Posted on 02/23/2002 6:23:46 PM PST by Hillary's Lovely Legs
do Why Do Men Cheat on Their Wives?
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QUESTION: My husband is very much a flirt. Because of this as well as numerous other reasons, I think my husband is having an affair. I don?t think I am lust being paranoid. Please give me some help in understanding why men cheat, because I don?t think it is just me. |
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ANSWER: Your dilemma is one that is all too common. You are probably right when you say that it is not ?just me.? It takes two to make a marriage or break a marriage, and it takes two to have an affair. The fact that he has always been ?a flirt? suggests that, at one time, he was that way with you. You probably responded in a way that made him feel special, wanted, and needed, and reinforced his flirting behavior. This ties in with |
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the first and main reason why men have affairs: to feed their ego. The problem with us males is that feeling good about ourselves, or meeting our ?ego needs,? is our primary goal in life. Therefore, the first reason why men get involved in affairs is that it feeds their egos. The second reason is what we call ?misplaced anger.? For example lets consider the husband who is really mad at his wife for whatever reason. He may have an affair with some other woman as a way of making his wife ?pay. ? Instead of directing his anger toward her (which he may be afraid to do), or expressing the anger in a way that will help the relationship change, he just has sex with some other woman This action then feeds his ego (because someone else wants him), so he now feels good (physically and emotionally) and he doesn?t feel as angry with his wife. In his anger, he has made her pay. The third reason why men have affairs is boredom. The Bible (Proverbs 9:1 7) tells us ?stolen melons are the sweetest, stolen apples taste the best.? In modem times this means that the ?grass is greener on the other side of the fence.? ?If I don?t have enough excitement in my life, I will create some.? |
5 Reasons Why Men Cheat
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Children who are raised in alcoholic homes, for example, become what we refer to as ?adult children of alcoholics.? One key characteristic is that they become easily bored with life should it become too ?stable.? |
Confidence is the sexiest thing a man can have.
The motto of the modern female doormat, wherein "confidence" means 'having enough nerve to treat me like dirt.'
That only applies to shallow men.
I wouldn't say that, but when the missus says that she's PERMANENTLY no longer interested in sex and there are kids involved and you're both a decent parenting team, sometimes looking outside, if done discreetly, is the best option.
To paraphrase the immortal words of Jack Nicholson in "A Few Good Men" -- They can't HANDLE the TRUTH!!!!!
I've not been this happy in I don't know how many years. My life is blessed with many wonderful new friends I've met through Christian singles groups and dances.
I have found for the most part that the outward beauty of many middle-aged ladies is in large part a reflection of their inner qualities as well. I would not even consider marrying a woman who was much younger than me for a number of reasons, maturity being the biggest factor. Although children are wonderful, mine are grown and gone and I choose not to want to raise young children at this point in my life. Older children at home would not be a problem, but I want them grown and gone by the time I'm 55.
I also know a woman who was once a 'trophy wife' and based on her experience I believe trophy wives must be miserable for the most part. Ofrtunately she realized what she had done and she is now married to a wonderful guy who is actually a bit younger than she is. Can you imagine being wanted only for your physical beauty? What an self-image destroyer.
What is worse, only being wanted for your physical beauty, or only being kept around because you can do the nasty and knowing when that's no longer exciting that you are out on your rear. Because some men don't think that they have any control over their hormones and that's the way it is, toots.
You and I have no disagreement. There are a lot of men who are jerks out there. I never cheated on my ex-wife and the next time I have sex will be on my wedding night if and when I meet a woman with whom I am a soulmate. Men who refuse to control their sexual behavior do not deserve a good woman' because they are 'bad' men whom no decent woman would either date or marry. I will control my sexual urges, as strong as they are, until I am married. Sex, while important, is a horrible basis for marriage; it should be a reflection of the overall relationship between a husband and wife.
Speak for yourself. The fact that you model your morality after Bill Clinton doesn't mean that all of us do.
For both women and men, the inner beauty is what is truly important. If a man has honor and character, it doesn't matter if he's aging a bit. Same goes for a woman.
I'm glad you're happy.
Men only have enought blood in their body to operate one head at a time. Therefore anytime the second head takes over, reason and logic goes out the window.
Proust
I hope no one else took it that way.
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