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12 Million Charlie Kirks Created Overnight
babylonbee.com ^ | Sep 12, 2025

Posted on 09/14/2025 4:53:34 AM PDT by V_TWIN

U.S. — Experts revealed that an estimated 12 million new Charlie Kirks had been created overnight following the murder of the conservative echelon earlier this week. The army of Charlie Kirks was said to be uniformly committed to continuing the original Kirk's message and mission of hope and courage.

"I've never seen anything like it," sociologist Brandon Meeks told reporters. "Over 12 million new Charlie Kirks sprang up practically overnight. They're carrying Kirk's message all over the place. I saw twenty of them with my own eyes, speaking plain truths and affirming the mission of Jesus Christ boldly to all corners of the earth. It's pretty remarkable."

Witnesses said that the vast legion of Charlie Kirks looked like regular people but were identifiable by their actions and the way they unapologetically defended truth, even in the face of angry opposition. Sources said the individuals all affirmed their faith in Christ and were last seen going about making a positive difference in the world.

"We're just normal people, but we're all Charlie Kirk," said one new Charlie Kirk. "I've committed myself to carrying on his mission everywhere I go. He stood for truth, civility, honesty, and faith, and I will too. I'm Charlie Kirk. You are, too."

At publishing time, Turning Point USA announced that Charlie Kirk's message could never be killed and that the newly formed army of Charlies was already doing fantastic work moving its mission forward.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; charliekirk; satire

1 posted on 09/14/2025 4:53:34 AM PDT by V_TWIN
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To: V_TWIN

A Turning Point? The Death of Charlie Kirk and the Possible Collapse of Progressive Ideology
By The Hermit

History often moves not in steady, predictable steps but in sudden lurches—shaped by moments so symbolic, so emotionally charged, that they become catalysts for greater change. For some, the assassination of President John F. Kennedy in 1963 marked such a turning point: the end of postwar American innocence, the beginning of deep national mistrust, and the slow unraveling of the consensus that had defined mid-century America.

Now, six decades later, we may be witnessing the other bookend to that era.

The death of Charlie Kirk, a leading voice of youthful conservative activism, has sent shockwaves through American political culture. While history will need time to assign meaning to this event, one must ask: could this be the moment when conservatives finally say, “Enough”? Could it mark the beginning of the end of Progressive ideological dominance in the United States?

The Context of a Fractured Nation

For years, the American political left—broadly represented by progressive ideology—has expanded its influence across nearly all major institutions: education, media, entertainment, corporate HR departments, even certain religious communities. In many of these areas, dissenting views were not just discouraged but aggressively marginalized. Conservatives, for the most part, either adapted quietly or withdrew—sometimes creating their own spaces, sometimes conceding ground entirely.

But there’s a growing sense that something fundamental has shifted. The quiet majority is no longer so quiet. The outrage over cultural upheaval, institutional overreach, and the erosion of national identity has turned into a simmering anger. And now, with the death of Charlie Kirk, that anger may reach a boiling point.

Charlie Kirk as a Symbol

Charlie Kirk was not just a political commentator—he was a symbol of generational pushback. Unlike older conservatives often on the defensive, Kirk represented a new, unapologetic right that refused to cede moral ground to progressivism. He spoke directly to young people, challenged the left’s control of academia, and dared to confront institutional narratives. Whether one agreed with his rhetoric or not, his influence was undeniable.

If JFK’s death accelerated the fragmentation of American unity and opened the door to the cultural revolution of the late ‘60s and ‘70s, Kirk’s death may have the inverse effect: a unifying event for conservative resurgence, a moment of collective realization that passivity is no longer an option.

Is Progressivism Now Overextended?

Every ideology, when pushed too far, begins to falter under the weight of its own contradictions. Progressivism once stood for noble goals: civil rights, equality under the law, and fair opportunity. But in recent years, many believe it has mutated into something far more divisive—redefining language, punishing dissent, and promoting a moral superiority that alienates as much as it persuades.

We see this overreach in policies that prioritize illegal immigrants over citizens, in efforts to rewrite history, and in the erasure of traditional values that once unified communities. The backlash is already visible: increasing political polarization, growing distrust in media, and the rise of grassroots conservative movements across the country.

The death of Charlie Kirk may solidify that backlash into a coherent force.

A New Conservative Awakening?
Unlike the reaction to JFK’s death, which fractured a generation, the reaction to Kirk’s death may consolidate one. This time, it’s not about radical rebellion—but restoration. Not revolution—but return. A return to principles: limited government, free speech, individual responsibility, and national sovereignty.

Could Kirk’s death mark the beginning of a new conservative awakening? That remains to be seen. But the mood is changing. The ground beneath the progressive movement appears less solid. The appeal to institutional power—once seen as a strength—is now seen by many as an abuse. People are waking up, and they are not happy with what they see.

Conclusion: The Bookends of a Cultural Era?

From JFK to Kirk, we may indeed be witnessing the closing of a long and painful chapter in American political life. One that began with hope, spiraled into division, and now may find resolution in renewal.

Whether the death of Charlie Kirk becomes a true turning point in history is something only time will tell. But if it is, it will be because millions of Americans—quiet for too long—decided that the time for silence had ended.

They remembered what it meant to love their country, and they chose to fight for it.


2 posted on 09/14/2025 4:54:50 AM PDT by CIB-173RDABN
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To: V_TWIN
The transvestites unleashed something they didn't foresee.

3 posted on 09/14/2025 4:56:10 AM PDT by Right_Wing_Madman
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To: V_TWIN

Not so much satire this time.


4 posted on 09/14/2025 6:16:10 AM PDT by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon." Amen. Come, Lord Jesus….)
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To: metmom

Overwhelming Turnout for the Prescott
Vigal.


5 posted on 09/14/2025 6:35:02 AM PDT by Big Red Badger (ALL Things Will be Revealed !)
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To: V_TWIN

6 posted on 09/14/2025 7:24:43 AM PDT by logi_cal869 (-cynicus the "concern troll" a/o 10/03/2018 "/!i!! &@$%&*(@ -')
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To: V_TWIN

On every Charlie Kirk Day from now on, my headlights will not be on but I will be wearing a real nice suit.


7 posted on 09/14/2025 7:38:11 AM PDT by Racketeer
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To: V_TWIN

Not really a joke, despite the presentation.


8 posted on 09/14/2025 9:09:04 AM PDT by Salman (It's not a slippery slope if it was part of the program all along.)
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To: V_TWIN

9 posted on 09/14/2025 2:41:42 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum (Je suis Charlie Kirk.)
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