who sell their goods.

Andy Stephenson's story is something that could only happen in an oligarchic banana republic - or in the USA.

We live in a nation that can afford for Bill Frist's family to make billions of dollars by taking formerly public hospitals and health-care facilities and privatizing them, adding to an explosion in the cost of health care, but claims it can't afford national health insurance.

We have the most expensive health-care system in the world, but are 27th in the world in the quality of our health.

We've produced health-care billionaires and millionaires in America, but have 45 million uninsured.

And even health insurance in America is not much damn good - about a quarter of all bankruptcies last year in this nation were among insured people who were wiped out by co-pays, deductibles, and "non-covered" hospital and health care expenses. (Of course, thanks to the efforts of the good Dr. Frist, along with 100 percent of Congress's Republicans, George Bush Junior, and a toxic handful of Democrats, such bankruptcies will be infinitely more difficult in the future.)

Ever since Democratic President Harry Truman proposed a national, single-payer health insurance system, Republicans and "conservative" Democrats have fought it. Nonetheless, LBJ did manage to slip a single-payer system through Congress, in the form of Medicare.

And Medicare terrifies the corporate cons, because it has the potential - with a single stroke of legislation - to overnight become a program that covers every American, a national single-payer heath insurance system.

This is one reason why Republicans inserted a poisoned drug benefit into it - mandating that Medicare cannot negotiate wholesale prices with drug companies but must always pay full retail. Thus Medicare's "crisis" - the next domestic terror attack by the cons - isn't forty years down the road, but will come in the next year or two.

Medicare is today tottering on the edge of running in the red, and the drug benefit will push it over that edge. Cons in the right-wing think tanks and in Congress are hoping the upcoming Medicare financial "crisis" will provide a good excuse to then privatize it and kill it off.

Yet Medicare is spectacularly successful. While private for-profit insurance companies (and HMOs, PPOs, etc.) keep anywhere from $15 to $35 of every $100 that passes through their fingers to pay for stockholder dividends, profits, multimillionaire CEO salaries, private jets, marketing, fancy headquarters, and an army of phone banks to deny claims, Medicare keeps only $2 to $3 of every $100.

There are some things that government does do better than private for-profit industry, and providing affordable health care is one of them (as you can see with a visit to Japan, Germany, or any other advanced nation whose system isn't under assault from corporate cons).

While George Bush Junior (who hates to be called "junior") whines about a Social Security system that won't face a crisis for another forty years, Andy Stephenson is facing a crisis today. As are tens of millions of other Americans.

We can help Andy to survive and return to his work by sending him a donation today. And we must help America awaken and become the sane and civilized nation we have always thought ourselves to be by expanding Medicare to cover all Americans.


Thom Hartmann's website is www.thomhartmann.com.
--


164 posted on 05/09/2005 10:02:27 PM PDT by Dashing Dasher (Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.)
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To: Dashing Dasher

It's a BIG GOOF okay, but not sure where from. This guy has got to be a penny-ante scam artist--but the DUmmies just keep on giving to the likes of him and ole BBV Bev!


165 posted on 05/09/2005 10:07:22 PM PDT by luvie ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: LUV W; franksolich; PJ-Comix

I wonder if, tomorrow, we might be changing the title of this thread to "What Didn't Happen in Baltimore"?


166 posted on 05/09/2005 10:27:19 PM PDT by Purrcival (Senators, PLEASE cut the crap and CONFIRM BOLTON AND BUSH'S JUDICIAL NOMINEES!!!!!)
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To: Purrcival
:o)
167 posted on 05/09/2005 10:31:15 PM PDT by luvie ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: ReeWalker; speed_addiction; Dashing Dasher; codercpc; Deetes; PJ-Comix; Roscoe Karns; feefee; ...
This is too old to be a DUMMIE ALERT!, as it is from mid-afternoon, but some issues that may arise tomorrow (Tuesday) in DUmmieland.

scubed (634 posts) Mon May-09-05 03:43 PM Original message ANDY WILL HAVE HIS SURGERY TOMORROW - RELAX! Andy has a check to give the hospital to cover the amount they have not already received. It's a loan against the money that has been donated, in case Pay-Pay can't be unlocked today. No way are we going to let Andy miss his surgery!I did reach someone in disputes resolutions, who did take the issue seriously and promised to work on it. Also, sfexpat is working with paypal and the hospital.

Uh, one wonders if that "check" is any good, or its source. The felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson does have a "friend" who works for Johns Hopkins--a computer programmer, or keyboardist, or something like that--and one wonders if that "friend" has put his income and job-security on the line.

Also, two days ago, the DUmmie "flyarm" stated bluntly that the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson had "gotten into" Johns Hopkins under false pretenses, lies, and moaned to the DUmmies that her husband "might" lose his job because of it.

In any case, I seriously doubt the DUmmies have culled even the first $25,000 (of the $50,000 allegedly needed) from Paypal, amazon, checks in the mail, or this "loan."

Maat (1000+ posts) Mon May-09-05 03:52 PM Response to Original message 8. Also, I hope Skinner and the Adms and the Mods forgive Andy for putting a thread up (that got locked), and I'm sure they have or don't think there is anything to forgive.Andy's under a whole lot of pressure.We found a way to get things done without breaking DU rules.We need Andy thinking about getting well.Kudos to all DUers!I still say this will go down as one of the better Progressive Movement actions in the long run.Supporting Air America will be another.

I remain curious; why did the Grand DUmmie "Skinner" "lock" those fund-raising threads?

What were the DUmmie "rules" that got violated?

seabeyond (1000+ posts) Mon May-09-05 03:53 PM Response to Original message 10. you need to get more donations, from checks that arent going to be received, but promised. and from fees attached to these orginizationsi think

"You need to get more donations....."

Ah, a perceptive DUmmie.....

Stay tuned.....Okay, I need to go to bed now.

168 posted on 05/09/2005 11:52:56 PM PDT by franksolich (crime never pays)
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To: franksolich

Johns Hopkins Hospital
Information
(410) 955-5000

Patient Information
(410) 502-4000

I guess ask for Andy Stephenson's room.


169 posted on 05/10/2005 4:55:47 AM PDT by speed_addiction (If you expect the worse out of everybody, you won't be disappointed___Frank Castle)
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To: ReeWalker; speed_addiction; Dashing Dasher; codercpc; Deetes; PJ-Comix; Roscoe Karns; feefee; ...
DUMMIE ALERT!


DUMMIE ALERT!


DUMMIE ALERT!


DUMMIE ANDY STEPHENSON NOT IN JOHNS HOPKINS!


Image hosted by Photobucket.com
Image hosted by Photobucket.com


Per the suggestion of our man speed_addiction, I telephoned Johns Hopkins to learn the status of the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson, who was "scheduled" for surgery at 7:30 a.m. (6:30 a.m. Nebraska time).

I placed this telephone call at 7:15 a.m. (Nebraska time; 8:15 a.m. Johns Hopkins time).

Andy Stephenson is NOT in Johns Hopkins.

I repeat that; the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson is NOT in Johns Hopkins.

Stay tuned.

170 posted on 05/10/2005 5:25:13 AM PDT by franksolich (crime never pays)
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To: franksolich

Holy Crap


171 posted on 05/10/2005 5:38:59 AM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: SCALEMAN

That's what I thought.


172 posted on 05/10/2005 5:39:36 AM PDT by franksolich (crime never pays)
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To: LUV W
He is in no hospital like I have been in--they knock you out the evening before surgery at about 9pm!

Yeah that's the most mysterious thing of all. Undie has MAJOR surgery scheduled at 7:30 AM yet he spends the night before partying with his boyfriend in a Baltimore Hotel room instead of the hospital. Does not compute. DOES NOT COMPUTE.

173 posted on 05/10/2005 5:50:38 AM PDT by PJ-Comix (Join the DUmmie FUnnies PING List for the FUNNIEST Blog on the Web)
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To: PJ-Comix
Yeah that's the most mysterious thing of all. Undie has MAJOR surgery scheduled at 7:30 AM yet he spends the night before partying with his boyfriend in a Baltimore Hotel room instead of the hospital. Does not compute

Ok..I ignored this part of the thread earlier this morning, but can't now. My deceased wife had surgery to remove a cancerous tumor. She spent the night at home, reported to the Hospital very early that morning and went into pre-op waiting. Insurance companies do not like to pay for a night in the hospital prior to surgery. The procedure now is to give the patient instructions for the 24 hour period prior to surgery and then show up a number of hours prior to the actual surgery.

174 posted on 05/10/2005 5:56:22 AM PDT by SCALEMAN (Super Cards/Rams Fan)
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To: franksolich

Well, we knew this was gonna get better and better, and we haven't been disappointed! Just keep digging, frank! We will probably find out that Andy and BBV Bev are holed up in the same elite hotel, quaffing champaigne and thinking how smart they were to be able to fool the DUmmies one more time into giving to the "cause"!


175 posted on 05/10/2005 6:12:36 AM PDT by luvie ((Freedom is on the march. Freedom is the birthright and deep desire of every human soul.GWB 3-29-05))
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To: LUV W

Hmmmmm.

I wonder if I can find Bev Harris' e-mail, and send all this "dirt" on the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson to her.

You know, last January everybody was getting on Bev Harris, but I suspected there was something rather more to this whole deal.

There is nothing extraordinary about Bev Harris; she is just your usual customary "average" stereotypical confidence man, buncombe artist, snake-oil salesman, and can be detected from far away.

But the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson is worse; there is much malevolence (rather than casual criminality) behind that cheerful chubby cherubic countenance of his.

I am not "on the side" of Bev Harris--bah, humbug--but I think, really, the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson is the "bigger story" here.


176 posted on 05/10/2005 6:20:54 AM PDT by franksolich (crime never pays)
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To: Dashing Dasher
Why don't these people understand that I don't want to pay for everyone else's health care, only my own?!
177 posted on 05/10/2005 6:26:25 AM PDT by lutz
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To: franksolich

By the way, here it is, about 8:30 a.m. (9:30 a.m. Johns Hopkins time), and so far there has been nothing in DUmmieland about the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson.

All of the threads regarding this withered out late last night, and there have been no new ones started.

No one is exhibiting the least bit of curiosity in DUmmieland, about where their money went.


178 posted on 05/10/2005 6:26:54 AM PDT by franksolich (crime never pays)
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To: lutz

Well, I'm curious why the felonious DUmmie Andy Stephenson didn't go to Cuba for their wonderful free health-care, or at least up to Canada for their wonderful free health-care.


179 posted on 05/10/2005 6:28:23 AM PDT by franksolich (crime never pays)
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To: franksolich

I can't believe those idiots didn't think to call JH before they donated $$$ to this shyster!


180 posted on 05/10/2005 6:30:31 AM PDT by Dashing Dasher (Lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on mine.)
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