Posted on 06/22/2025 2:02:49 AM PDT by Cronos
We have moved into an era where many men no longer seek women to impress other men or to connect across difference. They perform elsewhere. Alone. They’ve filtered us out.
I recently experienced a flicker of possibility. With James. We met on Raya, the dating app. There was something mutual from the start — wordplay, emotional precision, a tone that felt attuned. It was brief, but it caught light. I remember saying to him, “Even fleeting connections matter, when they’re mutual and lit from the inside.” I meant it.
There was just enough spark to wonder what might unfold. Enough curiosity to imagine a doorway. But he didn’t step through it. Not with a plan. Not with presence. He hovered — flirting, retreating, offering warmth but no direction.
Sexual tension and a spark aren’t reason enough to sit still and hope there’s substance behind the shimmer. So I named what I felt. I texted him clearly, with care, not simply to declare attraction but to extend a real invitation to explore what was possible. I didn’t chase. I invited, leaving the door open. If he ever wanted to cross the threshold — not just to take, but to meet — I was willing. I wanted. I still do.
He never replied. He still follows my Instagram stories — one of those small gestures of passive engagement that so many of us now mistake for closeness. It looks like interest. It feels like silence.
There are thousands of Jameses. I have known dozens. The arc varies, but the undertow is familiar.
...here’s what’s real: We never needed you to be perfect. We needed you to be with us. Not above. Not muted. Not masked. Just with.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
I’m only partly through the article, but this woman’s biography is radioactive poison all by itself. She worked in the porn industry as a custodian of records for Playboy and its hardcore affiliates. She is 54, once married now divorced with a child.
And now she is bemoaning that one-night stands don’t even stay for breakfast.
Gonna keep reading to see if there’s a scintilla of self-awareness left in this poor soul.
fast food is popular for a reason.. no effort, no strings attached, your appetite is satisfied with pre processed, over saturated with chemicals, bad for you food.
But, it was quick and easy..
Solomon searched the world for a righteous man, he found 1 in 1000, he never found a righteous woman, never..
The thing is, what a lot of women now would call "settling" is going with men who rate about where they themselves rate on the attractiveness scale. ie a 6 pairing up with a 6, a 4 with a 4, etc. A lot of women can't be persuaded of the need to do even this until after they've hit the wall and all of their youth is gone.
“if there’s a scintilla of self-awareness left in this poor soul”
I read the entire article as well.
She crashed into the wall—there is nothing left but pretense.
Exactly. There seems to be no self awareness in the authoress
DING! That's precisely why I keep hammering the 20s part. Its not just that younger women are more physically attractive though they are, its that younger women don't settle. You can be reasonably confident that if a woman in her 20s goes with you, she actually wants to be with you - not that she is only looking at what you can provide her with the always available option of discarding you once she gets it.
That latter description perfectly fits many women in their 30s who having failed to secure an elite man, now decide they better settle for some schlub (in their view) who can at least provide for them as they hurry up and have a kid or two before its too late...which is rapidly approaching. They can always divorce him and financially cripple him 5 years later. I mean, they never really wanted to be with him specifically anyway. He was just a reasonably acceptable sperm donor and financial contributor in their minds.
Shock Shock, a lot of men are not stupid and know that's exactly what they're thinking - and RUN not walk away from it.
Most of the problems with men becoming passive and non-daring in the realm of the female which is now everything and everywhere, 24 hours a day, is about that 6’6” 265 government lawyer that is always standing behind the female, in romance and courtship and marriage, he is joined by a couple of civilian lawyers.
The vast majority of men are suburbanite types, metrosexual types, office types, nice males who plan careers and financial futures and lives of financial growth and they are being dominated by government and laws and being themselves and natural is more than most males can force themselves to do in the face of so much negativity, risk, and threat at so many levels.
“I texted him clearly, with care, not simply to declare attraction but to extend a real invitation to explore what was possible.“
What’s possible from his point of view is that the wrong woman can destroy his life on a whim.
My advice to women is, “Stop looking like a whore and acting like a bitch”.
Two comments. One: her age was my first observation too. Men aren't generally attracted to older women. Duh.
Two: She probably did spend her 20s beating off men with a stick....a great many men.....several of whom would have been good choices for her and would have stuck with her and built a life together with her had she chosen them back then. But no. Only the top 15-20% would do for her even if she was nowhere near the top 15-20% of women herself.
Solomon searched the world for a righteous man, he found 1 in 1000, he never found a righteous woman, never..
........
Did he look? I don’t recall
You and me both!
Eligible men, particularly young men, need to seek counseling about what to watch out for when it comes to women. Many men are dangerously naive about women.
Let me add, when I was young and eligible, I was downright stupid. In fact, I was still stupid about women until just recently.;-)
I don't mean to sound like I'm blaming women. It's not their fault that men are naive and gullible when it comes to women.
“Men aren’t generally attracted to older women. Duh.”
For men this is ridiculously obvious.
For women like her this is a total mystery.
Lol.
You can read the entire article by using a site like remove paywall.dom.
Just a suggestion: stop being a competitor or opponent, try being a teammate helpmeet.
The man should be the head / leader.
********
If men want to be the leader, they better know what they are doing financially, morally, and in every other way. There are plenty of men who want to be the leader but what they mean is they want to have their way all the time in a whiny baby spoiled brat fashion. Now, if you see a clear path you are leading people on, that is one thing, but if you are demanding everybody agree with what you say just because you are the husband and the dad, no. You better have a rationale, be responsible, be supportive of all the family members, be demonstrating a good work ethic, be free of drugs and alcohol, be loyal and loving, pay your bills, care for your home, be neat and clean, care for your animals, care for your parents and attend your church or synagogue and strive to learn new things, act like a gentleman at all times, keep your yard up, keep your vehicles maintained and clean then you can be the head of the family.
Where have all the MEN gone? Women have emasculated boys for generations and now where all the MEN are?
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it! I would rather you just said "thank you", and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to!
Yep, and this is why *tradition* is so important. Because it's very very easy for women to rely on their fleeting beauty, since God gives it to them at so very tender an age.
Society needs to have a long generational memory to teach lessons that may not be immediately obvious. It needs old women to warn young women about what lies ahead.
But of course, liberals despise tradition. So they never learn those lessons.
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