Posted on 02/07/2005 6:36:10 PM PST by mason-dixon
After reading the posting http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1338106/posts, I am motivated to provide my first post – a vanity which asks “Are there Freepers who are man enough for a strong, independent, self-supporting woman?
The 150-plus responses I read appear to be mostly from Troglodytes or not-yet-grown party-boys, or momma’s spoiled brats who want a wife to continue to take care of their needs and enable their current, adolescent lifestyle. Too many posts are extolling the benefits of wives who are suitably subservient – from third-world nations. What about President Regan’s assertion that marriage is a process by which men are civilized though the virtues of women?
Where are the men (not adolescents) who aspired to be gentlemen, suitable to bear the burden of democracy? President Washington had a set of precepts of gentlemanly behavior. And when he resigned his commission as head of the Continental Army, a position of potentially absolute power, King George III exclaimed that Washington was a stronger, more honorable man than he could have been. Read the letters between President Regan and Mrs. Regan. Are there Freepers who can love and respect and treasure their wives as he did – rather than expect marriage to cater to their own needs?
Marriage is to be a partnership of equals – each respecting the strengths, weaknesses, and needs of the other. Men, keep in mind Edith Gault Wilson! When you are immobilized, as President Wilson was with a stroke, will your wife respect you or is that the time that you can no longer control and dominate her?
Marriage is one relationship which must meet the needs of two people. This results in compromises when some needs aren’t met. [And I speak from more than 25 years experience.] The compromises are made as an investment in the future, the children raised within the marriage to be strong, independent, and self-supporting. Marriage is an investment in America’s Future – always have that as your guidepost!
I have two 20-something daughters – strong, independent, and self-supporting. I need to know if there are men who are man enough to be their husbands – and my sons-in-law.
Let me cite one more president, Harry Truman. He lived in the White House with his wife, daughter, his mother, and his mother-in-law. And he was man enough to end World War II by honorably choosing to use the Atomic Bomb. And he faced down all the generals of the War Department and all the admirals of the Navy Department to form the Department of Defense. What a man! Do we have that quality of man in our day?
Sorry, you have extremely bad taste in music. I can't live with that for a sound-track, no matter how wonderful you might be otherwise.
Got any AC-DC? Then we'll talk... ;~)
You're right "We're not worthy. We're not worthy."
Helen Reddy indeed.
TS
Umm, why do you assume that the vast majority don't?
Aye. However, you may need to further define the terms of the debate. What, with a measure of detail, do you mean by strong and independent? I have known women who use those words whilst trying to emasculate a man. I have also known others who were independent but not in a way that left a man feeling as useful as a mouldy sponge. My idea of a strong woman is as follows: Maggie Thatcher is strong, whereas Gloria Steinem is a useful idiot.
Um, I'm a woman...and I'm not sure I'd like you as a mother-in-law! ;-)
I agree, one of my tennis partners in mixed was the former world's arm wrestling champion, and even she couldn't put an overhead away! :-)
It will be interesting to see how many you find on this thread. LOL
My bad.... It will live in infamy.... not spelling President Reagan's name properly.
My fault, which I must live with, no taste in music.
Ask around and you will find out a lot of us troglodites have strong independant self supporting women.
And then there are the guys that are still sulking because some girls made fun of him in junior highschool.
They are usually busy shopping for a mailorder bride.
So9
SO9
Check it out.
I hope to God my boys don't marry your daughters. I'd have to have you as an in-law and I don't think you'd be pleasant company up on the lake....
As a gladly submissive wife to an imperfect man...and I can count my ancestry back to the Revolutionary War so I am certainly not from a third-world country...I will quote a military saying: A man can make Colonel, but it takes a woman to make a General. God often puts the smarter, more able person in the helpmate role in the marriage. If she wants a truly fulfilling life, she will learn to use her position of influence in his life to enable her husband to be successful. It would behoove you to study the wives of the great men you cite in your post. I am sure you will find women who deeply respected their husbands and their leadership role in the marriage, and knew how to use their influence wisely.
After 25 years of being married to my best friend, marriage is not a partnership of equals. That is a business partnership, and you damned well better bring an ironclad contract with you.
Marriage is only the accomplishment of a union where the whole is greater than the sum of it's parts.
If, and only if, that union produces children that live to marrying age, the single worst thing you can do is called "vicarious projection" - which is what you have done in your post. They are not robots or clones, and they see your completed and finely detailed masterpiece as merely a rough pencil sketch of their future. Let them begin to fill in the colors and patterns. You may not like their art, but it is their masterpiece to struggle with as life goes on.
I have compensated for my poor taste in music by marrying a professional singer. Trust me, she's plenty independent, strong and capable.
Regards,
TS
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