Who left the dimensional door open?

what is his CIA meeting a front for

why does he wear a girdle to his CIA meeting?

ROFLMBO... something odd I guess...

The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all of the background checks, interviews, and testing were done there were three finalists - two men and one woman.

For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun.

"We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room you will find your wife sitting in a chair. You have to kill her."

The first man said."You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife,"

The agent replies, "Then you're not the right man for this job."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the agent came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent replies, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. Only she was told to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots were heard, one shot after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman.

She wiped the sweat from her brow and said, "You guys didn't tell me the gun was loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."

A nice body Wrapper for the trip to Spain

Available in S,M,L,XL
Lose the girdles, get the Wrapper

A blind man enters a Ladies Bar by mistake. He finds his way to a barstool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely quiet. In a very deep, husky voice the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Sir, you should know five things":

1. The bartender is a blonde girl.
2 . The bouncer is a blonde gal.
3. I'm a 6-foot tall, 200-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and is a professional weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is a blonde and is a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and declares, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

.

Oooops! I'm blonde.......I forgot to post. What's your name again????? ROFL (blondely, of course)

Hey! My post like Westy's didn't stick. What did I do wrong? See, obviously blondes DO have problems....lol

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Loddy, that will never do... With twins? Whew, I don't think so.. ;) What do they have in a nice truss?

Who's Hottie???

I wouldn't have much to say either if I were you Westy.. Sometimes it's just as well to be seen and not heard..

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Holiday weekend Cocktail time.. Here's lookin at you..

what did westy say?
I couldn't hear him

100 REASONS WHY IT IS GREAT TO BE MAN

1. Your phone conversations last 30 seconds.
2. In the movies, the nudes are almost always feminine.
3. You know things about cars and tanks.
4. Vacations of 5 days require one suitcase.
5. Soccer on Sundays, Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday...
6. You don't have to be up to date with the sexual life of your friends.
7. The lines in the rest rooms are 80% shorter.
9. Your old friends don't care if you gain or lose weight.
10. The hairdressers don't rob you.
11. When you make love, you don't have to stop every time she cries.
12. Your ass is not a factor when you are interviewed for a job.
13. All your orgasms are real.
14. A beer paunch doesn't make you invisible to the other sex.
16. You don't have to take a handbag full of stupidities all the time..
17. You don't have to hold your skirt when you climb up a stairway in a public place.
18. You can go to the bathroom without going in a group.
19. Your last name remains.
20. You can leave the bed in a hotel without making it.
21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to think that all they privately hate you.
24. Everyone gives you more credit for the minor acts of intelligence.
26. Nobody thinks privately if "you swallow it"
27. You never have to clean the toilet.
28. You can be bathed and ready in 10 minutes.
29. You have sex and never have to worry about your reputation.
30. You don't have to make wedding plans.
31. If somebody forgot invite your drinking pal, he will still be your friend.
32. Your underwear costs at least 60% less than hers.
34. None of your colleagues at work have the capacity to make you cry.
35. You don't have to shave below the neck.
37. If you are 34 and single it doesn't matter.
39. You could become the champion in pissing contest.
40. All your face is the same color.
42. You could become President.
43. You can enjoy a quiet walk in the car.
44. Giving flowers always fixes everything.
45. You never have to worry about the feelings of other people.
46. You think about sex the 90% of the times when you are wake.
47. You can wear a wet t-shirt.
48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
50. You could say anything without worrying about what the people think of you .
51. "Play" before the sex is optional.
52. Luis Miguel, Tom Cruise and the others don't exist in your universe.
54. You can remove your jersey when your are hot.
55. You don't have to clean your apartment every time somebody comes.
57. The mechanics don't lie you.
58. It doesn't matter to you if no one realizes you have had a new hair cut.
59. You can watch television with a friend, in total silence for hours, without thinking "is he/she angry with me."
64. You are always comfortable the whole time.
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
66. You don't have to drive to another service station because this one is dirty.
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer can/bottle.
68. You can sit down with your legs open without caring who is looking.
69 Same work... but pay.
70. Gray hair and wrinkles look good.
72. Wedding Dress $2000; Rented suit: $60.
73. It doesn't matter to you if someone speaks behind your back.
74. Always there is any party in the television.
75. You don't eat pieces of desserts of another.
77. The remote control belongs to you .
78. The people never look at your chest when they speak you.
80. You can visit a friend without having to take them a gift.
83. You can buy condoms without the cashier imagining you nude.
86. One day, you are going to be a dirty old man.
87. You can rationalize anything with the sentence "Aw shit!"
88. If you meet someone at a party with the same clothes you can be friends.
90. A good burp is OK 91. You never miss a sexual experience because "you don't want to" 95. The porno movies are designed for you. 96. You don't have to remember dates of birthday and anniversaries. 97. You don't have to fall in love to have good sex with her. 100. With 400 million spermatozoa a shot, you could double the population of the earth, at least in theory

oki is a brilliant sexy blond
please re-read your cia joke

rofl rofl

rofl loddy your jokes are funny