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Iran Asks Democrats For Tips On Running Country With Dead Leader
babylonbee.com ^ | March 11, 2026

Posted on 03/11/2026 9:10:57 AM PDT by V_TWIN

69b16cf1d1c2969b16cf1d1c2a-1

TEHRAN — Iranian government officials have reached out to the American Democratic Party for advice on how run a country with a dead leader.

After enduring mockery for presenting the public a cardboard cutout of the new Ayatollah, Iranian officials decided it was time to reach out for help on how to to go about running a nation lead by a stiff.

"We could really use some pointers," said Iranian official Yasser Khosravi. "We worked really hard on 'Cardboard Khamenei', cut out little shoes for him and everything. I thought stapling flowers to his forehead was really a nice touch. The response was such a letdown. It's time to call in the experts on corpse-governing."

Iranian officials reportedly called the Democratic Party's national headquarters directly to enquire for tips. "The Iranians were very flattering. They said there was literally no one on earth better at propping up a decaying sack of bones," said DNC official Mary Daniels. "We were happy to give them some pointers, it's a tough situation they're in. It's not as easy as it looks, keeping the government going when the crows keep circling overhead, trying to peck out the President's rotting eyes."

At publishing time, the Iranian government had reportedly announced the purchase of a new autopen.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; iran; irgc; mojtabakhamenei; waronterror
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1 posted on 03/11/2026 9:10:57 AM PDT by V_TWIN
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To: V_TWIN

Wonderfully humorous.


2 posted on 03/11/2026 9:13:32 AM PDT by blackdog (The philosophy of the schoolroom in one generation will be the philosophy of government in the next.)
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To: V_TWIN

3 posted on 03/11/2026 9:17:39 AM PDT by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is opinion or satire. Or both.)
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To: V_TWIN

Use the auto pen.


4 posted on 03/11/2026 9:21:07 AM PDT by Track9 (Liberal tears make me smile. Thank you DJT!)
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To: blackdog

Dark, but humorous.


5 posted on 03/11/2026 9:21:44 AM PDT by fwdude (Why is there a "far/radical right," but damned if they'll admit that there is a far/radical left)
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To: V_TWIN

Bwaaaa! Maybe best Bee headline ever?


6 posted on 03/11/2026 9:23:18 AM PDT by ghost of nixon
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To: fwdude

Hey, THEY’RE the ones that thought up Dark Brandon. Lol!


7 posted on 03/11/2026 9:24:03 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America....so great even the people that hate it won't leave)
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To: V_TWIN

The decentralized “mosaic defense” is working. The proxy individuals in the mosques are unified in the mission. Their “insurgency strength” moves freely throughout America. The converts and enablers support the jihad.


8 posted on 03/11/2026 9:24:44 AM PDT by PGalt (Past Peak Civilization?.)
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To: V_TWIN

Job one is the autopen.


9 posted on 03/11/2026 9:31:50 AM PDT by clee1 (We use 43 muscles to frown, 17 to smile, and 2 to pull a trigger. I'm lazy and don't wish to smile.)
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To: V_TWIN

It won’t be difficult lining up cable news networks to go along.


10 posted on 03/11/2026 9:35:34 AM PDT by Biblebelter
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11 posted on 03/11/2026 9:56:58 AM PDT by Who is John Galt? ("...mit Pulver und Blei, Die Gedanken sind frei!")
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To: V_TWIN

What you need guys...is an auto-pen.


12 posted on 03/11/2026 10:02:46 AM PDT by Sacajaweau
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To: V_TWIN

Send them a copy of Weekend at Bernies.


13 posted on 03/11/2026 10:05:19 AM PDT by A_perfect_lady (The greatest wealth is to live content with little. -Plato)
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To: Who is John Galt?

Is that actually what Trump has hanging there?


14 posted on 03/11/2026 10:07:30 AM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: Jamestown1630
Last I heard, yes...

:^)

15 posted on 03/11/2026 10:11:22 AM PDT by Who is John Galt? ("...mit Pulver und Blei, Die Gedanken sind frei!")
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To: V_TWIN

So they want to know about the Biden administration, huh?


16 posted on 03/11/2026 10:31:24 AM PDT by oil_dude
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To: Who is John Galt?

LOL


17 posted on 03/11/2026 11:07:52 AM PDT by Jamestown1630 ("A Republic, if you can keep it.")
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To: V_TWIN

Rabio appointed as new Mullah of Iran!

18 posted on 03/11/2026 12:26:43 PM PDT by Nateman (Democrats did not strive for fraud friendly voting merely to continue honest elections.)
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To: V_TWIN

The image that did not come up in the post.

19 posted on 03/11/2026 12:30:20 PM PDT by Nateman (Democrats did not strive for fraud friendly voting merely to continue honest elections.)
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To: Nateman

Rabio is the evil opposite of Rubio!


20 posted on 03/11/2026 12:32:12 PM PDT by Nateman (Democrats did not strive for fraud friendly voting merely to continue honest elections.)
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