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Oral-sex issue hits middle schools (posted 6/10/2002)
Lexington Herald Leader ^ | Jun. 09, 2002 | Valarie Honeycutt Spears

Posted on 06/10/2002 4:35:38 AM PDT by Pern

Isolated incidents of oral sex on campus and talk among middle-school students of the behavior occurring at off-campus parties has alarmed some Fayette County school administrators and parents who plan meetings on the topic.

Physicians, including one who has seen an increase in sexually transmitted diseases among middle school students, and other professionals are promoting frank discussions about oral sex to discourage students from engaging in it. Still, all agree the practice is limited to a small number of students, some of whom do not equate oral sex to intercourse.

Since Beaumont Middle School principal Tom Mowery wrote to parents in December asking them "to be aware of the prevalence of oral sex at off-campus parties at the middle-school level," administrators at one school referred an incident to law enforcement, and administrators at another school, Jessie Clark Middle, called in parents to discuss a situation.

Diane Woods, the district's middle school director, put the topic on the agenda for a future principals meeting. She said she was notified of a report of oral sex occurring between two students on campus at Tates Creek Middle School several weeks ago.

Without releasing specifics, Tates Creek Middle School assistant principal Earl Stivers said the incident was investigated "both by law enforcement and administratively."

Students' remarks have made doctors and parents fear the activity is more widespread.

Dr. Hatim Omar, a University of Kentucky specialist in adolescent medicine, said that just since January, he has treated at least 10 middle school-age students for sexually transmitted diseases they said they had contracted through oral sex. That's up from six cases in 2001 and two each in 1999 and 2000.

Four students, treated for tonsillitis caused by gonorrhea, attributed their conditions to so-called "head parties," Omar said.

Also since January, he has seen students from every middle school in Fayette County who admit that they have engaged in oral sex or attended parties where students have engaged in oral sex.

Parents and administrators are responding. Besides principals addressing the topic, Beaumont PTA president Debbie Boian wants middle school PTA leaders to discuss developing programs at each school to talk to students about risky behavior.

"It's easy to say, 'Oh those kids are just bragging about having oral sex,'" Boian said. "But if there is any truth to it, you should" address the issue.

Nationally, public-health experts report that teen-agers appear to be engaging in high-risk sexual practices without caution and with alarming casualness. Nearly 1 in 10 reports losing his or her virginity before the age of 13, a 15 percent increase since 1997, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. According to several surveys, as many as half of teens ages 13 to 19 say they have had oral sex. Other communities across the country are grappling with the problem and are instituting policies that require more supervision and education.

Lexington pediatrician Tom Pauly said his patients are asking him about oral sex and telling him they think it's safer than vaginal intercourse.

"It's a new issue," said Bryan Station Middle Counselor Lynette Schmiedeknecht. "It's more part of the culture, more talked about. It seems that in talking with the kids, they don't consider oral sex (to be) sex. They just think it's something they do as an adolescent."

Dealing with incidents directly and speaking bluntly with middle school students is key to helping them understand the ramifications of their decisions, parents and doctors said. Damage to reputations and illnesses are two of the dangers.

"We advise them to abstain," Pauly said. "We talk about medical complications and the psychosocial complications of engaging in oral sex at such a young age."

After Jessie Clark Middle students talked about the popularity of oral sex with an assistant principal this spring, principal Steve Carmichael said: "We invited two moms to come in and shared our concerns. It wasn't a conversation as awkward as you might think. We would rather overreact than underreact."

The issue isn't a routine part of sex education classes, officials said.

Mike Kennedy, acting health education coordinator, said that until 1990, the district had a sex education curriculum. But now, site-based councils at each school are responsible for deciding what kind of sex education is dispensed, he said.

Seven middle schools offer programs that teach abstinence only, Kennedy said. Other schools cover sex education in health classes. But Kennedy said he doesn't think oral sex is discussed anywhere as part of the middle school curriculum.

At Beaumont, principal Mowery said the quick intervention -- writing to parents -- was successful. Parents responded to meetings about how to discuss sexual issues with their children. And as the year progressed, counselors and administrators had fewer kids talking about the parties.

Only a small minority of students have actually had oral sex, Mowery thinks.

"Ninety percent of our kids," he said, "make good decisions in every aspect of their lives."


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To: Lowelljr
It means--I am legally an adult.
341 posted on 06/10/2002 6:24:02 PM PDT by JediGirl
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To: galt-jw
You brought up the state, I didn't. like all mystics, the state, or will of God, is implicit in your argument. YOUR will is fiat, a sort of spiritual socialism. YOU know what is best, and others better follow, or face ridicule, ostracision or excommunication. it is much easier to criticize others than to focus on the self.

Whoa there, galt-jw. I do believe in God, and I do believe that God wants us to live in a certain way. I wouldn't say that God constitutes a 'state.' And yes, I do think I know what is best, just as you do (no God, no 'state', I would guess?). But I don't impose anything on anyone. I do try to convince, when I believe others are hurting themselves. That's hardly fiat. AS I said previously, people are free to engage in any kind of sexual practices they want. I certainly have no power to stop them. Lastly, my religion requires me to focus on self every second of every day, and to try and bring that tempted and corrupted self as close to God and goodness as I can possibly get it.

342 posted on 06/10/2002 6:25:20 PM PDT by yendu bwam
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To: galt-jw
YOUR will is fiat, a sort of spiritual socialism. YOU know what is best, and others better follow, or face ridicule, ostracision or excommunication.

Having lived what Yendu explains, I can tell you that it is freedom he teaches. Sin is the bondage you throughly describe.

343 posted on 06/10/2002 6:27:58 PM PDT by LowOiL
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To: JediGirl
It means--I am legally an adult.

Ok, I am curious, how does one go about getting to be "legally" an adult at such age. Was there lawyers involved? Were your parents willing participants to this act?

344 posted on 06/10/2002 6:34:09 PM PDT by LowOiL
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To: laredo44
"Some do, some don't. If you've got it so all-fired figured out, you must have made a bundle in the counseling business."

Do you really think these people listen to what others tell them when they have their lives so figured out?

345 posted on 06/10/2002 6:38:05 PM PDT by Don Myers
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To: JediGirl
BTW... previous post was personal.. I understand if want to decline to answer. I'll have to read it tommorrow anyway. It is late.
346 posted on 06/10/2002 6:38:16 PM PDT by LowOiL
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To: Lowelljr
Sin is the bondage you throughly describe.

Lowelljr is right. Those things that are considered sinful by Christianty (and most of the world's major religions) are things that we are tempted to, but which in the end are quite likely to subtract from the overall happiness we might otherwise experience in life. It is hard to see that - especially with regard to things like sex, where (particularly for men) the temptation can be extraordinarily strong. And it is much harder for the young to see that, because they haven't experienced the downsides that usually come, sooner or later, from sinful behavior. That is why, when one is fortunate enough to have loving parents, it is especially prudent to listen to them and to consider that the sometimes difficult messages are given in love. The same for the messages that come from relgious people. Most such people aren't out to impose anything on anyone. They're out to try to help people lead happier and more fulfilling lives.

347 posted on 06/10/2002 6:39:29 PM PDT by yendu bwam
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To: yendu bwam
Yes, you are being impinged on. That fist has found your nose.
348 posted on 06/10/2002 6:48:10 PM PDT by nopardons
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To: Pern
How about the schools rounding up some of these young studs and tell them to keep their zippers up!
349 posted on 06/10/2002 6:48:40 PM PDT by Exit148
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To: nopardons
Yes, you are being impinged on. That fist has found your nose.

And then it's time for a good and honorable fight.

350 posted on 06/10/2002 6:52:06 PM PDT by yendu bwam
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To: yendu bwam
Does 'done the rounds' mean she's had 2 other sex partners, 10 other partners, 1000 other partners? If she was married and her husband beat her so she divorced, is she a slut for having been married to him? Does that automatically make her 'bargain basement' material?

Do the same rules apply to men? Is a man who's had 2 sexual partners a 'bargain basement' groom?

351 posted on 06/10/2002 6:52:13 PM PDT by Equality 7-2521
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To: jlogajan
ROTFLOL ! You are soooooooo funny.

Now, I'm trying to " talk dirty to a minor ? She brought it up, she has engaged in this debate, she has already supplied personal, anecdotal examples, as well as silly hypotheitical ones. If she can't cope with this, then she shouldn't be here. If you can't, then neither should you. Being her protector, just gives you the opening, that you so crave, to beat up on those whith whom you disagree. Yet more juvenile and illogical stabs at refutation from you.

352 posted on 06/10/2002 6:53:59 PM PDT by nopardons
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To: nopardons
Now, I'm trying to " talk dirty to a minor ? She brought it up

Dear, you are supposed to be the self-proclaimed adult. Stop blaming the "child" for your trying to drag her sexual life out into the public. You were demanding it. Yet you claim to know better. Really, I am surprised you'd do that. What were you thinking?

353 posted on 06/10/2002 6:58:04 PM PDT by jlogajan
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To: TightSqueeze
Congratulations ! This is probably one of the most disjointed, illogical, fuzzy replies, that I have ever gotten on FR . LOL
354 posted on 06/10/2002 6:59:21 PM PDT by nopardons
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To: nopardons
Being her protector

Hey, we're part of a tag team. I pinged her to one of those Christian holier than thou homobashing threads.

355 posted on 06/10/2002 7:00:53 PM PDT by jlogajan
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To: CatoRenasci
"Or were you a goody-two-shoes who never ever did anything other than exactly what your parents told you?"

This is a very unfair, immature criticism. Nearly all children would be much better off if they had been "goody-two-shoes" and did exactly what their parents told them to do. To think otherwise is ignorance. Obviously, at a certain point, "children" need to be making their own decisions. But they are forced to make these decisions too soon in the current social situation.
356 posted on 06/10/2002 7:01:38 PM PDT by DennisR
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To: JediGirl
Poor you ; and it shows. If you are tryng to impress me with this, you haven't.
357 posted on 06/10/2002 7:03:22 PM PDT by nopardons
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To: jlogajan
Hey, we're part of a tag team. I pinged her to one of those Christian holier than thou homobashing threads.

Except that she has the skill of debating without being a buffoon.

358 posted on 06/10/2002 7:05:55 PM PDT by Hacksaw
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To: yendu bwam
Yes.
359 posted on 06/10/2002 7:09:15 PM PDT by nopardons
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To: Hacksaw
Except that she has the skill of debating without being a buffoon.

If that is intended as a compliment to JediGirl, what more chivalrous thing can I do but agree. :-)

360 posted on 06/10/2002 7:11:35 PM PDT by jlogajan
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