The GUILD 9-20-2002 The softness of women

[mountaineer]

First lady Laura Bush, right, interacts with Sesame Street's Elmo and Big Bird, background, after taping a segment on the children's show Thursday, Sept. 19, 2002, in New York. Bush read a book with Elmo, Big Bird and a few children as part of the show's reading is fundamental program. (AP Photo/Beth A. Keiser)

[lodwick]

...Incidentally, I suggested doing something I'm actually good at -- say, diagramming a sentence -- but I was gently dissuaded...

Good MissAmerica link - thanks.

[Pippin]

Good Afternoon! :^)

[SuziQ]

'I DON'T mind the lines because when I was younger, I just looked so blank!" says actress Susan Sarandon

Well, she is certainly the exception to the rule that "Age brings Wisdom"!

[SuziQ]

Our Lady Laura is the epitome of the "Steel Magnolia"!

[habs4ever]

It doesn't get much worse than Chels and Harvey Fierstein side by side.Makes me think she's going to be stepping into the shoes of Liza or Liz Taylor and become a neurotic celebrity has-been.What a future for the gal!

[SuziQ]

Es un toss-up, yo creo.

Si, yo creo, tambien! Harvey sure hasn't aged well, has he?

[lodwick]

On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

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On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

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There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of his airplane."

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"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

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As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

[mountaineer]

Hmmm, celebrity appearances with noted homosexuals...perhaps you've spotted a trend.

[SuziQ]

Behind the scenes at the Miss America pageant, an excerpt:

Kind of reminds me of the movie "Miss Congeniality". It was so funny!!

[habs4ever]

Liz Taylor hasn't had much luck spotting decent men her entire life, so why not be a beard? Chels has very good role models in her tomcat of a father and her mother of questionable sexual preference.She is going to grace tabloid covers for years to come, I'm afraid!

[pubmom]

A friend sent this in an email today:

The senility prayer

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm older(but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it left
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling part.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
5. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded..
6. If all is not lost, where is it and what is 'all' anyway?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
9. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
10. It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
11. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter... I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after
12. Funny, I don't remember being absentminded.

Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10...Oh heck, send it to a bunch of your friends, if you can remember who they are.
Then something is supposed to happen I think.
Maybe you get your memory back.

Let me know if I didn't send this to you

[lodwick]

That is great - it should make it around the internet in two days or less. Thanks for bringing it here.

[Common Tator]

I have a wife and five lovely daughers. They all look soft... but none of them are.

I have the perfect ploy. I give them anything and everything they want, and go hide when they are angry...

Works for me.

[lodwick]

That works for me - perfect plan.

Good to see ya here. JL

[lodwick]

"And when an affair was over, she left a man dazed, and wobbly, and squinty-eyed like some wrung-out old gas station dog -- all spindly legs and dry heaves, sometimes trying to stand in the shadow of his former self, but mostly just staring disinterested into the hot delta sun. This is what is known in the South as being Belled" ~ Dash Goff, the Writer ("Designing Women" Season 2, eps. 6)

[lodwick]

After a particularly rough landing during thunderstorms in Memphis, a flight attendant on a Northwest flight announced, "Please take care when opening the overhead compartments because, after a landing like that, sure as hell everything has shifted."

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From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to Tampa. To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle and pull tight. It works just like every other seat belt; and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised.

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In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling. Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face. If you have a small child traveling with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs. If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite.

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Weather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try to have them fixed before we arrive. Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."

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"Your seat cushions can be used for flotation; and, in the event of an emergency water landing, please paddle to shore and take them with our compliments."

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"Should the cabin lose pressure, oxygen masks are in the overhead area. Please place the bag over your own mouth and nose before assisting children...or other adults acting like children."

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"As you exit the plane, make sure to gather all of your belongings. Anything left behind will be distributed evenly among the flight attendants. Please do not leave children or spouses."

[texasbluebell]

I have been reading threads outside of The Guild, and frankly I am appalled at the meanness that some people show to others.

That's so true, and I'm always apprehensive when I post anywhere else besides here. I watch who I post to, and even then sometimes someone will just out of nowhere say something totally off the wall to me. I'm reluctant to post unless it's something that really needs to be said.

I've actually cut way back since a few people jumped all over me on one of the Elizabeth Smart threads some time ago. I couldn't believe a few of them were actually accusing me of being some sort of accomplice to that first guy they arrested! Sometimes I can only shake my head and just walk away. One of them apologized to me, and I accepted it, but it didn't help, and I haven't forgotten who they all were.

Thanks everybody on this thread, for being so pleasant. It's often the only place I post, though I post very little now even here because of some of those incidents in the past. You would think people on FR wouldn't be so rotten, but I guess I'm awfully naive to believe that.

[lodwick]

Jean's Site

[texasbluebell]

Laura looks just so stunning, even more so lately than before!