Posted on 10/25/2025 12:14:27 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
TORONTO — Scandal has rocked the baseball world as shortly after their 11-4 World Series victory, several members of the Toronto Blue Jays tested positive for performance-enhancing maple syrup.
Suspicions arose immediately after the Blue Jays historic nine-run outburst in the sixth inning, with several pundits accusing the Blue Jays of "syruping."
"We have confirmation that at least twelve members of the Blue Jays tested well over the accepted maple syrup threshold," said MLB spokesman Dan Reeding. "This was no synthetic maple extract. Their blood tests showed extremely high levels of delicious, all-natural, performance-enhancing maple syrup. Oh, and pancakes."
The Dodgers organization have called for the Blue Jays to forfeit the first game over the scandal. "Something smelled wrong, and it smelled like maple," said Dodgers manager Dave Roberts. "I picked up one of their bats, and it smelled like a delightful fall morning, still a little sticky with syrup. I knew then and there."
The Blue Jays have issued an apology, though they maintain they had no intent to alter the outcome of the game. "We are guilty of nothing but being hungry and imbibing incredible amounts of warm, tasty syrup," said outfielder George Springer. "If that got us a little jacked in the sixth, so be it. I defy anyone to enjoy our trainer Bill's signature flapjacks and not pour on the maple. It was never about trying to bend the rules of baseball. It was always about the syrup."
At publishing time, MLB had issued a warning that all syrup consumed during the World Series must be corn syrup so as not to unfairly advantage the Canadians.
Legal in Canada. They’ll be untouchable for their home games.
Imagine my shock when I saw that Toronto won the first game. I am hoping that the Dodgers lose the WS to the Blue Jays.
omg...too funny
A Mrs. Butterworth was interviewed by League officials for her role in the controversy.
Aunt Jemina couldn’t be reached for comment
Makes me wonder what was in all of those hot dogs and beer Babe Ruth consumed in the dugout during the game.
LOL! It would certainly explain last night’s sixth inning.
Yeah, but its an open secret that Otani and Yamamoto are soy boys....
“The Toronto Maple Leafs could not be reached for comment.”
The real scandal is that is USA maple syrup
As a long suffering Mariners fan I’ll forgive the Jays for beating the M’s if they can beat the Dodgers, who are second only to the Yankees on my least favorite team list.
Why not? The US is going to own Minnesota soon and Canada and Greenland, too.
Growing up as a Giants fan, my antipathy towards the Dodgers was great. I follow the Rangers now, primarily due to living in Texas the last 50 years.
Don’t we already own Minnesota?
Yep, Yankees and Dodgers are the teams I like the least as well!
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