Posted on 06/22/2025 2:02:49 AM PDT by Cronos
We have moved into an era where many men no longer seek women to impress other men or to connect across difference. They perform elsewhere. Alone. They’ve filtered us out.
I recently experienced a flicker of possibility. With James. We met on Raya, the dating app. There was something mutual from the start — wordplay, emotional precision, a tone that felt attuned. It was brief, but it caught light. I remember saying to him, “Even fleeting connections matter, when they’re mutual and lit from the inside.” I meant it.
There was just enough spark to wonder what might unfold. Enough curiosity to imagine a doorway. But he didn’t step through it. Not with a plan. Not with presence. He hovered — flirting, retreating, offering warmth but no direction.
Sexual tension and a spark aren’t reason enough to sit still and hope there’s substance behind the shimmer. So I named what I felt. I texted him clearly, with care, not simply to declare attraction but to extend a real invitation to explore what was possible. I didn’t chase. I invited, leaving the door open. If he ever wanted to cross the threshold — not just to take, but to meet — I was willing. I wanted. I still do.
He never replied. He still follows my Instagram stories — one of those small gestures of passive engagement that so many of us now mistake for closeness. It looks like interest. It feels like silence.
There are thousands of Jameses. I have known dozens. The arc varies, but the undertow is familiar.
...here’s what’s real: We never needed you to be perfect. We needed you to be with us. Not above. Not muted. Not masked. Just with.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
Utterance of those sentences alone make her undatable. Yikes.
I am beginning to think being 100% invisible to women all my life has become a blessing in disguise.
I stopped reading at the second paragraph. As I’m sure many others did.
She’s insufferable.
Ease up on the cut and paste buddy. You took my comment out of context.
CC
American culture is rotten and broke. Yes, porn is part of that collapse but there is far more to it than that. There has been a war on men and boys, right from kindergarten onward. They have tried to eradicate masculinity and make men second class citizens, praising women and condemning men.
You reap what you sow. American society is broken. The culture is poisoned. What did they think would happen when they screwed around with God’s natural system that had worked for thousands of years?
I hate liberals and the left with a burning passion. Everything they touch today is destroyed.
She is soooo past her sell by date and so stupid she can’t do the math of birth rate and demograhics by race in the US for the last half century. Any man in her pool has been there, done that, been taken and ain’t riding that horse again.
"I'm 54".
There's your problem honey. By that age men are generally looooooong past having any romantic interest in you if you haven't been in a relationship with them for decades. You needed to get serious about finding a good man who was a match for you in the 1990s. When I say a match for you, if you're a 5 you probably needed to be looking at the men who were 5s and 6s. You'd have been very lucky indeed to get a 7...its tough to get someone two rungs above you on the ladder - let's be honest. The problem is that far too many women look at men and say nothing less than an 8 (ie the top 20%) is acceptable to them.....until they're older and no longer have much value in the dating market as a result and have FINALLY started acting reasonable wrt the level of men they're willing to be in a relationship with - by which point of course, its too late.
i have to ask, if men left women, what are they watching?
its not that men left women, its that women are empowered, women never mature past age 15, they put a much higher price tag on flash and looks than personality. They chase after good looking guys until they are worn out and realize they no longer are worth much and then start looking for a man to settle down.
the old fashioned way was to get married before and guy is firmly established, you both work on a life together, chase dreams you both have and have kids.
Porn replaced the dreams of good men because women traded mens dreams for divorce which can destroy a man's life.
So, for men, its watch porn, or chase a woman who's eventually going to break you?
Porn is an effect of the WMV.
Misogynists.
That's probably where she blew it. Any outreach like that is seen as "chasing," and with this negotiating-a-business-merger language, it's really not appealing.
“Wait! Come back! We’re not done belittling and emasculating you yet!”
MGTOW. “Got yer back, Jack...dem b$tches be crazy!”
Thanks ‘Eve’
There's a flip side to that. A lot of men do the same thing. They're "players" all their lives, and then in their 40s or 50s they have a health scare and decide it's time to find a woman who will take care of them as they decline. I stumbled on the term "Hospice Wife" on YouTube and fell down a whole rabbit hole.
A lot of people are just not mature enough until it's too late.
Just a suggestion: stop being a competitor or opponent, try being a teammate.
Imagine a woman on a date who says “Even fleeting connections matter, when they’re mutual and lit from the inside.”
I know I what I would do.
Run.
(She is saying her body count is off the charts.)
“The prospect of being with a woman who no longer has a single ay of her youth to offer, who’s been around the block too many times chasing elite men who are out of her league, who turned down average or even above average men until that point and who he has to know doesn’t really want to be with him but is now desperate and thinks she’s settling is not very appealing.”
Always love the “not willing to settle” line. Hey ladies, believe it or not, most men are “settling” with the women they end up with.
Even women who haven't been indoctrinated are influenced by what they see on TV, in the movies, and in the media. And what they see has been incredibly—if not totally—influenced by Leftists.
This view that men are oppressors has altered the interplay dynamic between men and women. Real men won't go where they're not wanted.
As an aside, years ago, a female friend arranged for me to have a coffee "date" with a gal. We met at a diner (this was NYC). I had barely taken a sip of my coffee before she started in about how disgusting and untrustworthy men are. Without saying a word, I got up, put $5 on the table, walked out the door, and hailed a cab.
Until that event, I naively thought that most women actually liked men. After that, I started to notice that many women see real men (i.e. not Caspar Milquetoast) purely as a means to an end. They might put up with us until they get what they want, but they don't want us.
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