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On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have."

There may be 50 ways to leave your lover, but there are only 4 ways out of his airplane."

"Thank you for flying Delta Business Express. We hope you enjoyed giving us the business as much as we enjoyed taking you for a ride."

As the plane landed and was coming to a stop at Ronald Reagan, a lone voice came over the loudspeaker: "Whoa, big fella. WHOA!"

A friend sent this in an email today:

The senility prayer

God grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

Now that I'm older(but refuse to grow up), here's what I've discovered:

1. I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it left
2. My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.
3. I finally got my head together; now my body is falling part.
4. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...
5. Funny, I don't remember being absent minded..
6. If all is not lost, where is it and what is 'all' anyway?
7. It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
8. The only time the world beats a path to your door is when you're in the bathroom.
9. If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
10. It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
11. These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter... I go somewhere to get something and then wonder what I'm here after
12. Funny, I don't remember being absentminded.

Now, I think you're supposed to send this to 5 or 6, maybe 10...Oh heck, send it to a bunch of your friends, if you can remember who they are.
Then something is supposed to happen I think.
Maybe you get your memory back.

Let me know if I didn't send this to you