Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

Who left the dimensional door open? - Thread 004
News Center (Online) ^ | 1/29/2002 | Unknown

Posted on 03/26/2002 11:40:31 PM PST by acnielsen guy

THREAD 004






Posts since 1/29/02
5,800

Click here to read article


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor; Pets/Animals; UFO's; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: chat; humor; misc; pets; ufo
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 481-500501-520521-540 ... 1,021-1,031 next last
To: westmex; grannie9
at first when I walked in it smelled like dentist's office
I forgot what dentists' office smell like
(lol I have been so happy not goin' to dentist)
but he had roses on the counter (from his garden)
and when I sniffed deeply from them, I got happy

westy, why are you goin' to see sheriff??
chickie, I have been keepin' my eye on him
he hasn't been in trouble
unless he acted up on Easter?
501 posted on 04/02/2002 2:18:13 PM PST by palo verde
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 498 | View Replies]

To: grannie9
yesterday was april fools day, maybe he overdid it
502 posted on 04/02/2002 2:19:26 PM PST by palo verde
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 501 | View Replies]

To: okimhere
rofl oki I told Dr Brenner that in nyc I hadn't gone to dentist for 10 years either
and I was so happy to have found a way not to go to dentist
(just say no)
but then I had pain in a tooth and had to go
you should have seen how overjoyed he was when I said I got pain in tooth and had to go
he burst into gloating laugh
503 posted on 04/02/2002 2:28:18 PM PST by palo verde
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 502 | View Replies]

To: westmex
are you seein' sheriff cause you smoked pot, tore off your clothes, and swam to shore naked
504 posted on 04/02/2002 2:30:11 PM PST by palo verde
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 498 | View Replies]

To: grannie9; westmex
he's so new at bein' flower child, hope he doesn't get in trouble
yo westy, stay outta those canoes
505 posted on 04/02/2002 2:32:54 PM PST by palo verde
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 504 | View Replies]

To: grannie9; grannie9
he's so tender and innocent
lucky he has experienced girl like me to keep eye on him
506 posted on 04/02/2002 2:37:51 PM PST by palo verde
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 505 | View Replies]

To: palo verde;grannie9
Girls, girls, I just went to the sheriff to get my conceal carry permit renewed. Have to do it every 5 years. Last time I waited until old one had almost expired. The girls in the office were not happy. This time I went early. It doesn't expire until next month. Didn't seem like they were a lot happier this time...lol..
....Westy...
507 posted on 04/02/2002 2:50:14 PM PST by westmex
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 506 | View Replies]

To: palo verde
Don't intend going near a canoe...Might stand on a lakeshore though....lol...
...Westy...
508 posted on 04/02/2002 2:53:32 PM PST by westmex
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 506 | View Replies]

To: palo verde
Well, here is where I admit that I am, in fact, a robot. (Just kidding!)
Upside down stuff? In my current frame of mind, that's sound slightly perv and interesting. But I am assuming that's not the case.
I'm assuming that you too had a case of Monday. (Some people had a Monday all last week..)
Well, here's the latest drivel I had jump in front of my eyes. And Tenneyson would kill me for part of it...

"What the devil is a tulgey wood?"
I don't know, ask the mad Englishman.
"I don't want to speak to any mad Englishman!"
"Too late!" cried a rather inebriated crow. "Raven!" it corrected.
"That'll be twenty four quid." said the short barkeep. Twenty four squid swam through the sunny sky as the evening progressed on.
The tall clock shortly clanged twenty as it melted and pooled into a mirror under a chair. The woman shrieked and pointed, "Knobby knees!"
Sure enough, the knobby knees merely crossed themselves and remained sitting.
"Is!" cried one. "Isn't!" cried two. "An eighth!" cried many.
A demented dwarven tailor ran around trying to sew up a dress that wouldn't sit still.
"Leave me alone!" cried the woman with no clothes as she ran from her wardrobe, it's clutching fashions inches from her heels.
"What is the best position to be in?" yelled the defendant from the bench.
"I wouldn't want to be one." said Five while in the park with the machina blades.
"In the hole!" screamed a soldier diving for cover behind a waddling mailbox as a hail of ju-ju bees flew his way.
The ju-ju bees merely sang 'Oh you can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man - no time to talk'.
The mailman promptly burst into flames in response. The parrot doused him with it's martini.
It was about then that Max found out the stinging in his shoulder wasn't a biting insect but rather a tranq dart. He slumped over the counter and into the mirrored chair.
"Got one!" yelled the safari hunters as they surrounded the tailor. "Didn't you tranq him?" asked one. "Yes, see how he lays so still?" said three. The dwarven tailor kicked and bit furiously at the shins of an ogre as the safari hunters wrapped him in a penny wrapper.
"Damn the Cheetos! Full speed ahead!" cried a lobster as he jumped into the boiling punch bowl.
"Begone, foul spirit!" yelled a man to the spectre in front of him. The Barkeep turned and left. The spectre and the man looked at each other and shrugged, and promptly went back to slugging it out with the wallaby.
"Do you know where I am?" said a hoarse whisper from over the ladies left shoulder.
"You're standing on my foot." said the lady.
"Sorry." said the hoarse whisper.
The horse, however, was unimpressed.
"Showers today and a passing sprinkle."
"We just had a shower!" cried the three soaking wet co-eds from the middle of the spray. The sprinkler walked past the window and was run down by a deranged cabby.
"For the love of it all!" yelled one defender of the port-a-johns. "For the vestibule!" replied his quarterback. "For the mall!" howled the tight end as he ran down the throat of a charging barnacle.
Presently, the port-a-johns were over-run by the invaders from the RV.
Over in a corner, the Inquisitors were doing interesting things to a duck. The duck, however, was asking the questions.
Howard looked around the room and saw nothing wrong. But he knew he was in trouble when he saw the bunny.
The barbarians on either side of Howard slapped a sign on his back saying, "Mace me, I like it."
A waddling chia pet skated on by and hosed the storefronts down with fully-automatic paper shredders, obliterating the days work. The paper carnage was awful, so a ticker-tape parade broke out.
Panic ensued as the crowd orderly ambled down the main avenue, waving and smiling.
"My gosh! Look at the pillaging and looting going on! Will someone stop that crowd?"
The crowd was not to be stopped as they sat waiting for a light to turn. The light's turn signal stayed on as it drove straight.
The prophecy stated that all would come to an end when the clock struck thirteen. And sure enough, the clock stared at it's neighbor vehemently and up and struck thirteen for looking back at him.
"This is the most stable compound yet!!" exclaimed the scientist, who then promptly exploded.
After the melee was over, and the orgists had gone away, an orc came and swallowed the whole scene. Because nothing cleans up like and orc upright.

509 posted on 04/02/2002 2:58:43 PM PST by Darksheare
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 481 | View Replies]

To: Palo verde;acnielsenguy

Palo, look who I ran into yesterday on my foray to Pirate country..up in Punta Gorda...

That Capt'n, he sure gets around....lol

510 posted on 04/02/2002 3:05:47 PM PST by grannie9
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 509 | View Replies]

To: Habs4ever;acnielsenguy

Habs.. this is what a Snook looks like, compared to the other game fish.. Only Snook is Gooooood eating...

511 posted on 04/02/2002 3:12:01 PM PST by grannie9
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 510 | View Replies]

To: grannie9;acnielsen guy
Hey, we know the Cap'n lives en Espana, but lil did we know he's a Moor too ;-) AC, my what a deep tan you have ;-)LOL
512 posted on 04/02/2002 3:26:38 PM PST by habs4ever
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 511 | View Replies]

To: palo verde
Palo... I went to the Dentist a few weeks back.. and she wanted $18,000 to do my teeth... LOL She decided I needed more than one root canal and two caps.. She decided that I needed all my teeth capped to look really nice and two bridges besides.. She also said, that if I didn't smoke she could give me allllll implants, which would of course be much better.. But, unfortunately, I smoke, so that left me out of that great deal... I never asked what that would have cost...

Guess what I told her? Come on.. three guesses and the first two don't count.. I also told her I didn't have that long to live to enjoy that $18,000 yob... F%$*&*#$# loser..

513 posted on 04/02/2002 3:27:50 PM PST by grannie9
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 503 | View Replies]

To: grannie9
That snook looks mighy hefty as well.You have the strength to hoist it from your back 40?? I wonder what's in the water at YOUR place to attract a snook??hmmmmmmmmm...your bait ain't cuttin' it , babe, time to dangle some of your Home Shopping Network xircon diamonds, you know, the ones that you say are from Tiffany's on the insurance form ;-)
514 posted on 04/02/2002 3:30:17 PM PST by habs4ever
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 511 | View Replies]

To: habs4ever
He has a Florida tan..you idjit... My goodness, do I have to explain everything to you...? D'uh!! He had been out sweeping the Mangrove swamps, looking for treasure..

(Me.)

515 posted on 04/02/2002 3:31:02 PM PST by grannie9
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 512 | View Replies]

To: habs4ever
LOL LOL.. Do you have any idea at all, how much I hate you?
516 posted on 04/02/2002 3:32:20 PM PST by grannie9
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 514 | View Replies]

To: grannie9
He's looking for a snook as well, not you ;-) Where he comes from, its sardines and smelt on toast, so he's decided to broaden his palette.I think he's also sworn off salt cod too, and substitued salt petre ;-)
517 posted on 04/02/2002 3:37:56 PM PST by habs4ever
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 515 | View Replies]

To: grannie9
A hah!! Busted!! your scam has been rumbled ;-)
518 posted on 04/02/2002 3:39:07 PM PST by habs4ever
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 516 | View Replies]

To: habs4ever
And you are soooo much fun... Keep it up, snookums...lol
519 posted on 04/02/2002 3:44:49 PM PST by grannie9
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 518 | View Replies]

To: grannie9
hi chickie
your post to me 'bout your visit to dentist is godsend
I'll let dentist do root canal and put crown in on one tooth
but skip all the rest of his plans for me
lol we only have to make it till Mass Awakening (10 years away)
then we will all be perfect again
Love, Palo
520 posted on 04/02/2002 3:59:30 PM PST by palo verde
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 519 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-20 ... 481-500501-520521-540 ... 1,021-1,031 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson