Top 10 Reasons To Move To Alabama

The Bee ^ | Aug 20, 2026 | The Bee

[dayglored]

Nestled in the heart of the South, there's a reason America's 22nd state is called "Sweet Home Alabama."

Here are the top 10 reasons to pack up and move to the heart of Dixie:

1. Nice people always telling you to bless your heart: Southern hospitality at its finest.

2. No one gets too worked up about football: Finally, people who act sensible about teenage kids playing a silly game.

3. Home of the famous Aflac commercial actor Nick Saban: He's so great talking to that duck.

4. Never have to walk more than 17 steps to get to a Waffle House: A little taste of what Heaven must be like.

5. Can lose 53 pounds from sweat just sitting there: Where else can you drop three pant sizes without leaving your front porch?

6. Always just one glass of tea away from experiencing the joy of diabetes: Sweet.

7. Never have to think of what to say for a eulogy: "Roll Tide" or "War Eagle" will suffice.

8. There are more guns than there are people: As the Lord intended.

9. People there haven't lynched anyone recently: Way to go, Alabama.

10. Within easy driving distance of Florida: One of its finest attributes.

What more do you need to know? Sell your home and head to 'Bama.

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TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: alabama; babylonbee; satire

[BamaBelle]

I looked at your profile to see where you are located. Your catfish pics (awesome pics) remind me of my dad who was a big fisherman, so much so that his nickname was “Hook”. I grew up on the water and did a lot of fishing with him on the Tallapoosa River and Lake Martin. He would make his “special” stinky dough balls that we would use to catch carp off his pier at the lake. They aren’t really good to eat but they are a heck of a lot of fun to catch. Thanks for the reminder of that...

[logitech]

They forgot Conecuh Sausage and Golden Flake Chips

[Alas Babylon!]

No, there’s another not far from me. On I-85 in Auburn.

[dfwgator]

Yeah, I know, Lynyrd Skynyrd is strictly speaking a Florida band. See #10 above.

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Molly Hatchet and The Outlaws are Florida bands, Skynyrd betrayed Florida.

[eastforker]

I moved from Texas to Alabama over 11 years ago, I am glad I did. Alabama has much more freedoms than Texas ever had. Alabama is truly a free state, wish I had discovered it 50 years ago.

[ShadowAce]

oh man, that’s disappointing. I really liked the scenery in that show.

[Tobias Grimsley]

Bless your heart...lol

[Jane Long]

I love the South ... in the Spring and in the Fall.

[Tobias Grimsley]

Huntsville is a great city...went to high school there and worked there for 10 years after my undergraduate degree. Was in the space program and national defense. Moved to Florida after that.

[Organic Panic]

I had a big trip all planned out to go swamp fishing but my ruptured appendix ended the trip before it began.

[edhawk]

Exit 59 on I-10 also, beach express.

[FamiliarFace]

Love it! Fairly much true, with just a hair of hyperbole.

[Bullish]

The bugs, the heat and the snakes ain’t 3 of them.