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Poll Shows Majority Of Democrats Believe Lincoln Assassination Staged
The Bee ^ | Apr 29, 2026 | The Bee

Posted on 04/30/2026 10:14:31 AM PDT by dayglored

U.S. — The growing rift between the political right and left in the country became even more evident this week, as a new poll showed that a majority of Democrats believe the Lincoln assassination was staged.

Though long held to be a historical fact, a plurality of Democratic voters went on record in a research study to confirm that they now suspect that President Abraham Lincoln was never actually assassinated by John Wilkes Booth, and that the entire incident was simply an elaborate hoax.

"That whole situation was suspicious," lifelong Democrat Dean Stinson posted on social media. "Sure, the government and the educational system want you to believe that President Lincoln was shot by John Wilkes Booth at Ford's Theater, but let's be honest here, things don't add up. First of all, do you know what John Wilkes Booth did for a living? That's right — he was an actor. Actors literally spend their time playing roles and pretending. Sounds like just the guy you'd want to pull off a staged assassination, am I right?"

A majority of those who participated in the poll agreed. "It all just worked out a little too perfectly, didn't it?" said Andrew Huff, another Democrat. "You mean to tell me Booth supposedly shot Lincoln, stabbed another guy, jumped out of the theater box, ‘broke his leg,' and still managed to get away and hide for 12 days before he was captured? Please. Something doesn't seem right. The vibes aren't vibing. My gut tells me this has been a conspiracy all along."

At publishing time, a follow-up poll also indicated that a majority of Democrats believe former President John F. Kennedy is likely alive today and living somewhere in the Florida Keys.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: abrahamlincoln; assassination; babylonbee; hoax; johnwilkesbooth; lincoln; satire; staged
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To: MarlonRando
"Lincoln was about to do certain things, and after his death, those things didn’t happen."

Lincoln's plan was to bring the south back into the Union without punishment. He wanted the Union returned to normal as soon as possible. It was the radical Republicans who would have stood in his way. Had Lincoln lived, he would have faced an uphill battle with his own party on the issue. Andrew Johnson followed Lincoln's plan for Reconstruction, and again, it was the radical Republicans who fought him over it. They desperately wanted to punish the south.

Republicans hated Johnson because he was a Southerner. They wanted to get rid of him badly. When they got wind that he was planning on firing Edwin M. Stanton, Secretary of War, Senate Republicans passed the Tenure of Office Act that banned a President from firing anyone in his Cabinet without the consent of the Senate. Johnson vetoed the Bill, but Congress passed it over his veto. Johnson fired Stanton anyway, and replaced him with U.S. Grant. Congress impeached him for it. He was acquitted by one vote in the Senate. The Tenure of Office Act was repealed partly in 1869 and entirely in 1887 and was also declared by the U.S. Supreme Court in 1926 to have been unconstitutional.

Republicans can be their own worst enemy. They don't need RATS to stand in their way. They do it to themselves.

21 posted on 04/30/2026 12:55:53 PM PDT by mass55th (“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” ― John Wayne)
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To: central_va
"We need this crap like another hole in the head."

Yeah, somehow actual history isn't enough for some people, and they have to make things up, in an attempt to destroy established history.

22 posted on 04/30/2026 12:57:39 PM PDT by mass55th (“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” ― John Wayne)
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To: Reily
"I saw an article that said a high percentage of UK students (US high school equivalent!) thought the UK started slavery."

They played a big part in the slave trade. Bristol, England was the epicenter of the slave trade.

23 posted on 04/30/2026 12:58:43 PM PDT by mass55th (“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” ― John Wayne)
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To: mass55th

you are not lying , sir


24 posted on 04/30/2026 1:00:25 PM PDT by MarlonRando
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To: MarlonRando; mass55th
> you are not lying , sir

If I'm not mistaken, mass55th is a "ma'am".

25 posted on 04/30/2026 1:07:24 PM PDT by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dayglored

Democrats aka Dummycrats aka Denofrats aka Demoncrats


26 posted on 04/30/2026 1:07:52 PM PDT by antidemoncrat
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To: dayglored
Because they are all killers and they know they didn't do it.
27 posted on 04/30/2026 1:09:42 PM PDT by Vision (“Our Democracy” means "Our Slush Fund." The Left is hate.)
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To: Iron Munro
"Abe is alive and hiding out from democrats who still want to assassinate him."

I just finished reading a book about the men who tried to steal Lincoln's body from his tomb. It was geared for teens, but it was documented with sources. I'd known for many years that there had been a plot to steal his body, and hold it for ransom. The gang were counterfeiters, and the other ransom demand would be for one of their partners to be released from prison.

Two of the gang got into the area where Lincoln's sarcophagus was. They cracked open the sarcophagus, and had started dragging the coffin out, but were surprised by a group of agents who knew of the plot. The agents had used a former thief to get close to the gang, and feed them info about the plan. The gang members inside the tomb got away, because the gun of one of the agents accidentally went off, and alerted them inside the tomb. The whole gang was eventually caught, tried and convicted of the attempted steal.

28 posted on 04/30/2026 1:12:46 PM PDT by mass55th (“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” ― John Wayne)
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To: dayglored; MarlonRando
"If I'm not mistaken, mass55th is a "ma'am".

LOL!! Right on...

No offense taken MarlonRando.

29 posted on 04/30/2026 1:15:01 PM PDT by mass55th (“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” ― John Wayne)
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To: mass55th

“Republicans can be their own worst enemy. They don’t need RATS to stand in their way. They do it to themselves.’

You must live in 2026 GA.


30 posted on 04/30/2026 1:18:33 PM PDT by spintreebob
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To: spintreebob
"You must live in 2026 GA."

Nope, Born and raised, and still live in central NY State, in a red county, but a blue State, where the New York Republican State Committee has been MIA for decades.

31 posted on 04/30/2026 1:51:17 PM PDT by mass55th (“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” ― John Wayne)
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To: mass55th
where the New York Republican State Committee has been MIA for decades.

Their dead, Jim.

32 posted on 04/30/2026 1:52:04 PM PDT by 1Old Pro
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To: dayglored

They probably believe Reagan’s attempted assassination was staged.


33 posted on 04/30/2026 1:53:07 PM PDT by dfwgator ("I am Charlie Kirk!")
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To: 1Old Pro
"They're dead, Jim."

They're so dead, they don't even know they're dead.

34 posted on 04/30/2026 1:54:27 PM PDT by mass55th (“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” ― John Wayne)
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To: mass55th

They were brokers not the producers! They learned it as a commercial activity from the Spanish who learned from the Muslims. Slavery had essentially died out in Europe until encounters with Islam brought it back.

If someone wants to blame European slavery practices on Europeans only. Blame it on the Scandinavians! The Vikings did slave raids and ran trafficking rings from Ireland to Kiev! Did it for a 800 to 1000 years. The slave of choice was the Slav. That’s the root of the English word slave!


35 posted on 04/30/2026 2:22:30 PM PDT by Reily
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To: Reily
"They were brokers not the producers!"

They weren't just the brokers. The British-run East India Company engaged in the enslavement and relocation of people from India, Southeast Asia, using slave labor to support its trading posts and colonies. They used slave labor to fatten their pockets.

36 posted on 04/30/2026 2:35:53 PM PDT by mass55th (“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” ― John Wayne)
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To: mass55th

Slavery was already there. So brokers again!


37 posted on 04/30/2026 2:49:19 PM PDT by Reily
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To: dayglored

Well, it was @ a theater.


38 posted on 04/30/2026 2:50:03 PM PDT by xone ( )
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To: Reily
"Slavery was already there. So brokers again!"

If African tribes hadn't hunted down their neighbors, and handed them over to the white slavers, slavery might have died out early. No white man in his right mind was going to trounce through the jungles of Africa looking for slaves, when they had a ready-made provider in the Chiefs of the African tribes who did it for them. These blacks who claim they're due reparations, need to go to Africa to find the real people who sold their ancestors into slavery.

39 posted on 04/30/2026 6:57:11 PM PDT by mass55th (“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” ― John Wayne)
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To: mass55th

Agree!
As an individual of British and Northern European descent I demand reparations from Italy!


40 posted on 05/01/2026 7:00:32 AM PDT by Reily
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