Mark Twain's actual quote in 1897 : "The report of my death was an exaggeration"
He did not say "Reports of my death are greatly exaggerated".
1 posted on
05/19/2026 8:50:42 AM PDT by
DFG
To: DFG
I have read that Elanor Roosevelt had a deep fear of being buried alive and asked her children to slit her wrists to ensure she was actually dead.
2 posted on
05/19/2026 8:54:21 AM PDT by
Blood of Tyrants
(No Jesus. No Peace.... Know Jesus. Know peace.)
To: DFG
3 posted on
05/19/2026 9:01:03 AM PDT by
fireman15
To: DFG
Coming to a Canadian clinic near you.
4 posted on
05/19/2026 9:01:34 AM PDT by
Tell It Right
(1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
To: DFG
Good occasion to reprint some lyrics from the best song ever about rising from the dead at a wake.
Mickey Maloney lowered his head
And a bottle of whiskey flew at him
Missed, and fallin’ on the bed
The liquor scattered over Tim
Tim revives! See how he rises!
Timothy risin’ from the bed
Sayin’: “Whirl your liquor around like blazes
Thunderin’ Jaysus! Do you think I’m dead?”
Whack fol-the-dah, oh dance to your partner
Welt the floor, your trotters shake
Wasn’t it the truth I told ya?
Lots of fun at Finnegan’s wake
5 posted on
05/19/2026 9:09:31 AM PDT by
Opinionated Blowhard
(When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic.)
To: DFG
Makes me wonder how many people have been killed by embalming fluid.
7 posted on
05/19/2026 9:19:31 AM PDT by
Blogatron
(Brought to you by The American Frog Council - "Frog; the other green meat.")
To: DFG
10 posted on
05/19/2026 9:35:17 AM PDT by
Salamander
( Please visit my profile page to help me go home again. https://www.givesendgo.com/GCRRDa)
To: DFG
“First make sure he’s actually dead.”
BANG!
“OK, what next?”
To: DFG
12 posted on
05/19/2026 9:52:11 AM PDT by
Magnum44
(...against all enemies, foreign and domestic... )
To: DFG
Zombie powder or tetrodotoxin? One of the huge fears folks have is being declared dead, then buried- and not being dead at all- they used to use bells on top of grave with string into the casket just incase it happened-
13 posted on
05/19/2026 9:54:17 AM PDT by
Bob434
(Time flies like an arrow, Fruit flies like a banana)
To: DFG
A Brazilian man has ‘come back from the dead finds will om table and lawyers phone number..........
14 posted on
05/19/2026 11:46:12 AM PDT by
Vaduz
(NEVER TRUST A DEMOCRAT)
To: DFG
Reminds me of that Brazilian gag stunt where a coffin is loaded onto an elevator with an unsuspecting person. The people who loaded the coffin into the elevator conveniently missed going up. Along the way the elevator stops, the lights go out momentarily and the “corpse” comes to life, freaking out the unsuspecting rider. The video is still floating around on YouTube.
15 posted on
05/19/2026 12:32:44 PM PDT by
AlaskaErik
(There are three kinds of rats: Rats, Damned Rats, and DemocRats.)
To: DFG
A wake is to ensure deadness.
Didn't pass the deadness test.
If you embalm before the Wake you're not doing it right.
16 posted on
05/19/2026 12:37:55 PM PDT by
right way right
(“May we remain sober over mere men, for God really is our only true hope.)
To: DFG; Kenny Bania; Darksheare; Pete from Shawnee Mission; Red Badger; nickcarraway; ...
Vivisepulture Ping!
(The very exclusive, almost moribund Vivisepulture Ping)
To: DFG; Pete from Shawnee Mission
Why does this happen so often in Brazil?
To: DFG; Pete from Shawnee Mission
Why does this happen so often in Brazil?
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