Posted on 06/22/2025 2:02:49 AM PDT by Cronos
We have moved into an era where many men no longer seek women to impress other men or to connect across difference. They perform elsewhere. Alone. They’ve filtered us out.
I recently experienced a flicker of possibility. With James. We met on Raya, the dating app. There was something mutual from the start — wordplay, emotional precision, a tone that felt attuned. It was brief, but it caught light. I remember saying to him, “Even fleeting connections matter, when they’re mutual and lit from the inside.” I meant it.
There was just enough spark to wonder what might unfold. Enough curiosity to imagine a doorway. But he didn’t step through it. Not with a plan. Not with presence. He hovered — flirting, retreating, offering warmth but no direction.
Sexual tension and a spark aren’t reason enough to sit still and hope there’s substance behind the shimmer. So I named what I felt. I texted him clearly, with care, not simply to declare attraction but to extend a real invitation to explore what was possible. I didn’t chase. I invited, leaving the door open. If he ever wanted to cross the threshold — not just to take, but to meet — I was willing. I wanted. I still do.
He never replied. He still follows my Instagram stories — one of those small gestures of passive engagement that so many of us now mistake for closeness. It looks like interest. It feels like silence.
There are thousands of Jameses. I have known dozens. The arc varies, but the undertow is familiar.
...here’s what’s real: We never needed you to be perfect. We needed you to be with us. Not above. Not muted. Not masked. Just with.
(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...
My husband has only one of the above “requirements”. Where do I go to turn in my “woman” card? /s
Of course the man has the typical American male attitude of demanding the woman never weigh more than 120 lbs., look like a model without wearing makeup, and be simultaneously a virgin and awesome in bed, he may well need all those things to compensate.
“My husband has only one of the above “requirements.”
I don’t need to know which one. But you, madame, are obviously not a “modern single” woman. Which is why you’re married and they’re not.
L
Most men have live ammo until they die.
The ammo may be live, but it is of lower quality than that of a 20-something man. The increase in autism has been linked to the increase in older fathers. I have family members who are on the spectrum and while they are high-functioning I wouldn't want to roll the dice with my own kids. If I were single, I'd be looking for 21-40 year olds, and probably closer to 21. Older men have more baggage and are more likely to compare you to their previous wives and girlfriends anyway.
https://www.buildingblockstherapy.org/blog/do-older-fathers-cause-autism
As if the wrong man has never been able to destroy a woman’s life (or end it) on a whim.
Apples and oranges. A ridiculous comparison actually. we’re not talking crime stats here. We’re talking about the current social culture./ Are woman bailing on even thinking about marriage presently ? Because a hell of a lot of men are and women are out there wondering where they went. More woman then men walk away from marriages and yeah many of them do it on a whim.
Apples and oranges. A ridiculous comparison actually. we’re not talking crime stats here.
Actually I was being rather generous to men by treating the rape and murder they do to women as equal to the unequal divorce settlements received by women. No life, once taken, can be restored the way lost money can.
Are woman bailing on even thinking about marriage presently ?
Increasingly yes.
https://nypost.com/2025/04/21/lifestyle/study-shows-women-are-not-getting-married/
There's a graphic out there showing the self-reported happiness level of self-reported Liberals and Conservatives. The Conservatives were higher across EVERY SINGLE DEMOGRAPHIC.... income, age, gender, race, education, location, etc. The difference was generally about 15-20 points, about 43-63 or thereabouts for almost all of them. Can't find it to link it at the moment.
Ok. You hate men. You repeatedly lump rapists in with all men in a conversation about a declining culture. Good for you. Hope I made ya feel better.
No doubt. Looks and personality do not always balance each other out. There are nice good looking people as well as people who are just as ugly on the inside as they are on the outside.
I can tell you there are definitely women in their 30s who want kids. Many of them. The kind who circle back to the kinds of guys they were shooting down the previous decade....or even sometimes to literally the exact same guys they shot down!....they're most definitely hearing the biological clock ticking.
These are the women I've said are bad choices - and for those men especially. My mom, all 4 of my sisters and my one niece so far are/were not like that. They all had the good sense to be serious about finding a good man in their 20s and did so. I've got one more niece to go who is 25. Her mom my sister thinks waiting til your 30s is just fine/no problem. I told me niece the exact opposite. Do NOT waste your 20s! From a guy's perspective, I can assure her that her bargaining power will never be as great again as it is right now. Make hay while the sun is shining.
Nobody said the wrong man can't. They're just explaining the male perspective. Obviously caution and good judgment are vital when choosing a mate.
Of course the man has the typical American male attitude of demanding the woman never weigh more than 120 lbs., look like a model without wearing makeup, and be simultaneously a virgin and awesome in bed, he may well need all those things to compensate.
No question that older men's sperm quality is not as high as younger men's. That said, the vast majority of older men are still fertile and the rate of birth defects for them is still absolutely tiny. You may set an age range topping out at 40 but I notice rich older men always seem able to get attractive younger women. This is true around the world and has been true throughout history. It may not be to your taste but obviously there are plenty of other women to whom their partner's age is not a huge turnoff.
There's nothing you could say to me that would make me agree that men are the victims in this.
Maybe 50 years ago, when men were becoming aware that they also faced injustice and started to organize to fight it. In fact, in the late 70s, a man challenged state laws that only granted alimony to women in the Supreme Court on the grounds that they violate the Equal Protection Act, and won.
However, something else was happening at the same time. The sexual revolution. Men thought they had to choose between that and their rights, and a large majority chose the sexual revolution. After all, what man would turn down all the sex he could want, without having to get married?
The problem was that, instead of giving men all they sex they could ever want, it had the exact opposite effect. It turned men into sex fiends who can't get enough, and who think that date rape drugs, abusive pimps, were human traffickers were all justified if that's what it took to get some. Abusive pimps and human traffickers make billions a year in this country alone while MRAs are starved for cash.
Not all men, but few of those who didn't go to this extreme were willing to risk alienating women by standing up for their rights.
You may have noticed that I said that "men thought they had to choose". Yes, there would have been some backlash as there was by men against women who stood up for their rights, but if men had made a stand they might have been surprised by how many women would support them. But how can they support a stand that men won't even make?
Try that on a woman.
You can't. Unlike men, women won't grovel and take it.
To this day, I have never met a single feminist who would agree that a man should have a right to choose too. There may be some, but I've never met one.
In other words, you're an empty tea kettle burning up, smelling up the house. Somebody hit this person with a can of free- breeze
Always a bad idea to move in with her. Much better when she moves in with you.
[...] she decided to use one of my vulnerabilities against me to "shut me up" and win the argument.
Disparaging your manhood - probably denigrating your ability to earn / be a "provider," amirite?
[...] it's been almost a year now since leaving her
A year is a long time; any new prospects on the horizon, or have you "checked out" forever now?
Regards,
Never heard of the guy. Apparently some sort of athletic trainer. Skimmed his Wikipedia entry; looks like you are referring to the following:
In June 2024, it was reported that Belichick was in a relationship with Jordon Hudson, a 24-year-old former Bridgewater State University cheerleader and 2024 Miss Maine USA pageant first runner-up. The two reportedly met on a flight in 2021 and have been dating since 2023.
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He could have done better. But what can you say? "Love is love."
Regards,
What in tarnation are "poor counts?"
Regards,
When I was sitting in summer school film class, engaging in intense discussions with my teacher (to this day, still a good friend) about Fellini and Peckinpah, my future wife had not yet been born.
When I was finally finding my feet, career-wise, as a business consultant in W. Germany, she was a pre-teen proudly marching in Young Pioneer parades through the streets of Moscow, brandishing signs proclaiming the inevitable victory of Communism.
When we first met, on the Ides of March of 1998, I was bird-dogging a 23-year-old dentistry student who lived in the flat below me. But I quickly tabled the future dentist in favor of the vivacious younger girl.
Less than five months later, we wed (it was the first available appointment at the Justice of the Peace; we had all kinds of bureaucratic hoops to jump through as two foreigners wanting to get married in Germany). Nine months later, the first baby came.
Now, 27 years later, we still regale each other with stories and factoids from our respective fields of competency. I might, e.g., be reading an article here on Free Republic, referencing an obscure 18th-century English playwright or 14th-century Venetian nobleman, and she'll reel off the playwright's notable works or the nobleman's place in dynastic court intrigues.
I'm glad that you are happy with your "companion similar in age." But I'm very happy with my companion of dissimilar age.
Regards,
Where was "Dad?!"
Regards,
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