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DUmmie FUnnies 01-21-05 ("Captain Pike was an idiot")
DUmmie FUnnies ^ | January 21, 2005 | DUmmies and PJ-Comix

Posted on 01/21/2005 6:01:58 PM PST by PJ-Comix

One great way to get your post count up to the magic 1000 in DUmmieland is to go into the DUmmie Lounge and post in one of the many non-political discussions. It is much easier to get your post count up this way than to join one of the political discussions since you are much less likely to “out” yourself. As an example, let us join in this DUmmie Star Trek THREAD titled, “Captain Pike was an idiot.” So let us Beam Down to DUmmieland to observe this Star Trek episode. Of course, any crew member joining us in this adventure named Ensign Smith is sure to DIE so you might as well start building his casket now. The Klingon DUmmie rantings are in Bolshevik Red while the commentary of your humble correspondent, with his Phaser set on Stun, is in the [brackets]:

Captain Pike was an idiot. Here he is, on a planet with a woman who is HOT HOT HOT!, and is hot in many different forms, and yet he insists on getting back to the Enterprise. And yeah, Vina, in real life, is a horribly deformed yucko; but the Talosians can make her into anything! And what they make her into is HOT HOT HOT!

[God Bless those Talosians. I only wish they could have worked their magic on a few blind dates I had in the past. One in particular looked just like Nikita Khruschev in drag with a horrible garlic stench on her breath. The Talosians could have made her look like the young version of Sophia Loren but could they also have gotten rid of that horrible breath?]

Hubby and I have discussed this as well. Odd that I agree w/ you, yet he would not

[Maybe your hubby was thinking of calling up the Talosians to give YOU a major makeover.]

I totally agree.....Why go back to the Enterprise, when you can be with that hottie. Plus the fact that the Talosians can make her look hot forever. I would have said, " F**K the Enterprise, I'm staying here!"

[An interesting thing about those Talosians is that they seemed like big headed gay aliens. Perhaps the Talosians were the forerunners to the “Queer Eye” series. Nothing against the Talosians, of course, but I would prefer NOT to enter any Talosian bars. Not that there is anything wrong with being a Talosian.]

You're still right, though - if he'd stayed when he had the chance, he wouldn't have had that accident, and wouldn't have had to go back to the planet. he could have stayed with the hottie, never knowing what she really looked like, and lived a life of sexual bliss and harmony.

[That was a two-part episode, The Menagerie. One of my faves. However, I got a bigger kick out of the episode where Spock had to have sex once every seven years or he would go crazy.]

Of course he was an idiot. That's why they replaced him with the best ST captain ever: James T. Kirk!

[I don’t know about acting but I will admit that Kirk can sing Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds better.]

Yeah, I'm glad they knocked him off and put in Kirk. Kirk was way better! Though I wish Majel could have stayed in her role - she was a hottie, and should have gotten more time on screen in that awesome outfit. She wasn't so interesting as Nurse Chapel.

[At least Gene Roddenberry got to shtoop Nurse Chapel on a regular basis.]

Only when Vina regained consciousness... that's when their fun began! It's a great story all the same...And to think, it's Spock (and not Kirk) who had the idea of getting Pike back to Talos 4 so he could get jiggy with Vina...

[Although Spock only had sex once every seven years, he was also an extreme voyeur. Think Spock wasn’t watching the Pike/Vina action on his viewfinder? Which reminds me, with all that advanced Star Trek technology, how come no X-Rated DVDs on board?]

Jeffrey Hunter was a *terrible* actor...I watched "Menagerie" in recent years, and was struck by just how unutterably awful he was. Shatner looks like a genius in comparison.

[You don’t like Jeffrey Hunter as a Star Trek captain? Fine. But he was THE definitive Jesus and didn’t play the part with an accent like that heathen furriner, Max Von Sydow.]

Did you ever see Hunter play Jesus! I can't even remember the name of the movie -- I couldn't take it.

[Either King of Kings or The Greatest Story Ever Told. I get them confused. And I have accepted Jeffrey Hunter in my heart as the ONE TRUE HOLLYWOOD Jesus.]

Picard wasn't any better. See, only Kirk is da' man here!

[True. I just couldn’t accept Chrome Dome Picard as a Star Trek captain. However, he did portray a great Lenin on Materpiece Theater’s Fall Of Eagles.]

He didn't want to be a captive and a guinea pig. It was only after he was imprisoned in his own body that he realized what he'd given up. Fortunately for him, he got a rare second chance for happiness.

[Yeah. I remember Pike was stuck inside of a metal box contraption. He looked like he was halfway into a coma and the only way he could communicate was with a light on the contraption. One blink meant “Yes,” and Two blinks meant “No.” Or was it the reverse? Or was that all communicated via red and green lights? I hate to say this but Ross Perot’s 1992 running mate reminded me an awful lot of Pike in the metal box.]


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: dummies; spaceddummies; spacenerds; startrek; trekkies
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To: cripplecreek
I thought I was the only person in the world that remembers that movie.

Take off, eh! I rented it (again) a couple of weeks ago, you hoser.

61 posted on 01/21/2005 7:37:53 PM PST by wysiwyg (What parts of "right of the people" and "shall not be infringed" do you not understand?)
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To: franksolich

Hmmph, then. Whoever said I was lady, LOL!

I'm sporting a brand new first-ever tagline over this.


62 posted on 01/21/2005 7:42:19 PM PST by JLO ("The Minnesota Nice" Lady)
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To: Dallas59
Talosians......Democrats in disguise...

Mush for brains!!!

63 posted on 01/21/2005 8:03:59 PM PST by luvie ("SELF GOVERNMENT RELIES, IN THE END, ON THE GOVERNING OF THE SELF" GWB 1-20-05 AMEN!)
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To: PJ-Comix
I remember reading that in the interim between filming The Cage and the network picking Star Trek up as a series Gene Rodenberry had decided he didn't want to work with Jeffrey Hunter due to personality conflicts he'd had with the actor's wife about her husband's role while on the set. Hence, Shatner was brought on board as the Captain of the Enterprise.

Hunter himself died in 1969, after a fall in his home.

64 posted on 01/21/2005 8:06:15 PM PST by A Jovial Cad
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To: Mr. Silverback
it's no wonder they don't care if the Iraqis get freed.

They haven't detected any "hotties" in the burkahs!

65 posted on 01/21/2005 8:07:56 PM PST by luvie ("SELF GOVERNMENT RELIES, IN THE END, ON THE GOVERNING OF THE SELF" GWB 1-20-05 AMEN!)
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To: Flux Capacitor
Outstanding analysis of the comparison of DUmmies and the fantasy of the Talosians, especially them being forced UNderground! Only I think the DUmpster is the chosen place for these misbegotten losers!
66 posted on 01/21/2005 8:14:29 PM PST by luvie ("SELF GOVERNMENT RELIES, IN THE END, ON THE GOVERNING OF THE SELF" GWB 1-20-05 AMEN!)
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To: wysiwyg

I wish you hadn't brought it up. It caused an uncontrolable urge to call my wife a "fleshy headed mutant". I think I might be sleeping on the couch tonight.


67 posted on 01/21/2005 8:22:06 PM PST by cripplecreek (they call me tater.)
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To: cripplecreek
Bob and Doug say: "Don't be a DUmmie, hoser!"

68 posted on 01/21/2005 8:23:01 PM PST by Poser (Joining Belly Girl in the Pajamahadeen)
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To: Wampus SC
DUmmies like Wesley Crusher and Ensign Ro.

Hey, this here FReeper loves Ensign Ro! One of the few characters on ST:TNG that didn't make me want to puke. Of course, I have a thing for tough gals with dark eyes and nose ridges!

Wesley, I would have shoved out an airlock in about 30 seconds...
69 posted on 01/21/2005 8:27:13 PM PST by GodBlessRonaldReagan (Count Petofi will not be denied!)
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To: Poser

That movie had the funniest scene ive ever seen in a movie.

When they were underwater in the van sucking air out of beer bottles and the guy swam down and knocked on the window. One of the brothers pulled out his ID and held it up to the window.


70 posted on 01/21/2005 8:27:27 PM PST by cripplecreek (they call me tater.)
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To: Poser
Let's try that again with a link that works.

Bob and Doug say: "Dont be a DUmmie, eh, you Hoser!"

71 posted on 01/21/2005 8:29:40 PM PST by Poser (Joining Belly Girl in the Pajamahadeen)
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To: Poser
Good day, eh? Our topic tonight, is like, beer.

Here comes Johnny LaRue. I'm not washing his car again!
72 posted on 01/21/2005 8:33:39 PM PST by GodBlessRonaldReagan (Count Petofi will not be denied!)
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To: GodBlessRonaldReagan
Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
73 posted on 01/21/2005 8:45:33 PM PST by cripplecreek (they call me tater.)
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To: Poser
We forgot to feed Hoser eh Image Hosted by ImageShack.us
74 posted on 01/21/2005 8:47:59 PM PST by cripplecreek (they call me tater.)
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To: PJ-Comix

Studiously observed. These aliens are not to be trusted. They are not from around here.


75 posted on 01/21/2005 8:50:11 PM PST by groanup (http://www.fairtax.org)
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To: PJ-Comix
Why does it not surprise me that DUmmies are rabid Trekkies? Gene Roddenberry's goofy utopianism probably gets them all hot and bothered, though as Thomas Disch rightly points out, Star Trek is all about conformity--everyone puts on a uniform, sits at a desk, and gives complete loyalty to the boss while he goes off to jump it with the hot alien women and they work their boring desk jobs.

The difference between a DUmmie and someone who recalls the original Star Trek as a nice childhood memory is that someone like, uh, me saw those old episodes 30 years ago and enjoyed them, and now has fond memories; not only does a DUmmie have all the gawdawful PC-liberal followup shows on DVD, they're drinking from Star Trek cups and wore Spockears to their weddings.

76 posted on 01/21/2005 9:07:30 PM PST by Darkwolf377 (DUmmies = Star Trek fans whose DVD players broke)
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To: PJ-Comix
[An interesting thing about those Talosians is that they seemed like big headed gay aliens. Perhaps the Talosians were the forerunners to the “Queer Eye” series. Nothing against the Talosians, of course, but I would prefer NOT to enter any Talosian bars. Not that there is anything wrong with being a Talosian.]

ROTFLMAO!

PJ YOU RULE....THIS IS A KILLER!

77 posted on 01/21/2005 9:21:37 PM PST by Former Dodger (I thought ABORTION was murder and FUR was a Woman's right to choose.)
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To: PJ-Comix
It ALWAYS happened. Kirk, Spock, Bones, and an Ensign Smith would beam down to a hostile planet. Guess which one ALWAYS got killed?

And, they always wore a red uniform, hence the term 'red shirt' which is now used throughout the TV industry to denote the guest star that is killed off during the episode. In one of the recent episodes of "LOST", a character Boone even brought up the term and explained what it meant to another character as they were traipsing through the jungle.

78 posted on 01/21/2005 9:37:25 PM PST by BreitbartSentMe (Now EX-Democrat)
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To: Dallas59

Le John F'n Forbes K whats his name?
I feel so sorry for him now that he is poor like us. It must suck to lose.
I wouldn't know how that feels, we won!


79 posted on 01/21/2005 9:38:14 PM PST by TexasTransplant (NEMO ME IMPUNE LACESSET)
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To: Flux Capacitor
Thanks FC! Got me a new ZOT picture...


80 posted on 01/21/2005 9:41:36 PM PST by Dallas59 (Bush said the "F" word 27 times January 20th, 2005!)
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