Posted on 05/06/2005 11:05:18 AM PDT by HairOfTheDog
In the week after First Lady Laura Bush's comedy routine at the White House press corps annual Correspondent's dinner, the uptight right is still Quaking.
Standing steadfast on their principle, the Upstanding withstood allegations that they were grandstanding about the first lady's comments. "Nonsense! We stand for something! Sorry if that doesn't sit well with you!" Their principle had only this to say: "uuuunnnnnnghh".
Though her routine was applauded by most, the unbothered majority was once more identifiable mostly by their clashing contrast with the outer fringes. Asked how they felt about being called a fringe group, the SpokesMan of "Something Very Wrong with That" Bart Hetero said "We don't wear fringe! Fringe is gay. This perversion is clearly a ploy of the homosexual fashion lobby."
The clergy at Our Lady of Perpetually Bunched Panties would say only that they were very uncomfortable with the whole thing.
United Church of the Righteously Indignant issued a strong statement against the content of the first lady's speech shortly before it began. "We are certain this event will be an outrage. Self-deprecating is clearly a sinful and immoral act."
Several members of the Church of the Delicate Sensibilities were treated for the vapors following the routine, and have been advised by their physicians not to comment.
The Depravity Archivists Council, a nonprofit group dedicated to fully exposing scantily clad innuendo in a world full of camouflaged nuance, has released an illustrated bulletin that explains in graphic detail the obscenity of the first lady's routine for those who don't grasp the full range of possible perverted interpretations.
Project Above It All refused to give an interview, but issued a statement: "None of us watched it. We don't participate in anything. We're boycotting." Asked to clarify what all they are boycotting, they simply answered "Well, as of now, you".
Speaking for the church of Most Cleansing Suffering, Sandy Vagina said "I guess what most chaffs me is that the first lady has further legitimized this idea that life is supposed to be fun".
Bravo!
Well better to clean up the coke you spit on it versus what the guy in the cybersex thread had to clean!
That deserves an Amen.
All jokes are in bad taste.
[snort] :-)
The National Auxiliary for Godly Seriousness is not amused. A boycott will soon commence.
Well, once issues such as which hair, which dog, or all of them (or is that a homosapian euphemism?) is sorted out, and the inevitable splits in the movement such debate will produce. So perhaps The National Auxiliary for Godly Seriousness-Cleveland, Tennessee is your most likely concern.
And be prepared for Michelle Malkin's next column, "Why I am Not a Dog's Hair (Nor Understand What the Other Term Actually Means, If I Were Somehow Unpure Enough to Know That the Phrase had a Meaning.)"
Bless their hearts....
Or maybe all this time Paris Hilton has been having Laura Bush moments?
I thought the "jokes" by Laura Bush were pretty lowbrow. But look at the bright side, at least she kept from making jokes about her own last name. A couple of such jokes come to my mind but I would not mention them here. They really are not "funny" either.
In Hebrew, the letters of the alphabet have each assigned a number (for example S might be represented by the number 42, I don't know the actual numbers). Written Hebrew uses only consonants. The total of the number values of the consonants in Nero Caesar (Qasr Nero) add up to 666. Any Jewish scholar in the first century would have understood this, and would have understood that 666 was code for the Emperor Nero. NOT Satan. Nor any of his minions. Nor what we commonly think of today as the Antichrist. Nor even Hillary. You're welcome.
Oh, blast, that wasn't it, hold on a sec:
Hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia - Fear of the number 666.
Panophobia or Pantophobia- Fear of everything. (I like that one).
Papaphobia- Fear of the Pope.
(Sigh!!) OK, third time pays for all, as Bilbo's dad used to say:
Michelle Malkin has got her girdle in a knot about Mrs. Bush's humour. Did it ever occur to anyone that Mrs. Bush had just joked about about how Dubya couldn't tell a horse from a cow, and was then just joking about how he couldn't tell a boy horse from a girl horse? And this was not necessarily about masturbating horses?? I mean, masturbating a horse was the first thing that occurred to me, but you all know me, I'm sick. How can all our upright uptight fellow conservatives be thinking of such things? Sheesh! And the stripper joke was a cute shot at Lynn Cheney. I saw the clips last night, Mrs. Bush was not pushing the prurient as most comics will as a matter of course with body language and leering facial expressions. Ho hum...
(These same types would take my "Ho hum" at the end of the last paragraph and ask me why I was inserting a Chinese prostitute into my discussion...)
Because we all know that true Christians shouldn't mention anything in any context other than condemnation.
: )
As a Bible-thumping Baptist, I found Laura Bush's comment that "Lynn Cheney's new Secret Service nickname is Dollar Bill" to be the funniest thing I have heard in years.
Some people are not content unless they have something to complain about.
Indeed :~D
Speaking for the church of Most Cleansing Suffering, Sandy Vagina said "I guess what most chaffs me is that the first lady has further legitimized this idea that life is supposed to be fun".
I didn't see where the NAGS (National Association of the Godly Serious) weighed in on this weighty issue.
And now an appeal for sanity from the Reverend Arthur Belling of The Church of Saint Loony up the Cream Bun and Jam.
You know, there are many people in the country today who, through no fault of their own, are sane. Some of them were born sane. Some of them became sane later in their lives. It is up to people like you and me who are out of our tiny little minds to try and help these people overcome their sanity. You can start in small ways with ping-pong ball eyes and a funny voice and then you can paint half of your body red and the other half green and then you can jump up and down in a bowl of treacle going 'squawk, squawk, squawk...' And then you can go 'Neurhhh! Neurhh!' and then you can roll around on the floor going 'pting pting pting' ...
Thank you honey!
~chuckling~
They, and Michelle Milkin, commented at 26.
Gasp! You're gonna get my thread pulled!
Reagan always wore a coat and tie in the Oval Office.
It's like that.
But, hey, thanks for your thoughtful input.
Yes, clearly.
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