The New Hobbit Hole

[carton253]

And that is why Smeagol rules!!!!!

[JenB]

Smeagol is going to be attacked by either a fuel-air explosion, or a psychotic bunny with a switchblade. I'm having Smeagol-nuggets with my dragon steak tonight!

[carton253]

Silly Hobbit! Smeagol is too thin to be tasty. Try orc, Smeagol likes very, very much.

[JenB]

Silly Smeagol, Hobbits don't eat Orcs. Orcs are much too big and fierce for Hobbits to kill and cook. Smeagol is nice and lean and just right.

Oh, all right, but if you are a bad Smeagol again, you watch out... Or else I should put on the Precious; and the Precious mastered you long ago. If I, wearing it, were to command you, you would obey, even if it were to leap from a precipice or to cast yourself into the fire. And such would be my command. So have a care, Sméagol!

[Overtaxed]

remember who killed Smaug? Bard the Bowman!

Let's see...and who killed Glaurung when he attacked the Elf fortress Nargothrond? Turin! Bard the Bowman and Turin are both "Weak Men." It seems the Elves can't deal with dragons themselves.

[JenB]

How many dragons did the Elves kill at Gondolin, huh? Most of 'em, anyway, it was the Balrogs that did that city in. Anyway, Turin was a Hero and therefore the laws of reality do not apply to him, and Bard was Destined to kill Smaug, obviously, since he's rightful king of Dale.

[Overtaxed]

it was the Balrogs that did that city in.

So the Elves couldn't save their city from Balrogs and now you're ragging on the Dwarves who couldn't save Khazad Dum from Balrogs either. That hardly seems fair!

Turin got rid of the main Dragon for them...what else do they want? :)

[JenB]

Elves fled their city when attacked by multiple Balrogs, Dragons, and hordes of Orcs. Plus, Maeglin showed the bad guys the way in. Dwarves fled from.... one Balrog. Heck, there have been Elves who defeated Balrogs in single combat! True, they all died themselves doing it, but the point is, Elves are much cooler than Dwarves.

[Overtaxed]

Even around "flaming" Balrogs? Hehehehe.

[Overtaxed]

I'd like to have seen Legolas (aka Mr. Ginsu) take on the Balrog in single combat. Didn't he drop his bow at the site of it?

[JenB]

Legolas couldn't take on a Balrog.... only High Elves of terrible power can do that. Like Glorfindel; he fought one at Gondolin and died. And Echthelion of the Fountain, same thing.

[Corin Stormhands]

Calling all Dwarves!

My axe and I have arrived.

[JenB]

Do not listen to her, for she is trying to incite yet another Dwarf-Elf squabble. Everyone knows those things always turn out badly for the Dwarves....

[Corin Stormhands]

Everyone knows those things always turn out badly for the Dwarves....

Well I'll just have to ask you to mind yer tongue when you speak of my brethren.

[JenB]

I'm stating historical fact! When the Dwarves killed King Thingol in his own throne room, they were hunted down and destroyed by Beren. When Mim the Petty-Dwarf betrayed Turin and the Elf-band he led to Morgoth, he died miserably. I have nothing against your people - but like Bilbo, if I must die in battle I would die with the Elves.

[Corin Stormhands]

I would that none of us have to die today miss.

[Overtaxed]

Legolas couldn't take on a Balrog.... only High Elves

So Legolas is from the wrong side of the ocean?

[Overtaxed]

More Elf propaganda. Never trust an Elf!

[JenB]

It's not Elf propoganda, it's actual factual truth, from the pen of Tolkien himself!

[Overtaxed]

Tolien was only a translator of historical texts. And who wrote the texts? Elves!