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Men, Where Have You Gone? Please Come Back. {Women wondering about the lack of real men}
New York times ^ | 20yh June 2025 | Rachel Drucker

Posted on 06/22/2025 2:02:49 AM PDT by Cronos

We have moved into an era where many men no longer seek women to impress other men or to connect across difference. They perform elsewhere. Alone. They’ve filtered us out.

I recently experienced a flicker of possibility. With James. We met on Raya, the dating app. There was something mutual from the start — wordplay, emotional precision, a tone that felt attuned. It was brief, but it caught light. I remember saying to him, “Even fleeting connections matter, when they’re mutual and lit from the inside.” I meant it.

There was just enough spark to wonder what might unfold. Enough curiosity to imagine a doorway. But he didn’t step through it. Not with a plan. Not with presence. He hovered — flirting, retreating, offering warmth but no direction.

Sexual tension and a spark aren’t reason enough to sit still and hope there’s substance behind the shimmer. So I named what I felt. I texted him clearly, with care, not simply to declare attraction but to extend a real invitation to explore what was possible. I didn’t chase. I invited, leaving the door open. If he ever wanted to cross the threshold — not just to take, but to meet — I was willing. I wanted. I still do.

He never replied. He still follows my Instagram stories — one of those small gestures of passive engagement that so many of us now mistake for closeness. It looks like interest. It feels like silence.

There are thousands of Jameses. I have known dozens. The arc varies, but the undertow is familiar.

...here’s what’s real: We never needed you to be perfect. We needed you to be with us. Not above. Not muted. Not masked. Just with.

(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: dating; manosphere; men; mgtow; pua; redpill; triggerwarning; women
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To: Cronos
I remember saying to him, “Even fleeting connections matter, when they’re mutual and lit from the inside.” I meant it.

RUN, don't walk! (As he did).

Crazy bitch thinks she is the "main character" in a novel or movie. She should stick with ChatGPT until she is red pilled by leftist consequences and joins the rest of us in sanity.

81 posted on 06/22/2025 5:22:01 AM PDT by montag813
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To: Cronos
We never needed you to be perfect.

First of all, any man who’s spent time with almost any woman, can tell you that needing (trying to force) you to be perfect, is what they do.

Second, the feminist movement and modern culture are telling men every minute of every day, that not only are men not perfect, but that they are inherently flawed and bad.

The disengagement of today’s young men can only be a surprise to people who bought into and are part of the continuous disparagement of men and maleness that has been going on for decades.

82 posted on 06/22/2025 5:22:48 AM PDT by Sicon ("All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others." - G. Orwell)
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To: af_vet_1981

I don’t disagree with you about porn but I don’t see it as a material part of the authors problem.

The problem is she is a woke leftist and thus abhorrent to a real man.


83 posted on 06/22/2025 5:23:43 AM PDT by TheThirdRuffian (Orange is the new brown)
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To: Chickensoup; Ikeon
Solomon searched the world for a righteous man, he found 1 in 1000, he never found a righteous woman, never..

Did he look? I don’t recall

There is no distaff equivalent of a "righteous man." Except for Old Testament prophetesses and the like.

The closest equivalent would be an "obedient daughter / wife who submits to her father / husband."

Regards,

84 posted on 06/22/2025 5:24:40 AM PDT by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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To: cgbg
For women like her this is a total mystery.

I dunno. I think this has been perfectly obvious to women since forever. Notice how its rude to ask a woman her age? Notice the massive effort on women's part to look young? That's been all my life. I don't think women don't realize this. It think its much more a case of - especially since feminazism - them not wanting to admit this. A big part of the problem is militant feminism teaching women to focus 100% on their wants and completely ignore the fact that men have wants too....that men get to choose too and its not a one way street.

Many of them act shocked and horrified when they hit the wall and discover that men get to choose too....even though deep down they knew it all along.

85 posted on 06/22/2025 5:25:05 AM PDT by FLT-bird
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To: RoosterRedux

Most men are now aware that, if they weren’t wanted in their 20’s, they aren’t really wanted. They just exist to be used. That’s one of the reasons for being vacant.


86 posted on 06/22/2025 5:26:04 AM PDT by Jonty30 (He was so fat that it took a year for his memory foam mattress to forget him. )
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To: Cronos

Not worth it for men. Women will cry rape, claim sexual harassment, and take what a man has earned. Foolish for a guy to marry because she take half of what he has. They only want the perfect man and will instantly flee when not happy. Tbey will take away the kids if he has any with her.


87 posted on 06/22/2025 5:27:29 AM PDT by moviefan8
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To: arthurus

what is WMV?


88 posted on 06/22/2025 5:28:15 AM PDT by bankwalker (Feminists, like all Marxists, are ungrateful parasites.)
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To: Chickensoup

At least 700 times that we know of.


89 posted on 06/22/2025 5:28:34 AM PDT by Jonty30 (He was so fat that it took a year for his memory foam mattress to forget him. )
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To: Jolla
Step daughter has a boyfriend living with her, she is 29 successful in sales really successful, her current boyfriend is her longest, a high school drop-out, 25 that has not worked a single day in the last 4 years. A couple of years ago “he” took her to Disney Land, spent $6000 in 4 days.

They will not procreate, so whatever they do will be irrelevant in the greater scheme of things.

Regards,

90 posted on 06/22/2025 5:29:18 AM PDT by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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To: Cronos

Unlike today’s modern overweight, tattooed harridans, porn has a mute button.


91 posted on 06/22/2025 5:32:02 AM PDT by nonliberal (Russia is not my enemy.)
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To: Cronos

Dating site? 54 years old? What kind of a man is going to be age interested in her? Maybe a guy in his 60’s or 70’s or 80’s and those guys have long since settled into relationships with adventuring WITHOUT a woman along. Fishing trips, Travel, Road trips rock hounding, prospecting, historical or just a long weekend on horseback out in New Mexico or someplace. She will always be in third place behind his two dogs as well.


92 posted on 06/22/2025 5:33:01 AM PDT by atc23
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To: Jonty30

Your sig got a laugh out of my thin wife.


93 posted on 06/22/2025 5:36:02 AM PDT by Pearls Before Swine
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To: Cronos

misandrist
noun

One who hates men. Contrast misogynist and cf. misandry.

Similar: man-hater One who professes misandry; a hater of men.


94 posted on 06/22/2025 5:38:17 AM PDT by Maelstrom (To prevent misinterpretation or abuse of the Constitution:The Bill of Rights limits government power)
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To: Jonty30

There it is.


95 posted on 06/22/2025 5:42:49 AM PDT by sauropod (Make sure Satan has to climb over a lot of Scripture to get to you. John MacArthur Ne supra crepidam)
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To: yldstrk
If men want to be the leader, they better know what they are doing financially, morally, and in every other way.

No man here is playing the apologist for the "playahs," the "cads," or the lazy, self-indulgent couch-potatoes (though many of the latter might actually tell you that they have "opted out" of the game anyway).

There are plenty of men who want to be the leader but what they mean is they want to have their way all the time in a whiny baby spoiled brat fashion.

By the same token, no man here is defending spoilt cry-babies and whiners.

Enough of your straw-manning, already!

Now, if you see a clear path you are leading people on, that is one thing, but if you are demanding everybody agree with what you say just because you are the husband and the dad, no.

Now, the basis of my demanding submission and obedience from my family members is that I:

  1. Am by far the oldest (= have the most life experience);
  2. paid for it;
  3. am the one who is going to have to risk my neck defending it.
You better have a rationale, be responsible, be supportive of all the family members, be demonstrating a good work ethic, be free of drugs and alcohol, be loyal and loving, pay your bills, care for your home, be neat and clean, care for your animals, care for your parents and attend your church or synagogue and strive to learn new things, act like a gentleman at all times, keep your yard up, keep your vehicles maintained and clean then you can be the head of the family.

That's quite a long laundry list - and not a few of the items are entirely optional (we don't have any "animals" in our household; we don't have any vehicles; don't have a "yard"). But I strongly suspect that most of my fellow male FReepers would assert that they perform those duties gladly anyway.

But out of curiosity: What do you suppose the equivalent list for a woman wishing to be treated with respect and deference would look like?

(Hint: The typical man here would have a list of perhaps three requirements.)

Regards,

96 posted on 06/22/2025 5:44:55 AM PDT by alexander_busek (Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence.)
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To: sauropod

Bkmk


97 posted on 06/22/2025 5:46:35 AM PDT by sauropod (Make sure Satan has to climb over a lot of Scripture to get to you. John MacArthur Ne supra crepidam)
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To: Justa

“I stopped reading at the second paragraph. As I’m sure many others did.

She’s insufferable.”

I also found her writing off-putting. The overly flowery prose seemed designed to impress rather than communicate. Like she was writing a college term paper to be graded. If She toned that down maybe she could get a date.


98 posted on 06/22/2025 5:57:43 AM PDT by Brooklyn Attitude (The DemocRATic party is a treasonous America hating cult.)
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To: Cronos

99 posted on 06/22/2025 5:58:57 AM PDT by bankwalker (Feminists, like all Marxists, are ungrateful parasites.)
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To: Ikeon

Used to be 2 years in MD. Unless, of course, you’re Parris The First Glendening.


100 posted on 06/22/2025 5:59:18 AM PDT by sauropod (Make sure Satan has to climb over a lot of Scripture to get to you. John MacArthur Ne supra crepidam)
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