Posted on 12/19/2025 8:11:05 AM PST by where's_the_Outrage?
The husband says he never agreed to do household labor himself, even when his wife chose not to hire outside help and kept the chore money instead.
NEED TO KNOW
A man who routinely pays for household help says his wife agreed to take over chores in exchange for the money he used to spend on snow removal
Tension erupted after she kept the snow shoveling money and expected him to clear it instead, despite his long-standing refusal to do manual chores
He asked Reddit if he was wrong for insisting that taking the money also meant taking full responsibility for the work
A man turned to the Reddit community for support after a disagreement with his wife over household chores spiraled into hurt feelings and a snowy standoff.
The newlywed explained that what seemed like a practical arrangement before marriage suddenly became a source of conflict once expectations collided with reality.
In his post, he described his lifestyle plainly, writing, “I work out of town at a very physically demanding job,” before adding that he was “really lazy” when it came to domestic work. He shared that because he made good money, he had “no problem paying for people to do all my housework and yardwork.”
According to the poster, this setup was never a secret during their relationship and was something his wife had seen firsthand. “She actually seemed to appreciate that my place was always clean when she came over,” he recalled, noting that his fridge was always stocked beyond “just pickles and beer.”.....
Instead, they agreed she would take over housekeeping and shopping, with the money previously spent on a housekeeper added to her budget. He admitted, “It kind of sucked,” but noted that friends helped her find work so “she is okay.”
(Excerpt) Read more at msn.com ...
The newlywed explained that what seemed like a practical arrangement before marriage suddenly became a source of conflict once expectations collided with reality.
in other words, once she had the ring on her finger... like that never happens!!
A deal’s a deal.
Deal.
Buyer’s remorse.
Solution is simple -— use the money to hire help.
He should probably learn to sleep lying on his stomach
The mouse, at times, seems to weigh a thousand pounds. And the coffee bar is all the way down to the end of the cubicles.
When I was a teenager I failed to fulfill a promise to shovel our walks and driveway. When I arrived home at 11:00 pm after a party, I found all the doors to the house locked and the snow shovel leaning against the back door. No payment was involved, but a valuable lesson was learned.
Agreed. Unless she’s the high earner and he’s always home on the couch, of course.
Definitely.
My wife occasionally gets mad that I don’t do a lot of housework. I do cook frequently and clean up.
Mind you, she’s a homemaker.
I stated that I clean the house three times a week and do all the laundry.
She responded “no, the maids do that!”
I replied “I pay the maids. I also pay for groceries and for them to be delivered to the house.”
My wife is a lovely woman, but she’s a product of the modern world where she is inundated with crap from the media brainwashing women into thinking they are put upon.
Believe it or not, she understood and tacitly agreed with my logic, but it was hard for her to so do.
Of course the internet can be relied on to show the most extreme cases of the most unreasonable human behavior. But I have seen married women declare that they do not cook. Ever. They do not clean. “I am not your mother”. And now to see married men who do not shovel snow or do physical work around the house. Some people don’t understand that marriage involves obligations to others. You have to do your part.
Your comment makes the most sense.
Often a partner in marriage really does not get to know the other until after the marriage ceremony. Then reality may set in to become the totally unexpected. Little can be done other than accept it or divorce because you are not going to change the other person.
It could also be this guy had some inkling as to what she’s really all about, and likely knew she was lying when the agreement was made, but figured he could changer her anyway. Something that will never happen.
My wife is Thai, and we both agree her job is to take care of me. I pay about 120% of everything and don’t complain about what she spends.
I’m very comfortable with the setup, especially since I’m fully retired.
Sounds like made up garbage from AI.
This guy went to Reddit for relationship guidance. That’s the last place I’d go to. I’ve tried Grok and got fairly decent advice on how to treat narcissistic relatives.
Going to Reddit asking about a narcissist is like a chicken asking a fox about a relationship problem with a wolf.
He bailed on his responsibility as well.
Useless, lazy piece of work.
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