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Oral-sex issue hits middle schools (posted 6/10/2002)
Lexington Herald Leader ^ | Jun. 09, 2002 | Valarie Honeycutt Spears

Posted on 06/10/2002 4:35:38 AM PDT by Pern

Isolated incidents of oral sex on campus and talk among middle-school students of the behavior occurring at off-campus parties has alarmed some Fayette County school administrators and parents who plan meetings on the topic.

Physicians, including one who has seen an increase in sexually transmitted diseases among middle school students, and other professionals are promoting frank discussions about oral sex to discourage students from engaging in it. Still, all agree the practice is limited to a small number of students, some of whom do not equate oral sex to intercourse.

Since Beaumont Middle School principal Tom Mowery wrote to parents in December asking them "to be aware of the prevalence of oral sex at off-campus parties at the middle-school level," administrators at one school referred an incident to law enforcement, and administrators at another school, Jessie Clark Middle, called in parents to discuss a situation.

Diane Woods, the district's middle school director, put the topic on the agenda for a future principals meeting. She said she was notified of a report of oral sex occurring between two students on campus at Tates Creek Middle School several weeks ago.

Without releasing specifics, Tates Creek Middle School assistant principal Earl Stivers said the incident was investigated "both by law enforcement and administratively."

Students' remarks have made doctors and parents fear the activity is more widespread.

Dr. Hatim Omar, a University of Kentucky specialist in adolescent medicine, said that just since January, he has treated at least 10 middle school-age students for sexually transmitted diseases they said they had contracted through oral sex. That's up from six cases in 2001 and two each in 1999 and 2000.

Four students, treated for tonsillitis caused by gonorrhea, attributed their conditions to so-called "head parties," Omar said.

Also since January, he has seen students from every middle school in Fayette County who admit that they have engaged in oral sex or attended parties where students have engaged in oral sex.

Parents and administrators are responding. Besides principals addressing the topic, Beaumont PTA president Debbie Boian wants middle school PTA leaders to discuss developing programs at each school to talk to students about risky behavior.

"It's easy to say, 'Oh those kids are just bragging about having oral sex,'" Boian said. "But if there is any truth to it, you should" address the issue.

Nationally, public-health experts report that teen-agers appear to be engaging in high-risk sexual practices without caution and with alarming casualness. Nearly 1 in 10 reports losing his or her virginity before the age of 13, a 15 percent increase since 1997, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. According to several surveys, as many as half of teens ages 13 to 19 say they have had oral sex. Other communities across the country are grappling with the problem and are instituting policies that require more supervision and education.

Lexington pediatrician Tom Pauly said his patients are asking him about oral sex and telling him they think it's safer than vaginal intercourse.

"It's a new issue," said Bryan Station Middle Counselor Lynette Schmiedeknecht. "It's more part of the culture, more talked about. It seems that in talking with the kids, they don't consider oral sex (to be) sex. They just think it's something they do as an adolescent."

Dealing with incidents directly and speaking bluntly with middle school students is key to helping them understand the ramifications of their decisions, parents and doctors said. Damage to reputations and illnesses are two of the dangers.

"We advise them to abstain," Pauly said. "We talk about medical complications and the psychosocial complications of engaging in oral sex at such a young age."

After Jessie Clark Middle students talked about the popularity of oral sex with an assistant principal this spring, principal Steve Carmichael said: "We invited two moms to come in and shared our concerns. It wasn't a conversation as awkward as you might think. We would rather overreact than underreact."

The issue isn't a routine part of sex education classes, officials said.

Mike Kennedy, acting health education coordinator, said that until 1990, the district had a sex education curriculum. But now, site-based councils at each school are responsible for deciding what kind of sex education is dispensed, he said.

Seven middle schools offer programs that teach abstinence only, Kennedy said. Other schools cover sex education in health classes. But Kennedy said he doesn't think oral sex is discussed anywhere as part of the middle school curriculum.

At Beaumont, principal Mowery said the quick intervention -- writing to parents -- was successful. Parents responded to meetings about how to discuss sexual issues with their children. And as the year progressed, counselors and administrators had fewer kids talking about the parties.

Only a small minority of students have actually had oral sex, Mowery thinks.

"Ninety percent of our kids," he said, "make good decisions in every aspect of their lives."


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To: headsonpikes
Painting with way too broad a brush ; aren't you ? You have no idea what any of us " old prudes " have done as far as school or religious organizations' teachings are concerned.

And as far as some 17 year old's assumption, of how she's going to raise children, it is irrelivant and hyothetical . For her to lecture adults, who are parents, is presumptuous at best; especially when those aduts are not supporting an immoral nor debased position.

321 posted on 06/10/2002 5:32:32 PM PDT by nopardons
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To: JediGirl
Then it's up to the parents to instill in their children the values they wish them to have. They must counter-act societies "evil" messages, then.

Well, when society acts overwhelmingly to impart messages to our kids that many parents believe damaging to them, they are required, out of their love for their kids, to protect their kids from those messages. I love my kids too much not to act so.

322 posted on 06/10/2002 5:33:21 PM PDT by yendu bwam
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To: yendu bwam
a question that has no answer...not one that will appease you, for sure.
323 posted on 06/10/2002 5:33:23 PM PDT by JediGirl
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To: yendu bwam
This is ridiculous, and you know it. No person has argued this anywhere on this thread. Women have an abundance of wonderful and beautiful attributes to offer men. However, for many, virginity is one of them. Maybe not to you. So, if it's not, you can marry a women who's done the rounds.

One of the many? Somehow I never hear of a man being bothered if his bride has cooked dinner for another man. I don't hear many being bent out of shape if his bride has participated in a debate with another man. "Joe's fiancé is a real "bargain basement girl" because she plays chess in a league with a bunch of men" just isn't something you hear very often. [I used that term 'bargain basement girl' because it is one that was used earlier in the thread by a conservative to describe a non-virgin girl]

324 posted on 06/10/2002 5:33:24 PM PDT by Equality 7-2521
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To: nopardons
Whether you like it or not, this is a two party country.

In name only, politics is an arena where abstinence truly shines. There are many people who feel disenfranchised by both parties that regularly employ abstinence at the poles. Abstinence exercised politically at the poles has the ability to keep in check the evil that would otherwise occur, much better that sexual abstinence could ever hope to acheive.

325 posted on 06/10/2002 5:43:26 PM PDT by TightSqueeze
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To: Equality 7-2521
One of the many? Somehow I never hear of a man being bothered if his bride has cooked dinner for another man. I don't hear many being bent out of shape if his bride has participated in a debate with another man. "Joe's fiancé is a real "bargain basement girl" because she plays chess in a league with a bunch of men" just isn't something you hear very often.

Well, if you equate a woman's having sex with other men with having a debate with or played chess with another man, then really, we have nothing to debate. As I say, you can marry a woman who's done the rounds anytime you want.

326 posted on 06/10/2002 5:43:57 PM PDT by yendu bwam
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To: laredo44
"All kids that start off with a wild streak do not end up in the bargain basement."

They marry Prince Charming, and live happily ever after.

327 posted on 06/10/2002 5:44:12 PM PDT by Don Myers
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To: JediGirl
a question that has no answer...not one that will appease you, for sure.

I'm not looking to be appeased, but to get you to think about the question.

328 posted on 06/10/2002 5:45:39 PM PDT by yendu bwam
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To: Dan from Michigan
" SECOND BASE " ? They've moved the bases, a lot, since I was your age, then. LOL
329 posted on 06/10/2002 5:46:17 PM PDT by nopardons
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To: MadIvan
"However I don't know how many other people have noticed that the sixties generation, at least the most irresponsible ones, appear to be dying sooner than say, members of the World War II generation. As such, the problem may be "self correcting" through the process of natural selection."

I think that certain life styles do shorten life spans.

Morales have changed in our society over the past 30 or 40 years. How society acts is a direct result of taboo actions and acceptable behavior norms.

"Perhaps the fact that sleeping around has turned singles bars into Petrie dishes for diseases that Saddam Hussein would envy, people will finally get the message. Maybe. "

I think that Darwin's Law has some validity. The fittest will survive, but those who act like animals will not survive.

330 posted on 06/10/2002 5:48:55 PM PDT by Don Myers
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To: independentmind
She hasn't shown much compitancy in this thread.

I wouldn't allow my 17 year old daughter ( yes, I have a daughter and no, she is now an adult, so it's a moot point.) to post to FR and certainly , I would NOT let her post her picture on an internet forum.

331 posted on 06/10/2002 5:53:38 PM PDT by nopardons
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To: nopardons
I'm 17. But I'm emancipated. My parents have no say in what I do
332 posted on 06/10/2002 5:55:37 PM PDT by JediGirl
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To: scan58
Must be unpaid interns?? Unfortunately this is the course being proscribed by the govt. Fewer marriages, free sex, and sad lonely single 40 somethings whining about not having kids. The circle has already gone 360 degrees and is spiraling downward.
333 posted on 06/10/2002 5:57:11 PM PDT by Evil Inc
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To: JediGirl
I'm 17. But I'm emancipated. My parents have no say in what I do

You know, your parents might just have some valuable wisdom and experience which could benfit you.

334 posted on 06/10/2002 6:02:31 PM PDT by yendu bwam
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To: yendu bwam
To each his own, I guess. As I said in the previous post, I'm very grateful and touched that my wife was a virgin when we married. It's something that means a lot to me, as it should.

To each his own indeed. That you have what you want and need is a wonderful thing. Far more important that a couple share a good life together than how they got together in the first place. This is infinitely more true when there are children involved. I wish you the best.

335 posted on 06/10/2002 6:07:14 PM PDT by laredo44
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To: yendu bwam
You mean, if you 'care' about a guy you've known at least three months. Go ahead. Give him oral sex. He won't complain, unless he really cares about you.

You have just hit the nail on the head. Squarly and dead center.

336 posted on 06/10/2002 6:11:51 PM PDT by LowOiL
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To: Don Myers
They marry Prince Charming, and live happily ever after.

Some do, some don't. If you've got it so all-fired figured out, you must have made a bundle in the counseling business.

337 posted on 06/10/2002 6:12:10 PM PDT by laredo44
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To: rwfromkansas
Amen. I am a teenager (19 and just out of HS getting ready for college) and I find the whole concept of oral sex to be well, not just immoral, but plain gross.

Pretty much how I felt when someone described French kissing to me for the first time. At some point I got beyond that.

338 posted on 06/10/2002 6:16:14 PM PDT by laredo44
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To: yendu bwam
You brought up the state, I didn't.

like all mystics, the state, or will of God, is implicit in your argument.

YOUR will is fiat, a sort of spiritual socialism. YOU know what is best, and others better follow, or face ridicule, ostracision or excommunication.

it is much easier to criticize others than to focus on the self.

339 posted on 06/10/2002 6:19:10 PM PDT by galt-jw
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To: JediGirl
I'm 17. But I'm emancipated

Whats that suppost to mean, did you burn your bra, what?

340 posted on 06/10/2002 6:22:12 PM PDT by LowOiL
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