The Ultimate Vanity Thread

My brain | 11/22/02 | FTH

[FreeTheHostages]

This vanity thread exists to accept edits from interested persons in anticipation of a December Freeper's Finest discussion of the Free Republic phenomenon commonly known as "Mudboy Slim."

[OKSooner]

Oh my goodness.

A Yankee from where, Kansas City? Noodlin' is, of course, Mudboy's favorite sport. But I'm being redundant, I know. It involves getting inebriated enough to reach into an adult catfish's den in a river bank, find his open mouth, insert your hand in through his mouth and getting a handful of gills. But not too inebriated to bring him out and throw him in a burlap bag to take home for dinner.

I've heard that sometimes a catfish den (flatheads are supposed to be best) can sometimes be home to water moccasins. Or as some folk around here call them, "mossacins".

Wouldn't know if Mud has ever had that experience, although I heard an anecdote to that effect. Supposedly he screeched loud enough that they heard him all the way up to the plutonium factory, and he threw a couple of adult "mossacins" who were in the throes of the physical act of mating all the way to the opposite bank of the bayou.

But that's just hearsay, of course.

[FreeTheHostages]

Whatever happened to the wheel of fish?

?? No lo comprendo.

[BOBTHENAILER]

We'll be running buses between CPAC Arlington and Mudboy's house in Richmond, Virginia.

If it's free it's for me. Good thing they caught the sniper, a busload full a' FReepers would be a "target rich environment".

[FreeTheHostages]

Wouldn't know if Mud has ever had that experience, although I heard an anecdote to that effect.

Now we've caught the spirit of the thing. This is the sort of well-placed, first-hand report of which good biographies are made. I thank you very much for your highly accurate contribution.

[OKSooner]

Thanks. Glad I could help to get the facts straight.

[FreeTheHostages]

I think the closing of the biography should be something like:

Like a good poem, Mudboy Slim's posting are subject to several interpretations. Like a good wine, Mudboy Slim's thoughts, while at first seeming utterly ridiculous (like the time he tried to befriend that anti-war demonstrator) improve with age. Like a good dying cat, Mudboy Slim's lyrics command your attention. And like a good Freeper, Mudboy Slim's attitude is always fun, always civil, and never too mature.

Or somethin' nice like that. We can't trash him for the *whole* Freeper Finest thread.

[FreeTheHostages]

OK, we have WHO (inebriated noodler), WHAT ('causer of much interesting threads, bookmarks, and $ debts), and we have HOW (he got his name). I think that closing I propose above is a good WHY. We need "WHERE" and "WHEN."

Obviously, for When and Where, I think we could just post his home address and the time for the big CPAC party, but that would be TOO CRUEL inasmuch as he is still unaware that he is hosting it. Soooooo like I say, that's too obvious.

Let's consider, for WHERE, something like this:

Where: The Mudcave, where Mudboy lives with the "The Missus" and the "Mudrats."

When: All the time, lightening fast, Mudboy responds to posts. Except WHEN he's out playing for a band he has. He's serious into music. [that's a little too factual, I fear -- we'll have to spruce that up a bit]

[Balata]

Here is a WHAT directly from his lips.

Whuppin' Lib'rals is a favorite pasttime of mine...MUD

19 posted on 11/22/2002 9:22 AM MST by Mudboy Slim

[FreeTheHostages]

OK, that's a keeper!

[FreeTheHostages]

I think I also have to include some reference to inaccuracy, such as:

Now, some of you may strongly suspect that portions of this biography aren't up to the highest standards of journalistic integrity you've come to expect from the Freeper's Finest. That's for the better. "Some mystery becomes the proud." (Robert Frost/Take Something Like a Star.) The vigorous, decidedly and exuberantly liberal-whoopin' stance of Mudboy Slim cannot be explained by a purely biographical approach. It has to be, rather, sung. And so we'd like to close out our biography with one of Mudboy Slim's new lyrics to an old tune . . . .

[and then we'd have to decide which tune to put up there]

[FreeTheHostages]

:P

Made it to 50 without you EVEN finding out what we were up to!

As they say in Virginia-land,

FReegards,

[Aquamarine]

Could you use this? It looks like a Swiss Chalet Gingerbread House.

[FreeTheHostages]

Wow! Well, yes I could. But I should explain -- YOU could use that. You see, one of my threads will be essentially a contest thread to find or create or describe the best gingerbread house. So you could enter that in my gingerbread contest thread!

[Aquamarine]

Alright I'll use it for the contest then. I'll bet it won't win though...it's sort of punny. LOL.

[FreeTheHostages]

Hmm, see that's interesting feedback. Because here I want to write the rules. Not sure size should count -- that will just slow down the thread.

[Aquamarine]

Not sure size should count -- that will just slow down the thread.

All the people on dial-up connections will appreciate that kind of thinking.

[FreeTheHostages]

OK, everyone, I have a question. How did you all find me? I really don't mind the help getting my bio ready, but I posted my thread under "miscellaneous" only on the theory that I wouldn't bother anyone with this vanity thread. So like HOW did people find me?

[Balata]

Illbay pinged us.

[SamAdams76]

With respect to the Yellow market I submit that Mudboy be relegated to the new channel further up the dial.

[FreeTheHostages]

lol, nah, I woulda SEEN a ping!