10 Worst Cars of the Millennium

Car talk ^ | 04/18/02 | Click & Clack the Tappit Brothers

[yankeedame]

What's the Worst Car of the Millennium?

The motoring public has spoken!(with actually comments by those casting their vote).

And...the winner is...

Well, you'll just have to check for yourself!

And, if you ever owned one of thse top ten heaps of the millennium, please accept our humble condolences.

10th Place: The VW Bus

"If everyone had to own one of these as a first car as I did, there would be no traffic jams anywhere. At least half of us would be so turned off by the experience of owning a car, that we would seek alternate means of transporation."

"There was no heat-- unless, that is, the auxillary gas heater caught on fire."

"The bus had no heat, blew over in the wind and used the driver's legs as its first line of defense in an accident."

"It was a death trap on the highway- you could never go fast enough. The chances were good that you'd be hit from the rear."

9th Place: Renault Dauphine

"Truly unemcumbered by the engineering process."

At the time, it cost about half the price of a Volkswagen...which was half the price of everything else. How could Renault do this? Simple. It had half as many parts."

"This car topped out at 45 mph. Since the minimum speed on the Florida Turnpike is 40, patrol cars would follow me, waiting for me to hit a hill so they could ticket me."

"From a historical perspective, it's a shame that the French spent their Marshall Plan dollars on automaking."

"A side impact by a bicycle totalled my Dauphine after only one year."

8th Place: Cadillac Cimarron

"GM thoght they could take a Chevy Cavalier, slap some Cadillac stuff on it, add an extra $5,000.00 and sell a bundle. Tragicaly enought, they pulled it off- for a while."

"Hands down, worst car for the money spent. Yugos were junk, but at least they were cheap. This heap had Caddy price tag!"

7th Place: Dodge Aspen/ Plymouth Volare

"This car began to rust while it was still in the showroom."

"After the floor boards rusted out the rear, they would fill up with water and freeze. I ended up putting soda crates on the floor in the back to keep people from falling under the car."

"The only useful purpose this car served was as the model for the car used in National Lampoon's Vacation"

"Owning a Volare was total ego death- the theme song, the vinal Landau roof, the inability to pass another car on the highway."

6th Place: Renault LeCar

"I'm convinced that the body for this car was supplied by Reynold's Aluminum."

"Our LeCar couldn't climb a hill fully loaded, so the passengers had to get out and walk up."

"I left it unlocked, and it was finally stolen. The insurance check paid for a textbook."

5th Place: Chevy Chevette

"An engine surrounded by 4 pieces of dry wall!"

"Plywood floor, printed circuit 'wiring', and no redeeming qualities. It was a 'Saturdy Night Special' from the word go."

"If I got on the Interstate without being run over, the car would creep towards 55. About an hour later, I'd reach it. Then, the shaking would begin."

4th Place: AMC Gremlin

"It was entirely possible to read a Russian novel during the pause between stepping on the gas and feeling any semblance of forward motion."

"The car had all the quality and safety of a cheap gardentractor."

3rd Place: Ford Pinto

"Dad had a baby-poop-orange pinto the year that car thieves hit our street. Although a dozen cars were stolen in one night, ours was there the next morning, on a strangely empty block."

"Remember that great Pinto bumper sticker,'Hit Me and We Blow Up Together'?"

"The car would do 75mph in 2nd gear, shaking apart and sounding like a bat out of hell. In fourth gear, the top speed was 70mph. What's wrong with this picture? You do the math."

2nd Place: Chevy Vega

"When the read end went on my Vega, the Chevy dealer accused me of racing it. Racing who? My grandfather in hs wheelchair?"

"Burned so much oil, it was single handedly responsible for the formation of OPEC."

"My Chevy Vega actualy broke in half going over railroad tracks. The whole rear end came around slightly to the front, sort of like a dog wagging its tail."

And the winner of the worst car of the millennium is...

THE YUGO

"I once tested a Yugo, during which the radio fell out, the gear shift knob came off in my hand, and I saw daylight through the strip around the windshield"

"Any time we made a right hand turn, we all had to lean to the right to prevent the drver's side rear tire from scraping against the wheel well."

"The Yugo's first stop after the showroom was he service departmnt:'Fill 'er up and replace the engine!' "

[T. P. Pole]

I had a '78 Volare. Bought it from my grandmother in '88 when she died for $150. We had just put 4 new tires on it for $160, so I knew I was getting a deal.

We put probably 100k miles on it the next few years (lived in So Cal). It blew a head gasket, but since my wife worked only about two miles away, we had her drive it anyway. Gave up replacing oil in it. Went like that for about six months.

We finally parked the thing, then scrapped it about six months later for gas money (got $500 out of it!). When the wrecker pulled up, he asked about putting it in neutral so he could push it out. Instead, I started it up for him and backed it out. Blew a gas line, and sprayed all over.

Was glad to be rid of it.

[general_re]

Yep, it's a possibility. Not bad-looking, but not particularly distinctive, either. Although I suppose they'll punch it up a bit for the US market.

"Motor Trend" article about the Holden/GTO connection.

[Swordmaker]

My first car (c1967) was a Renault R-16 Luxury model... cost me all of $1600. It had leather seats that were more comfortable than any recliner I have ever owned!

The French DID have some really odd ideas of instrument and control placement... the turn signal was steering column mounted... behind the windshield wiper control and the head light control, each of which had longer stems.... on the righthand side of the steering wheel.

I was firmly convinced "Kermit the green frog" would travel from Tahoe to San Francisco on the fumes left in an empty gas tank! The front wheel drive (although a bit hard on axels as they hadn't quite perfected the systems) was a dream in an age of rearwheelers. I once drove Kermit down out of Icehouse Resevoir Recreation Area to Highway 50, a road famous for having more flat hairpin turns than any other, and never got below 55 MPH... steer where you intended to go, accelerate, and to hell with what the rear end did!

[Swordmaker]

My mother at age 86 is still driving her stick1978 Datsun B-210 with 44000 original miles on it! She regularly is offered hard cash to part with it. It was the only car my father bought brand new.

They traded in a 1967 Datsun station wagon they had bought used in 1969. For some reason the dealer kept upping his trade in offer on that old station wagon... finally GIVING them the B-210 for the cost of tax and license in exchange for the wagon. My dad asked why after the papers were signed. It turned out that the '67 wagon was one of 20 made by Nissan on a sports car chassis with a special engine, superior suspension and running gear as well as a racing 5 speed transmission! The only external visible difference was a little "SSS" chrome emblem on the tailgate. Damn thing was a "collectors" car, underwent total restoration to "like new" condition and was displayed in their showroom for a couple of years until someone offered enough money for it!

[Drew68]

Not sure how to cut-and-paste a multipage article, so keyed this whole thing in by hand.

Thank You for the effort. I haven't laughed this hard in a while!

[uglybiker]

My first trip over Independence Pass was in that beast, I probably still don't understand the peril I was in. . . ;^)

Oh yeah. I know the place. It was odd getting snowed on in July.

[mlmr]

Funny. I remember when we first bought the Renault 16. used. We coulnt have paid much more than you. It was late April. I remember my then husband telling me that front wheel drive was a different animal. If you slip, he said, accellerate out of it. That evening I went to night school. One foot of fresh spring snow fell while I was in class, more in the hills. As I headed out on the hills at midnight, I was breaking fresh tracks with this little car. The back end kept skidding whenever I took my foot off the accelerator. There I was, 18 years old, on that murky, dark snowy night, driving 55 miles and hour on the back roads, in the hills, constantly accelerating to stay on the road, unable to stop the car, because I didn't know how. God protects fools and innocents. I was both.

[Budge]

Any other old f_rts beside me remember the Henry J? Even Sears Roebuck sold the thing under a different name.

Kaiser-Frazier built the things, or so they claimed. Four cylinder, must have been at leaast 50 hp. A friend had one in his younger days. Several of us actually took a short trip in it once. Of course, we had to get snockered to take it out on the highway.

Biggest little POS I ever rode in...almost.

My personal number one was a brand new '64 Mustang. Traded it for a new LeMans when the second transmission blew in front of the Pontiac place, which was next door to the Ford dealer where I had just picked it up after the new transmission was installed. I have thanked God all these years they never tried to drive the thing, just started it up and gave me almost what I paid for it!

Most fun car I ever owned was the Mazda with the large Wankle engine in it. That silly looking thing would rev way past 14,000 RPM and even out drag Corvettes.

[SuziQ]

#1 THE YUGO

We just saw the movie "Drowning Mona" this weekend. The filmaker must have used every Yugo still running in this country in that one movie!

I had to laugh about the Renault Dauphine. My brother had one when he married in 1960. The guys lifted it up and put it on the top steps of the Church before the wedding was over!! There were about 6 steps up leading to a wide landing in front of the doors. When we came out of the Church, there the car was, decorated and all!

[Wednesday's Child]

re:did the Mavericks come in any color OTHER than that pukey metallic green, that reminiscent-of-split-pea-soup color?
I bought my Maverick in 1971. The color was Grabber Blue which is the exact color of Smurf Blue! lol
It had a 3 speed stick on the column which my husband changed to a floor shifter after the stick on the column came off in his hand while driving!
I drove it until 1997 ( 26 years) . We still have it. Finally retired it but it was still going strong. Just could not kill it! lol
My husband loved it for the simple reason that in order to do a tune-up, all you had to do was open the hood. Everything was right there, out in the open.

[SuziQ]

My buddy collects AMC cars. He has the V-8 Gremlin he used to drive everyday, a 6 cyl Hornet, a Marlin, and at least 3 Pacers. His V-8 Pacer is somewhat hotter than stock & painted like the one from Wayne's World.

Ah, but does he have the 'Rebel'? My Daddy traded in his truck and got a Rebel for me and an old phone compnay van for himself. It was cheap, but that car was such a piece of junk!! It was a '68', formerly owned by the Soil Conservation Service in MS. I was driving it in '74' and the transmission just DIED! Luckily I was near a gas station so I could at least pull off the road! The door handles on the inside came off with alarming frequency, and the floor boards finally just rusted out in the mid 70s. The exhaust almost choked us on a trip once. I remember Sir SuziQ screwing on sheets of galvanized steel to replace the floorboards; he had an extension cord snaked through the apartment of a couple across the hall from us at the FSU student housing! He learned car repair and maintainance on that POS. He jokes that he married me for my car; I tell him he must have been damned hard up if that's the case! It cured him from doing any more car repair, though! Wherever we move, we ALWAYS look for a good mechanic even BEFORE we look for doctors!!

When we moved from FL to IN in the early 80s we were going to tow Rebel behind the U-Haul. We made it to Jackson MS, and when we turned a corner once, the tires on the car DIDN'T turn and we were dragging that sucker through the city! We unhooked it, and left it with my sister and her husband to sell for us. Amazingly a preacher from Indianapolis bought it! I hope he had less trouble with it than we did!

[general_re]

Okay, this is good - one first-hand report of a factory color other than "Exorcist Green". Although I have to say that "Grabber Blue" really sounds like it's a minimal improvement at best ;)

[Wednesday's Child]

I picked out the color myself! I like to stand out in a crowd!
When my kids got old enough to drive, they both learned on the Maverick. BEFORE they learned to drive, they considered it the most awful, tacky-looking car in the world. They changed their minds in a hurry though when they got their learners permits! lol
By the way, the reason we bought the Maverick in the first place was the price tag. In 1971 it was $1995. Since I drove it for 26 years, I'd say we got our money's worth! :)

[Dead Dog]

My parents had a '76 Aspen wagon. It even had the fake wood trim and a slant-six. The '70s were a dark time in American culture. 20 years from Buddy Holley and the Belair and we got The Dodge Aspen, Captain and T0-neil singing Muskrat Love (WTF?), and a pointless Space Program.

The thing ran like crap...forever. We all hated it, but it just wouldn't die. After 200K miles he traded it in.

Dodge Aspen..pure class

[Consort]

...1951 Henry J

[Ranxerox]

If I remember correctly, when the chain broke you didn't have any brakes.

[general_re]

"Come, Sherman - step into the Wayback machine." ;)

Because I'm a nice guy, I won't go out of my way to make you feel old by pointing out the relative difference in the age of your Maverick and ME ;)

[Wednesday's Child]

Thanks for the picture of the original ad. If I had known that the car would last as long as it did, I might have bought a few more! :)
And, thanks for being nice by not pointing out that I am probably just a "wee bit" older than you :)
(Could I convince you that I started driving when I was 10?) Nah....probably not... lol

[Johnny Gage]

I had a 1978 Plymouth Volare 2-door. It was a great car.
318-V8, 3-speed manual, crank back sunroof, ultra high back buckets, fold down rear seat, keystone mag wheels.
*sniff* a great car... til I totalled it. I still have the shifter knob as a momento.

The biggest flaw in them was rust issues. The top of the front quarter panels were the first place to go, because at that time Chrysler was not properly lining the wheel wells.