Dozens Of Injuries Reported At ‘No Kings’ Rally After Multi-Scooter Pileup

Babylon Bee ^ | 3-28-26 | Babylon Bee

[dynachrome]

Dozens of significant injuries have been reported at the "No Kings" rally today after a multi-scooter pileup as the protest crossed Tremont Street.

Nearby trauma centers were reportedly inundated with patients who had suffered broken hips and femurs due to the collision. Area hospitals were also dealing with a mass wave of rallygoers suffering various levels of bowel and urinary incontinence.

"It's old-person Armageddon out here," said emergency physician Lee Bockelman. "There are shattered hips and leaking bladders everywhere. I've never seen anything like that. They don't train you for this kind of mass casualty event."

Healthcare officials accused rally organizers of negligence, stating that no one had considered the risks of having so many elderly people attempt to march through the streets. "I've never seen this many geriatrics concentrated in such a small area. What were they thinking?" said nurse Julia Mendoza. "There is pee, poo, and busted hips as far as the eye can see. We're getting overwhelmed."

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TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; humor; lol; nokings; scooters

[Sarah Barracuda]

Far left, Jew hating, America hating, douche bags who havent bathed in 20+ yrs and wouldnt allow an illegal in their homes if their lives depended on it having a pity parade cause their party got their asses kicked and they still dont get why

[torqemada]

It all boils down to these seniors no longer feeling relevant in this modern world. Kids & grandkids no longer visit. Communication is reduced to infrequent texts or brief phone calls of no import. Without their captured audience to influence, they turn to street protests go feel like they still have a voice somewhere outside their silent homes. I could feel sorry for them except too many have become raging, irrational Karens and Kevins prone to throwing hands when frustrated by being mocked or ignored. Most have regressed to toddler mentality who resorts to throwing tantrums for the attention they crave. Best advice - avoid interaction. They all pack up and go home by 4:30 to fix their early bird dinner for one anyway. Let them have their protest “moment” if for no other reason than it might prevent them being a constant pain in the ass to their unfortunate neighbors.

[ronniesgal]

it’s not just older folk, my idiot nephew posted pics of the one he attended ( I have to point out he lives in Cleveland proper and the one he attended was in a very white neighborhood b/c he is scared to death of blacks)
anyhow young, old, some of the folks looked like they are off their meds.