How to Piss Off Telemarketers

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[da_toolman]

You could do that "grasp your cheek with thumb and forefinger" thing and make that sound similar to X42 tossing off into a sink.

Do this only after asking in a husky voice "What are you wearing?"....

[jjm2111]

I did this one:

Telemarketer: Hi, my name is so-and-so, with such-and-such company and I'm calling to see if you would be interested in our home-remodeling package?

Me: "I'm so glad you called, can you make my house look like one of the Egyptian Pyramids? I think they're neat. My wife thinks it's a dumb idea, but what does she know, she's a loon!

Telemarketer: Of course we can remodel your home any way you like. We can also....

Me [interrupting her]: Can you put an phony mummy in my living room?

Telemarketer: [click]

[gracie1]

I've heard that routine on Bob and Tom in the Morning. The guy has an albumn called The Revenge of the Telemarketers. He recorded them from actual calls made to him. The funniest thing is when he went back to the companies to get permission to use the bits he recorded, one of the companies kept putting him off. He persisted until a supervisor said, "Sir, your starting to annoy us."

[anniegetyourgun]

Anybody ever tried askin' 'em if they know Jesus? That ought to do it.....

[AlaninSA]

Gang, I live in Texas.

We have a great no telemarketing law here. You pay a couple bucks to have your name placed on a list. Telemarketers who call you can be fined by the state.

My current response is to ask for their name and the name of their company's CEO. I then inform them that they're going to be reported to our state's AG.

This usually freaks them out in one of two ways:

A. They hang up while promising never to call again.

B. They demand that they're exempt from Texas law because they're in Florida, Deleware, South Dakota, etc.

I report every single one. Who knows if any have actually been fined for this behavior, but it's nice to think that SOME have been.

[RobRoy]

So I gotta ask. What did you tell the police when they arrived?

[I Hired Craig Livingstone]

I think it is perfectly acceptable to pay people by commission in sales.

I do too, and I've sold on commission before. It's definitely more fair to the salesman that way, and it increases the quality of customer service. What annoys me, as a consumer, is when commissions are based on profit margin, not sale price (Think used car dealer.)

[Noslrac]

If there is anything Missouri does right, it is the No Call list..I signed up for that thing and never get a call. If someone does call(very rare) I just harass them about being on the no call list. They are very nice to you when you tell them that.

[Shryke]

THe police never arrived - I let the guy hear me laughing.

[Holding Our Breath]

Except when the call you just received is the third one after asking twice to be taken off the list!

I have no patience for them then!

[afraidfortherepublic]

Or sign up for the Wisconsin "nocall" list.

[afraidfortherepublic]

Better that they're telemarketing than that they're panhandling.

Closely related activities.

[DocRock]

troll...

[Miss Behave]

OMG. These are all hysterical, Pern. I swear I'm going to study them and be at the ready. LOL.

I'll make them wish their momma never taught them to dial the phone.

[dread78645]

troll...

And picks a 4 year old thread ...

[bad company]

A few years ago I got a new phone number. Soon after I began getting many many calls for a Robert something from business after business. I was nice for about two weeks, then someone called while I was in the shower and let the phone ring and ring.

It was a lawn chemical company. I ordered several hundred dollars worth of lawn chemicals to be sent to roberts house.

Next I ordered triple pane windows.

For a week, salesmen loved me.

Then the calls suddenly stopped.

[DocRock]

"troll..."

And picks a 4 year old thread ...

And since the original poster of the article has a banned account, it isn't real hard to figure out this one was a retread.

[Old_Mil]

"Hello, would you like to buy some of our product A?"

"I am so glad you called today. I manage warehouse where we store 250,000 of product A. Unfortunately, it burned down this weekend and I'm finding it impossible to find replacement inventory. I'll take a hundred thousand if you can have them here in 24 hours." "You can't? I'm sorry then. Can't help you."