Posted on 08/01/2025 11:24:59 AM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
https://babylonbee.com/news/awkward-obama-hillary-hire-same-hitman-to-kill-each-other
U.S. — In an awkward turn of events, former President Barack Obama and former presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton reportedly hired the same hitman to kill each other.
The two political figures were allegedly compelled to target each other as more information related to the Trump-Russia collusion hoax was declassified by Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard, who claims the two were complicit in a coup to undermine the Trump presidency. This prompted the pair to allegedly target the other in a desperate attempt to tie off any loose ends.
The matter became known when a hitman working under the pseudonym "Vinny Black" received near-simultaneous calls from each to kill the other. "I got calls from both of them within minutes of each other," Black explained. "I've accepted jobs from both of them without question in the past — they are powerful people, you don't want to refuse them — but it was awkward when I realized that they wanted to kill each other."
Black, Obama, and Clinton found themselves in a three-way pickle. "I couldn't cancel the contracts, since they'd just hire another hitman to kill me," Black explained. "And I can't kill them both, since there wouldn't be anyone left to pay me."
In the end, Black said he was able to settle the conflict and postpone any bloodshed without any deaths by simply explaining the situation to Obama and Clinton.
At publishing time, the body of Vinny Black had reportedly been found dumped in a ditch on the outskirts of Washington, D.C., with authorities quickly ruling his death a suicide.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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..That evening, when Heckle was caught spying on Jeckle.
I don’t care who you are, that there’s funny.
They stole this from Lee Van Cleef.
Body found with three bullet holes in back of head...
In an awkward turn of events, former President Barack Obama and former presidential hopeful Hillary Clinton reportedly hired the same hitman to kill each other. The two political figures were allegedly compelled to target each other as more information related to the Trump-Russia collusion hoax was declassified by Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard, who claims the two were complicit in a coup to undermine the Trump presidency. This prompted the pair to allegedly target the other in a desperate attempt to tie off any loose ends.
Funny right there.
Just have each put the money in escrow, pending 3rd party verification. Seems like you could even use the same escrow company and 3rd party. Cut them a small bonus, and problems solved.
Usually the Bee is funny. This time they are over the top. It worked in “Mr. and Mrs. Smith,” but it does not work here.
The BB’s satires have a strange way of coming true.
Wonder what Andrew Bustamante’s take would be on this.
(”Everyday Spy”)
LIKE THE BODIES OF THE 2 YOUNG BLACK BOYS FOUND ON THE RAILROAD TRACKS IN MENA, ARK WHEN CLINTON WAS GOVERNOR.
EACH HAD 2 SHOTS TO THE BACK OF THE HEAD.
CORONER RULED SUICIDE
Actually they hired the same person to Suicide each other.
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