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British Authorities Warn There Is A Man Loose On The Streets Threatening To Share An Opinion
BabylonBee.com ^ | Sep 4, 202 | The Babylon Bee✓ @TheBabylonBee

Posted on 09/04/2025 9:29:39 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum

LONDON — Authorities warned British citizens of widespread reports of a dangerous man loose on the streets, threatening to share an opinion.

According to an official bulletin, the recently released Graham Linehan represented an urgent threat to public order, as he had not only come up with an idea not conforming to politically acceptable ideology all on his own, but also threatened to spread this idea by engaging others in reasonable civil discourse.

"The suspect is about medium height, brown-haired, and radically free-thinking," the official police bulletin read. "Linehan, who we believe may be armed with a bullhorn or possibly wearing an offensive sandwich board, will be dangerous if approached, as he has already threatened multiple times to share his opinions with others without obtaining prior permission from the British Directory of Public Thought. All right-minded subjects of the king are strongly advised to avoid engaging the suspect in conversation at all costs and report him to the nearest constable."

Police stated that they had received a tip in tracking the suspect down.

"He's a shifty little blighter, all right, but we'll cook his chops for him in a jiffy," said Lieutenant Briggs, who works with the Scotland Yard. "I say, awful lot of cheek that one has, if he has his own opinions, wot? Silly little goose. We'll teach him to be an independent thinker — just chuck the bloomin' chappie in the klink, that's what I say."

At publishing time, British authorities had announced that Linehan had been taken back into custody and sentenced to attend a re-educational centre.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire

1 posted on 09/04/2025 9:29:39 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

2 posted on 09/04/2025 9:40:38 AM PDT by z3n (Kakistocracy)
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To: z3n
...dangerous if approached, as he has already threatened multiple times to share his opinions with others without obtaining prior permission from the British Directory of Public Thought.
LOL - Yep, scary times...

3 posted on 09/04/2025 9:59:54 AM PDT by GOPJ (Time to drop off a few thousand red MAGA hats to Chicago's South side... <I><B><big><center> )
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To: GOPJ

4 posted on 09/04/2025 10:50:39 AM PDT by MtnClimber (For photos of scenery, wildlife and climbing, click on my screen name for my FR home page.)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

I presume they’ve banned Speaker’s Corner in Hyde Park. Or do they just censor content now?


5 posted on 09/04/2025 11:46:25 AM PDT by PAR35
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To: PAR35

No more soap boxes to stand on...


6 posted on 09/04/2025 7:44:46 PM PDT by GOPJ (Time to drop off a few thousand red MAGA hats to Chicago's South side... <I><B><big><center> )
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

7 posted on 09/04/2025 7:47:00 PM PDT by MinorityRepublican
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