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Men, Where Have You Gone? Please Come Back. {Women wondering about the lack of real men}
New York times ^ | 20yh June 2025 | Rachel Drucker

Posted on 06/22/2025 2:02:49 AM PDT by Cronos

We have moved into an era where many men no longer seek women to impress other men or to connect across difference. They perform elsewhere. Alone. They’ve filtered us out.

I recently experienced a flicker of possibility. With James. We met on Raya, the dating app. There was something mutual from the start — wordplay, emotional precision, a tone that felt attuned. It was brief, but it caught light. I remember saying to him, “Even fleeting connections matter, when they’re mutual and lit from the inside.” I meant it.

There was just enough spark to wonder what might unfold. Enough curiosity to imagine a doorway. But he didn’t step through it. Not with a plan. Not with presence. He hovered — flirting, retreating, offering warmth but no direction.

Sexual tension and a spark aren’t reason enough to sit still and hope there’s substance behind the shimmer. So I named what I felt. I texted him clearly, with care, not simply to declare attraction but to extend a real invitation to explore what was possible. I didn’t chase. I invited, leaving the door open. If he ever wanted to cross the threshold — not just to take, but to meet — I was willing. I wanted. I still do.

He never replied. He still follows my Instagram stories — one of those small gestures of passive engagement that so many of us now mistake for closeness. It looks like interest. It feels like silence.

There are thousands of Jameses. I have known dozens. The arc varies, but the undertow is familiar.

...here’s what’s real: We never needed you to be perfect. We needed you to be with us. Not above. Not muted. Not masked. Just with.

(Excerpt) Read more at nytimes.com ...


TOPICS: Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: dating; manosphere; men; mgtow; pua; redpill; triggerwarning; women
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To: Keyhopper

“I tell the young guys I work with,
Go find a woman that hates your guts, buy her a house, then give her half your pay for the next 20 years.
I just saved you 50K in lawyer fees”

You need help.


181 posted on 06/22/2025 10:06:39 AM PDT by TexasGator (1-1111 -)
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To: usconservative
As we get older, we men value our PEACE more than anything else. Anything, and I mean ANYTHING that disrupts our peace gets jettisoned and the first thing to go is almost always relationships with women.

Women believe they're competing with other women but they're actually competing with peace and quiet.

The crazier they get, the worse they compete.

182 posted on 06/22/2025 10:08:19 AM PDT by T.B. Yoits
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To: Keyhopper

And if you don’t move in with her, you’ll miss all the nagging and complaining.

And you’ll probably find a nice girlfriend in the meantime (just don’t marry her).


183 posted on 06/22/2025 10:08:38 AM PDT by RoosterRedux ("There's nothing so inert as a closed mind" )
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To: TexasGator

You need to develop a sense of humor.


184 posted on 06/22/2025 10:09:23 AM PDT by RoosterRedux ("There's nothing so inert as a closed mind" )
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To: TwelveOfTwenty

This cultural, it is not solved by politicians. The laws follow the culture.

This schism is largely the result of leftism and feminism.

The adage “be careful what you wish for, you just may get it” is on target, as it usually is.


185 posted on 06/22/2025 10:23:51 AM PDT by ChildOfThe60s (If you can remember the 60s, you weren't really there)
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To: BitWielder1
A woman says, "I want a man who's 6 feet tall, earns 6 figures, and has a 6-pack abs." She's not delusional and "holding out" - she's repeating an excuse other women use for why a man would abandon them like their fathers did.

She knows full well that there are so few men who are 6 feet tall, earn 6 figures, and have 6-pack abs and none that would want her. She's grateful that there are so few - because if there were more men who were 6 feet tall, earn 6 figures, and have 6-pack abs, she'd have to "raise her standards" to 7 feet tall, 7 figures, and have 8-pack abs.

She doesn't want a "high-value" man; she wants her perpetual excuse.

186 posted on 06/22/2025 10:25:55 AM PDT by T.B. Yoits
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To: alexander_busek

I figured James was a bot, too.


187 posted on 06/22/2025 10:37:26 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: Claud

No self awareness AT ALL.


188 posted on 06/22/2025 10:40:02 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: pinkandgreenmom
Years ago I read about a woman who wanted to meet men but was somewhat puzzled about how to go about it. So, she dug in and started memorizing baseball stats. In time, she was noticed and eventually met someone and got married.

This leads to the next example. Connie Francis did a song - "Where The Boys Are." It's about a woman who wants to meet a man and have a romantic relationship. And that leads to the next discussion.

Here's something Rachel and friends know, but don't want to admit. Men are hiding in plain sight. If she wants to meet a man, she can find them at football games, baseball games, NASCAR events, rodeos, Civil War Enactments, and MMA events, to name a few. Dress appropriately for each one. (Team hat or sweatshirt) And here's a hint: The more you get a man to talk about himself, the more he gets interested in YOU!

189 posted on 06/22/2025 10:47:15 AM PDT by Enterprise ( These people have no honor, no belief, no poetry, no art, no humor, no patriotism.)
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To: FLT-bird

*** She probably did spend her 20s beating off men with a stick....a great many men.....several of whom would have been good choices for her and would have stuck with her and built a life together with her had she chosen them back then. But no. Only the top 15-20% would do for her even if she was nowhere near the top 15-20% of women herself.***

To be fair, she did marry someone, had the kid, and then divorced. I wonder who filed for divorce. I’m guessing it was her, only because I think women statistically file for divorce more frequently.

I have a friend who is on her third marriage. She is what I call a progressive woman. Well, she even calls herself that.

Anyway, she married the first husband, had their kid, and then decided he wasn’t good enough for her, so divorced him. Got married a second time and divorced him. This latest one has lasted 20 years so far, and I think they’ll be together until they pass.

I only have known her for 10 years. So not long ago I asked her about her other husbands. She said the first one was actually a good guy, and she doesn’t know why she divorced him. She just thought she could do better. She said he was a good husband and great father. She had her own job, and he never stopped her from pursuing her interests. She also said that getting a divorce was in vogue, so she just did that. They share one daughter, so I guess they had to stay in touch for a while.

I think the author of this piece sounds like my friend, though 25 years younger.

My friend is still very liberal, and it does drive us nuts when she wants to pipe up about some issues. Her current husband is a successful small town lawyer, and he’s pretty conservative, though maybe leans libertarian. I don’t know him very well, but he seems very likable. I have no idea how they get along.


190 posted on 06/22/2025 10:57:05 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: TwelveOfTwenty
Yes pandering men, bleeding heart media, picking one out of a 100 cases where the woman was dumb enough to stick around and abusive man.

I STRONGLY doubt any abused woman just woke up next to a guy who was beating her.

That and california/ Lee Marvin and his live in . The courts decided she deserved 1/2 although they we never married. FEMINISM has killed marriage.

women, you give them what they want, and they don't want it anymore.

191 posted on 06/22/2025 11:08:11 AM PDT by Ikeon (5,365 times,I've already told ya. YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID)
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To: nonliberal; Kudsman

“I am your father’s brother’s nephew’s cousin’s former roommate.”
“Oh, stewardess! I speak jive.”

After she passes the movies quiz, have her watch sports with you. Pick a sport, any sport. See if she’ll get into it. If she does, she’s a keeper!

Oh, and make sure she can cook a bit, too! And keeps your favorite beer cold in the fridge. ;)


192 posted on 06/22/2025 11:22:34 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: ChildOfThe60s

I read that too. Love Coffee & Covid.
https://www.coffeeandcovid.com/p/bicycles-and-man-problems-saturday


193 posted on 06/22/2025 11:24:03 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: FLT-bird

What about when men hit the wall and are no longer young?

It amuses me that men actually believe that women lose our worth at a certain age, whilst men are always desirable.

False!!


194 posted on 06/22/2025 12:04:54 PM PDT by CrimsonTidegirl (Liverpool: 2025 Premier League Champions! )
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To: cgbg

For a woman, 54 isn’t old. I’m 54 and I look and behave years younger.

OTOH, a male older than 50 is past his sell-by date.


195 posted on 06/22/2025 12:29:01 PM PDT by CrimsonTidegirl (Liverpool: 2025 Premier League Champions! )
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To: CrimsonTidegirl
For a woman, 54 isn’t old. I’m 54 and I look and behave years younger. OTOH, a male older than 50 is past his sell-by date.

???

A man can have children until he dies. A woman over 40 having children is a risk. Over 50 is a near impossibility without frozen eggs and a surrogate.

196 posted on 06/22/2025 12:32:39 PM PDT by T.B. Yoits
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To: Enterprise
If she wants to meet a man, she can find them at football games, baseball games, NASCAR events, rodeos, Civil War Enactments, and MMA events, to name a few.

I would advise a woman to stay away from the NFL, MLB, and NASCAR. Those organizations embraced "pride" and Communist kneelers such as Black Lives MatterTM. "Men" who still attend such events, after the organizations spit on them, would be questionable.

197 posted on 06/22/2025 12:42:13 PM PDT by T.B. Yoits
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To: alternatives?

What book?


198 posted on 06/22/2025 12:43:14 PM PDT by Chickensoup
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To: ChildOfThe60s
This cultural, it is not solved by politicians.

It was caused by politicians, infecting a culture at the behest of the globalist cohorts. Feminism is a tool of Communists, and Communists are determined to destroy cultures.

199 posted on 06/22/2025 12:44:45 PM PDT by T.B. Yoits
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To: MinorityRepublican
The Amish and Orthodox Jews have high birth rates so they will eventually have a larger % of the population in a couple of generations.

Two groups with a higher percentage of birth defects due to genetic isolation.

https://amishamerica.com/do-amish-have-genetic-disorders/

200 posted on 06/22/2025 12:50:26 PM PDT by T.B. Yoits
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