Posted on 10/28/2025 5:59:35 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
https://babylonbee.com/news/due-to-depleted-bullpen-jason-bateman-to-start-game-4-for-dodgers
LOS ANGELES, CA — After Monday night's epic 18-inning marathon Game 3 severely depleted their bullpen, the Los Angeles Dodgers announced that actor Jason Bateman would take the mound for the team in Game 4.
Though superstar Shohei Ohtani had initially been scheduled to pitch, last night's extra-long game led the club to rethink its strategy heading into Tuesday night's game, instead signing the Arrested Development star and lifelong Dodgers fan to make the start.
"We just didn't have anyone else who could do it," said Dodgers Manager Dave Roberts. "We were going to send Shohei out there, but he's exhausted from last night, and we still need him desperately at the plate, so we figured it would be best to find another arm. I've seen Jason Bateman out in the stands for a lot of games, and he looks good in the jersey, so we decided to call him up. Honestly, it was either him or Tommy Lasorda, and Tommy's dead."
Bateman said the opportunity was a dream come true. "I can't stop pinching myself," the actor told reporters after being announced as the Game 4 starter. "I can't make any promises, but I'll do my best. I've done some of my greatest work as part of ensemble casts, so I know how to be a good team player. It'll be a lot of fun, but let's be honest, I'm going to get absolutely crushed by the Blue Jays' lineup. Mercilessly. It's going to be ugly. But, hey, what an experience, right?"
At publishing time, the Dodgers were still heavy favorites to win Game 4, as Ohtani was predicted to hit another eight home runs.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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Ohtani is pitching
Ah, The Bee
Never a Dodger’s fan but miss Lasorda and Vinn Scully.
Especially Vin Scully. Growing up a Dodger fan (not a fan of the club anymore, but following just because of Ohtani), Vin was the voice of my summer evenings.
And Justin Beiber is pitching for the Blue Jays.
Fair enough.
When Ohtani goes to the plate he is Mickey Mantle. On the pitchers mound he is Sandy Koufax.
He is only 31 years old. Unless injured he will set many records in the future. Most pitchers are not very good at the bat. Ohtani is a giant threat to the opposing team when he bats or pitches. He is incredible.
In Hollywood, there’s no lack of hitters who swing both ways...
Nope. Justin Beiber doesn't pitch; he catches.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.....
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